


4infinity

by TenOrKris



Series: Carry On [1]
Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, DJ Johnny, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Everyone Loves Mark Lee (NCT), Getting Together, Idol Lee Taeyong, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mark is a nervous wreck, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, things pick up around chapter 19, writer mark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:55:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 77,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22565887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenOrKris/pseuds/TenOrKris
Summary: Mark Lee has been assigned to write an article about 4infinity, a new Korean boy group set to tour in America for the first time. He needed an outfit for the show since nothing in his closet or his roommate's closet would work. (He said it was to impress the other journalists but they both knew that wasn't the real reason why.) That's how he found himself in a local boutique face to face with the white haired leader of 4infinity, Lee Taeyong. Things get a little out of hand after that.Or in which American journalist Mark Lee ends up being courted by producer, rapper, Korean star-idol Lee Taeyong and things escalate after.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Kim Jongin | Kai/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jongin | Kai/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Lee Taeyong/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Mark Lee/Lee Taeyong, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: Carry On [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827790
Comments: 142
Kudos: 456





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's SuperM but like if SuperM only consisted of 4 members and Mark is actually living in America with his roommate Johnny. Oh and Taemin is Mark's boss. This has not been beta read so sorry in advance if this does not read right. My brain was going a mile a minute and this needed to be put into the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back at this chapter, it isn't the best but I believe it gets better after this. So if you're just now starting and are unsure give it a couple chapters!

It was cold that morning. Cold enough that every huff Mark took resulted in a cloud of condensation that quickly dissipated as he ran through it. He was running late and was bound to miss the bus. Normally he would be asleep this early in the morning, early being 9:00am on a Saturday. Saturdays were meant for sleeping in after a long week of work. Sometimes he wouldn’t even present himself to the world until after noon on the weekend. Being awake, ready, and at the bus stop by 9am on a Saturday was hard, man. Lucky for him, the bus was running late this morning. In one fluid motion he jumped in the open doors, swiped his transportation card, and walked towards the back of the bus. As the bus lurched forward, he checked his watch. 9:04am. He quickly sat down at the back of the near empty bus and slid his headphones in his ear as his morning properly began.

  
It wasn’t too often that Mark went into the city proper. He lived in the suburbs on the outskirts of town, just touching the adjacent city. Where the skyscrapers gave way to 4-5 story apartments and shopping centers. Going into the city was a feat, especially since he almost solely relied on public transportation or Johnny. Johnny being both his roommate and life long best friend. They’ve lived together in this 2 bedroom apartment for a couple months now, since Mark graduated college really. It wasn’t the best but they sacrificed their commute time to save on the outrageous city rent.

  
Mark and Johnny have history together. Johnny was a permanent fixture in Mark’s life for as long as he could remember. Their parents went to church together. Every Sunday, Mark would find himself sitting next to his senior in the pews while they pretended to pay attention to the service. More often than not, Mark would fall asleep against Johnny. Sometimes they would bring a pen and pad of paper and play tic tac toe or some other game they made up out of boredom. It was safe to say Johnny always won. Even though Johnny was ahead of Mark in school by 3 years, Mark would still see him in the hallways. They would pass by each other and Johnny would rub the younger’s hair making Mark smile on his way to class. He didn’t have a sibling but having Johnny around was just the same.

  
After almost a dozen stops and just as many Frank Ocean songs, Mark finally reaches his stop. Quickly he pushes the button to alert the driver, stands up, and hops out the rear door of the bus. The sun still hangs low, not reaching over the top of the surrounding buildings. It’s mid-November and the chill in the air cuts through Mark’s jacket. He pulls his beanie further down his head in hopes of it covering the length of his ears. The bus stop was only a quick walk down the main street from his destination.

* * *

It was rare that both Johnny and Mark were home at the same time to enjoy a meal together. Mark and Johnny loved their jobs. So much so that they both found themselves staying late into the evening at their respective offices. It was actually Johnny who helped Mark find him a job. Johnny was a nationally recognized radio talk show host for a major broadcasting studio that syndicated out to almost a hundred radio stations across the country. Mark loved to write and he loved music so it seemed like an obvious choice to want to pursue a journalism degree. So when Mark was close to graduating college, Johnny already put in a few calls to some music publication companies.

  
“Hey Mark, Rolling Stone just called asking about you.”

  
“Are you shitting me Johnny?”  
  


When Johnny said he was going to put in a good word for Mark, he did not realize he would be making a quick call to the editor-in-chief of the fucking Rolling Stone magazine. He knew Johnny had connections, but when Mark started getting calls almost everyday from recruiters, he started to panic.

  
“Johnny, I haven’t even GRADUATED yet.”

  
“You said you’re good, didn’t you? I only want what’s best for my little bro.”

  
“Yea Johnny, but fuck. Rolling Stone magazine?”

  
As he got closer to graduation, Mark finally settled and accepted a job as a journalist for a smaller national magazine.

  
It was a warm summer evening and the first time in a while that both roommates were home to eat dinner together. They decided to take their meal outside on the patio, overlooking the parking lot outside their building. It was a nutritious meal consisting of pizza from a local pizza place they frequented. (Frequented enough that they actually started to notice the same delivery driver brought their pizza. He must have caught on that Johnny loved to leave a more than nice tip.)

  
“Have you heard about that new group from Korea that’s blowing up here in America?” Johnny asked, a slice of pizza halfway to his mouth.

  
“You mean 4infinity? Yeah I actually got assigned to write an article about them. They’re doing a tour and one of the stops is at the arena on the other side of town.” Mark looked up from his phone to reply. He tried to keep his composure when he responded. He didn’t want to reveal to Johnny that he was actually obsessed with this group. Mark’s music taste was pretty well varied; he listened to everything due to his job but he did actually enjoy most of what he listened to but he usually leaned more toward hip hop. When he listened to this new group 4infinity though, something clicked. It wasn’t your average pop group music, it was slower and more bass heavy. They made songs that were all so different yet still sounded very much like they were from the same group. It also didn’t help that the four men that made up the group were very attractive.

  
Mid-chew Johnny raised an eyebrow. “So you’re going to the concert then?”

  
“Yep, it’s in November. Taemin got my ticket last week. I can ask for another if you want to come?” Taemin was Mark’s boss, the editor-in-chief. He was an interesting dude, but Mark didn’t see him often. When he did, it was usually the middle of the day and he was bouncing between writers asking about their current project. Most people who didn’t know Taemin thought he was like some aloof, goofy character from a cartoon. People who actually worked for him though knew he was a passionate and fierce creature. He cared very much about his publication and would not hesitate to fire someone over inconsistency or poor writing.

  
“Mark!” Johnny gasped dramatically, his hand against his heart as if Mark had said something so offensive. “Do you forget who I am?”  
  


The younger glares across the patio table, putting his pizza down. “Don’t you dare.”

  
“Don’t I dare what? Remind you of how I am one of the top radio talents in the country? How I have connections to every music production company in the country? That bands from all over would kill to have me play their song on my show?” Johnny mocks, hand still slapped across his chest.

  
Mark just grumbled in response, picking his pizza back up in one hand and his phone in the other. Johnny chuckled and they continued their dinner in silence.

* * *

Mark shuffled down the main street quickly, hands in his pockets, hurrying to get out of the cold. He would have come later in the day once the November sun warmed up the streets but it was the day of the 4infinity concert and he was running out of time. Since the concert was considered “work” and Mark would ultimately find himself backstage at some point to listen to the group’s PR session, he wanted to attempt to look like he belonged backstage with the rest of the reporters. At least, that’s what he told himself when going through his closet after dinner last night. After an hour of rummaging through his own closet to no avail, he barged into Johnny’s room announcing himself after he already had one foot through the door.

  
“You could have at least pretended to knock.” Johnny looked over from his desk pushed against the wall opposite from his bed. Johnny got the master bedroom with the attached bath while Mark willingly took the smaller of the two. Johnny preened more than most men so Mark knew that would have been a lost battle before it even began.

  
“I can’t find anything to wear, I need to look through your closet.” Mark walked straight to where Johnny’s closet was located. Mark knew Johnny’s clothes were going to be too big on him, what with Johnny being much broader and taller than him. Johnny knew that his clothes were going to be too big. Johnny also knew that Mark knew that.

  
Johnny stood up from his desk and, after pushing his chair under, walked into the walk in closet. Mark was swiping through Johnny’s hung shirts, shaking his head at every option. He looked over to the door frame where Johnny stood, hip popped and leaning against the door jamb.

  
“Please don’t say it.” Mark turned around and continued his search, this time attacking the dresser.

  
“Don’t say what, Mark?” Johnny asked, holding back a laugh.

  
“Don’t say that I’m cute when trying to impress someone.” Mark grits.

  
“Now why would I ever say that?” Johnny remarks with obvious sarcasm.

  
Mark slams the dresser drawer shut and turns around to face Johnny properly. “I’m not kidding. I’m just trying to find something to wear tomorrow so I don’t embarrass myself in front of other journalists. I don’t want to show up to this interview in jeans and a tshirt Johnny. You of all people should know how important it is to impress your peers.”

  
Mark hasn’t been working at the magazine long. He only graduated a couple months ago and started working there a month before he graduated, doing smaller articles on the weekends. This was the only the 2nd time he ever got to go to a concert on business. The last time was for some small local rock band that Taemin thought had potential. This situation was different. This concert was going to be big. 4infinity, while a new group, managed to sell out 12,000 seats at this arena. It’s rare to see that even with an American group, let alone a foreign group whose first language wasn’t English. So when Taemin asked Mark if we wanted to cover the concert, he immediately accepted. (Or maybe it was because he might have a crush on the leader of the group.)

  
After a few seconds of silence, Mark marched out of the closet and back into Johnny’s bedroom where he jumped into Johnny’s neatly made bed. Johnny followed behind and resumed his position at his desk, swiveling his chair to face Mark.

  
“You can stop pretending that you don't totally have the hots for them.”

  
Mark’s spine shot straight and the rest of his body stiffened along with it. He never addressed his sexuality with Johnny before. He didn’t want his friend to think that he was weird or that he had some weird crush on him. Sure, there was a brief time in high school where Mark thought he liked Johnny but that was mostly just the raging hormones and him coming to terms with his sexuality. Neither of them talked about relationships or brought anyone home, so it wasn’t like he ever had to come out of the closet.  
  


Johnny continued after Mark didn’t respond. “Dude, it’s the 21st century. It’s okay to be gay.”

  
Mark laughed awkwardly as his body loosened up. “I didn’t want it to be weird. We went to church together after all, what if you hated me because of it?”  
  


“Markie poo I could never hate you. You’re my little bro no matter what.” Johnny cooed and Mark responded with a scoff.

  
“Gay or not, I am not trying to impress a group of men I will probably never see again. I am just trying to dress the part of a professional. I get mistaken for a high schooler enough as it is, I don’t want to get kicked out because security thinks some fanboy snuck backstage.”

  
“Then why don’t you go to that shop downtown I get my work clothes from? They love me there and can easily set you up with some nice threads to totally not impress a boy band. I’ll text the manager right now and tell her you’re coming.” Johnny pulled out his phone and sent the address of the boutique he frequents.

* * *

This is how Mark finds himself inside a velvet curtained dressing room trying on clothes being handed to him by a polite blonde woman. The store just opened up so it was pretty quiet apart from the generic adult contemporary music playing overhead. It was just him and a couple employees littered throughout the store putting out new stock. He slid on the newest pair of pants that were handed to him, a clean, crisp pair of black jeans. They were slim but not too tight, hugging in all the right places. Then, quickly, slid on a black and white plaid button up. He ran his fingers through his frizzed black hair, trying to get the flyways to lay down after all the static created from pulling the shirt on. He analyzed himself in the mirror before deciding to tuck in the shirt.

  
After tucking in the shirt and giving himself a nod of approval, he stepped out from the curtained room to ask for a second opinion. He looked around the hallway of velvet curtains. Not finding anyone to ask, he walked out to the entrance of the dressing rooms. All of the employees seemed to have gathered around the cash register exchanging hushed words. They all kept looking up to the other side of the store where a wall was blocking Mark’s line of sight. They could see something he couldn’t. Something turned out to be someone. Someone being a white haired man dressed in blue jeans and an over-sized gray knit sweater. The sweater sleeves covered his hands, shrinking the man. He couldn’t make out the face but Mark was sure he was attractive with the way the employees gawked at him.  
  


The woman who was helping him earlier noticed Mark and walked over to him quickly. Mark smiled and asked for approval. She gave some generic compliments and Mark thanked her and returned to change back into the clothes he arrived in. While he was bending over to tie the laces of his sneakers, he heard a different female voice outside the curtain.

  
“...and here’s a fitting room for you. Let me know if you need anything in a different size or color and I will gladly grab it for you.”

  
Mark stood up and walked out only to come face to face with the white haired man from earlier. This white haired man that had all the employees swooning turned out to be Lee Taeyong. The Lee Taeyong. Taeyong, leader of 4infinity and rapper extraordinaire, was standing only a couple feet away. Mark froze when it finally hit him that he was standing in front of the whole reason he was in the store to begin with.


	2. Chain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark makes a fool of himself, but when doesn't he?

Mark had only seen Taeyong in videos and his carefully crafted Instagram posts. He spent many nights scrolling through his feed in awe at the perfect angles of his face. The way Taeyong’s lips formed little pockets in the corners when he gave a small smile. His tall cupid’s bow that dipped just as low. A rainbow of hair colors as you swiped through the months, almost as if they were a tree with leaves changing colors with the seasons. Sometimes, if the photo wasn’t heavily filtered, you could even catch a glimpse of his scar that sits carefully under his right eye. Mark found himself almost slack jawed, his lips parted slightly, as he found out for himself that photos truly did not do this man justice.

  
Taeyong cocked an eyebrow as seconds passed and Mark continued to say absolutely nothing. He could feel the heat creep up his neck as Taeyong continued to look at him in confusion. Good job Mark, way to embarrass yourself in front of one of the most beautiful men on this planet. Mark’s brain was nothing but static as he continued to say absolutely nothing. Taeyong muttered something that sounded like an apology and went into the dressing room leaving Mark still standing in the middle of the hallway, clothes in hand.  
  


“Great job Mark, way to fuck that up.” He mumbled to himself as he walked to the store counter. The employees that were previously huddled around had dispersed and made themselves busy again. The woman who had been helping him, who’s name he cannot remember to save his life, took the clothes from his arms.

  
“Did you want to check out? Or were you still looking? There’s this belt that I think would look really good with this. Maybe a necklace?” she gestured towards the wall opposite of the dressing room. The same area of the store where Taeyong was earlier. Mark nodded and followed her over. After a quick search, she handed him the aforementioned belt which he looked over quickly.

  
“Awesome, I’ll take it.”

  
“Excellent, I’ll add it to the rest of your items. I’ll leave you to keep looking, if you need me I will be at the register.” She grabbed the belt and returned to the counter.

  
Mark didn’t find himself much of a jewelry person. He liked to dress casually and had the luxury of a job and boss that let him show up to work however he wanted. This usually consisted of some pair of jeans he’s had forever, whatever shirt was clean, and the pair of sneakers Johnny gifted him for his birthday last year. Looking through these racks of silver and gold made him feel out of place and overwhelmed. He picked up a small silver chain and bounced his hand up and down to feel the weight of it. He truly had no idea what he was doing here, idly touching the variety of metals displayed on the wall.

  
He picked up a gold chain this time and decided gold would not match. After glancing through what seemed like a never ending supply of precious metals, he thought to ask for help. He could look through everything this store had to offer and still not know what would look best. Before he could even think about turning around, he felt a presence behind him. Before he could even excuse himself out of the way, the presence spoke.

  
“I like this one.” A hand appeared next to his arm, reaching towards some silver chain. The hand pulled it off the wall and held it next to Mark. Mark stared at the hands before realizing that the person was offering it to him.

  
“Uhm, thanks?” Mark finally took the chain and turned around. The breath was immediately sucked out of his lungs as Taeyong smiled brightly at him. Mark unwillingly staggered back. Why was he so close to him?

  
“You had on that plaid shirt earlier, right? This would go well with it.”

  
“O-oh, thanks.” Mark was really fucking this up, wasn’t he? Did he really see him in that outfit? Was he not capable of saying literally anything other than thanks? What would he even say? “Oh hey I love your music and also sometimes I think about you when I…”

  
Before he could even finish that thought, Taeyong stepped to the right of Mark. Mark still had his back to the wall and Taeyong faced it looking through the jewelry. They brushed shoulders briefly, sending red straight to Mark’s face. What is he even supposed to do in this situation? Shouldn’t Taeyong have some sort of body guard or someone to stop people from approaching him? Should he acknowledge the fact that he’s going to see him at the concert tonight? Or is that weird?

  
Before Mark could say something stupid, Taeyong handed him another necklace.

  
“Actually, this one would suit you better.”

  
That’s it, Mark HAD to say something. He wouldn’t be able to let himself live if he didn’t say something. But he can’t let the rapper, song-writer, and international star know that the whole reason he was in this store to begin with was him. (He may have told Johnny he was here to get clothes to impress people but they both knew that was a bold faced lie.) So what does that leave him with? Mark decided to keep it simple. Everyone can do small talk, right?  
  


“You think so? I honestly have no clue what to look for.” Mark took the new necklace from him. Taeyong continued to hold his hand out, to return the other necklace back to it’s rightful spot. Mark handed it to him carefully, trying to avoid any skin contact with the man.

  
“A longer chain would look better since the shirt has a collar. Something like this that’s long and thin would be a nice touch and not too distracting.” Taeyong pointed to just below his sternum.

  
“Well then in that case, I’ll be sure to get it.” Mark offered a smile that bordered on awkward, which Taeyong returned fully. His eyes scrunching up as his cheeks rose with the smile. This was a side of Taeyong that Mark has yet to see through his hours of research. Taeyong rarely seemed to smile so fully in his interviews and especially not in his selfies. He had such a cool and calm presence that some people thought that he was an asshole, to put it politely. Unlike the netizens who were out to make Taeyong the bad guy, Mark could see through this demeanor in the interviews when he would see Taeyong stifle a laugh at something one of the other members had said. Mark knew that under that hard exterior was something soft and kind, something that didn’t get to see the public eye.

  
“Can I ask what the get up is for?”

  
Oh no. The situation he was trying to avoid.  
  


“Uh well, actually…” Mark trailed off. Taeyong looked at him confused. “I uh, you see…” And he’s back to completely fucking this up.

  
“It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me. I was just curious.” Taeyong offered with a forced chuckle.

  
“Ah, no it’s not that!” Mark quickly backtracking, trying to salvage whatever was left of this conversation. “It’s just that, I’m not sure how to say it without it being weird.”

  
Taeyong cocked his eyebrow like before in the hallway of dressing rooms. Mark’s heart skipped a beat at the stare.

  
“Weird?” Taeyong asked, more to himself than Mark.

  
“Well, I mean… you’re… I guess….” Mark tripped over his words, Taeyong’s eyebrow only raising higher with each passing moment. Then it finally clicked.

  
“OH!” Mark jumped as Taeyong shouted. “You’re going to the concert tonight aren’t you?”

  
“Ah, yea… I am…” Mark rubbed the back of his neck, his voice coming out more as a whisper than anything else. Taeyong looked even more confused than before. Well, now that the cat is out of the bag, what does he have to lose? Taeyong didn’t look like he was trying to find an excuse to leave the conversation.

  
“I actually work for SM Magazine. I got assigned to write an article on you guys so my boss gave me a press pass so I can go tonight and sit in on the interview. Sorry, I didn’t want to say anything and make it seem like I’m stalking you like I’m some sort of paparazzi or something. Honestly, I was just looking for an outfit to wear that wouldn’t totally suck. There’s going to be a lot of people there that have it out for me. They’re jealous I got such a good job straight out of college and they had to work their way up some stupid ladder scheme. Plus, I really needed new clothes anyways.” Mark rambled on, words flowing out of his mouth before he even had a chance to stop himself. If he was going to die, dying from embarrassment in front of Taeyong wouldn’t be the worst way to go. “Sorry…” Mark added quietly, to try and ease his embarrassment, much like dousing a house fire with a glass of water.

  
“SM Magazine?” Taeyong asked before Mark could further embarrass himself.

  
“Yea, it’s a music magazine. We’re not the biggest but we all are very passionate about what we write about.”

  
“I’m familiar with them. Taemin is your boss then, right?”

  
“Yeah he is actually, do you know him?” Mark asked. Not very many people seemed to know his boss since he tended to stay pretty behind the scenes for the magazine, or so Mark thought.

  
“Sort of. My manager knows him personally. Taemin is quite good at what he does, how else do you think he got press passes to a closed interview? Not very many companies got one of those.” Taeyong hummed. Now Mark was even more confused. He was under the assumption that everyone got a press pass since he got one. He was still new to the scene so why would his boss give him such an exclusive press pass? He was a good writer, but he didn’t think he was that good.

  
Over the music playing throughout the store, Mark could hear a phone vibrate. Taeyong pulled his phone out of his pocket, looking at what was probably a notification. Judging by the way Taeyong’s eyebrows furrowed, he must not have been expecting it. Before Mark could excuse himself, Taeyong spoke up.

  
“Speak of the devil, my manager just texted me saying I need to rehearse. I told him I was only going to get some food so I’ve probably been gone a suspicious amount of time for him to text me.” This time it was Taeyong rubbing his neck sheepishly.

  
“Sorry for keeping you.” Mark offered.

  
“You apologize a lot, you know that?”

  
“Do I? Sorry… Ah I mean… I guess I do, don’t I?”

  
“Cute. Actually, what are you doing before the concert? Why don’t you come to rehearsal with me? You sound like you really want to make an impression so maybe this will give you something to make your article even better? Just gotta promise you won’t tell all your paparazzi friends.” Taeyong laughed, bowing his head to hide his face. Did Taeyong just call Mark cute? More importantly, did Taeyong just invite him to their rehearsal? Was he even allowed in there? He really thought he made a complete fool of himself, but clearly not if the leader of an international group selling our arenas left and right invited him to rehearsal. He’ll have to remember to thank Johnny later.

  
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude or get someone in trouble.” Mark thought about turning him down but he really could write an excellent article being able to watch the group in their element before they put on their stage personas.

  
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll text my manager and get things squared away.”

  
“In that case, yeah that’d be awesome.” Mark started fidgeting with the necklace still in his hands. “Oh, but I still need to check out.” He added, holding up the chain Taeyong had offered him earlier.

  
“I’ll get a taxi while you check out then. Meet me up front when you’re done?” Taeyong said, no longer looking at Mark and instead at his phone quickly typing what must have been a message to his manager. He looked up when he was finished, Mark still hadn’t moved, too dumbstruck to even believe what was happening. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” Taeyong giggled, fully giggled like some child. Mark quickly looked away, avoiding eye contact in hopes of keeping a semblance of composure.

  
“Right, okay.” Mark said quietly, barely loud enough for Taeyong to catch. He quickly walked away before he could say anything else to ruin this opportunity. He didn’t check behind him to see if Taeyong had actually left to get a taxi. If he looked back, he’d probably vomit or chicken out.

  
Mark’s mind was racing the entire 30 seconds it took for him to walk to the register. His legs felt like his bones had melted; the only thing keeping him up at that point being sheer willpower. He was really about to get in a taxi with Taeyong. The venue was at least a 10 minute drive on a good day but it was the weekend and people were out shopping. It was already awkward enough standing in the store, but now he has to sit in a car and not come off like some obsessed fanboy for over 10 minutes? No worries, Mark was a professional. This was simply part of his job, that’s all. He would sit in the car and just ask him about his process and the synergy he developed with the rest of the group. The whole reason any of this was happening was because he’s just writing an article, nothing more.

  
It seemed a crowd had reformed around the register. As Mark was approaching the counter, a handful of employees scattered away like lizards hiding after you flip a rock. He got it, he would probably do the same in their situation. It’s not often someone as   
beautiful as Taeyong walks into your small little store on a whim. He wondered if those people even knew who he actually was or if they were just awestruck by his looks. As if reading his mind, the employee who had been helping him spoke up. “Do you know him?”

  
“Uhm, sort of?” Mark wasn’t sure how to answer and decided to keep it simple in case this situation blew up into more than it was.

  
“He’s VERY handsome. Ah, sorry, are you ready to check out?” Mark pulled out his tattered leather wallet and paid for his items. While the employee was bagging his purchase, he finally decided to peek outside the store windows. Taeyong was standing idly looking at his phone confirming this wasn’t some sort of fever dream. This was actually happening, no hidden cameramen were going to pop out from behind the racks of clothes. Taeyong had indeed invited him to watch 4infinty rehearse. A brown paper shopping bag was slid across the counter, pulling Mark back down to Earth. He took the bag, offered pleasantries to the employee who had watched this all unfold, and headed towards his inevitable demise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading your daily dose of mediocre fic. More characters to be introduced next chapter finally. 
> 
> If I made any grammatical or spelling errors, let me know! Constructive criticism welcome!
> 
> I made a Twitter if your interested [@aQuest10n](https://twitter.com/aQuest10n)


	3. Your Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark never did introduce himself, did he?

The sun was just starting to grace its presence to the tops of the buildings that touched the blue sky. It was still on the chilly side but not cold enough for shivers to run through Mark’s body, yet Mark found himself shaking uncontrollably as he stood outside watching Taeyong on the phone. At some point while Mark was still inside, Taeyong must have called his manager. Or maybe his manager called him. It was hard to tell when only hearing one half of the apparently heated argument happening in front of Mark. He was trying not to eavesdrop but it was hard when Taeyong sounded so angry. The carefully constructed facade that Taeyong puts up was starting to chip away at the edges and Mark found that endearing. Somewhere under the perfect face and the perfect voice, stood a normal man. This was a stupid thought, of course Taeyong was a normal person. Why would Mark think otherwise? He shook his head and coughed to announce his presence since Taeyong didn’t notice when he had walked out or the fact that he had been standing just off to his side for over a minute now.

  
“Ah, listen Baekhyun… I know what I’m doing okay? Have a little faith.” Taeyong quipped and ended with a chime of a laugh. Did Taeyong always laugh like that? Mark can’t remember ever hearing him laugh in the dozens of videos he’s watched of him. “We’re on the way now, see you soon boss.”

  
Taeyong hung up the phone. So this was really happening. He had told his manager, Baekhyun apparently, that “we’re” coming. Mark didn’t make this up, there was no way he could have made this up. The shaking only worsened.

  
“Sorry, didn’t see you come out. Are you cold? Come on, get in the cab before you get sick.”

  
Mark managed to round up all the courage he could to get himself to move. He slid into the back seat of the waiting taxi first, followed by Taeyong. Mark placed his shopping bag on his lap, clinging onto it as if it was the only thing keeping him from floating up out of the seat. Taeyong was only a foot away from him, sitting like this was not some huge deal that was causing him to almost hyperventilate and break out into a sweat. Okay so maybe that was just Mark.

  
Taeyong told the driver where to go while Mark quickly pulled out his phone to text Johnny.

11:23AM  
Not coming back so don’t wait up for me  
See you after the concert  
You’re still picking me up right?

11:23AM  
What do you mean you’re not coming back??  
Yea just text me when you’re almost done with your interview

11:24AM  
Weren’t you supposed to come back to change?

11:26AM  
Mark?

Mark quickly slid his phone in his pocket before Taeyong could notice. He started to fidget with his bag, hoping that it would calm his nerves. It must have been noticeable because Taeyong looked down at the noise.

  
“You can change backstage if you want. We’ll be out on stage for a while making sure our mics work and everything.” Taeyong offered.

  
“Thanks, I didn’t even think about that to be honest.” Mark laughed, finally turning his head away from his lap.

  
“No worries, Baekhyun knows you’re tagging along so I’m sure he’s already back there hiding all the unmentionables.” This time Taeyong laughed, a confident laugh that filled Mark’s chest with cotton.

  
“Baekhyun is your manager then?”

  
“He is, fortunately. I don’t know what I would do without him half the time. I get so caught up in my thoughts that sometimes I just space out and he has to bring me back to reality. Just this morning he had to force feed me breakfast because I was writing lyrics since 5 this morning. Wait, don’t write that in the article. I don’t need the general public knowing about my terrible sleeping habits.” Another laugh escaped Taeyong’s lips, this time more of a giggle. People like to call Taeyong the serious leader but Mark has heard him laugh more in the past 30 minutes than all the time he’s spent listening and watching his interviews.

  
“No worries, I didn’t plan on it. Can I ask you a couple things though? Officially? I’m not sure what the rules are here.” Mark decided to put his work hat on. When he worked, he was a different person. A creature of passion and will, ready to pick apart songs as if they were holding the answers to the meaning of life.

  
“I don’t see why not, I’ll just be sure to give you my official answers.” Taeyong smirked, causing Mark to look away. He pulled out his phone and looked back at Taeyong once the red from his face drained.

“Alright, let me open up my notes. I had a couple things I wanted to ask in the interview but now I can keep them to myself. Ah, okay… Do you find it hard working with such an eclectic group? You guys come from pretty diverse backgrounds, was it hard in the beginning?”

  
“In the beginning it was hard, we didn’t know much about each other. Sure, we all loved music but how much of a relationship can you build off of just liking music? It’s been a while since we started working together now and we’ve grown into a family; they’re practically my brothers. There are times where we butt heads about something but it all works out in the end.”

  
“Makes sense, I don’t have any siblings but me and my roommate fight a lot. But since we’ve known each other since we were little we always end up making nice.” Mark mused as he typed into his notes.

  
“Right, it takes a lot to live with someone and see their face almost every day. So you’re close with your roommate then? To have known each other for so long and be able to live together…. Whew that must be a lot.”

  
“Oh yea, he actually helped me get this job. He’s a pretty big DJ so he has his ways around the music community. It also doesn’t help that he’s the biggest social butterfly I know.”

  
“A DJ? Like on the radio?”

  
“Mm, yeah. His name is Johnny Suh, he has a show called “What’s Suh-p” which I think is a dumb name for a show but whatever, he’s the famous one not me.” Mark mumbled the last part. Somehow this ended up becoming a conversation about Mark. While the nerves were gone, he still had this tightness in his chest every time he looked at the other man. It was often Mark was comfortable enough to just talk about himself like this, so why was it happening now? Mark shook the thought from his head and tried to ring the conversation back in. “Did you think you would end up being this big so soon?”

  
“I think every artist dreams of becoming famous, especially performers. You live to perform, so why wouldn’t you want to become famous and perform in front of as many people as possible?”

  
A non-answer. This was the Taeyong that Mark was used to seeing. The mask that was so carefully crafted to keep the image up, the mystery to draw people in.

  
“That’s fair. But so soon though? Why do you think that is?” The car had started to slow down to a stop. They must have arrived, had it really been that long since they got in the car? It seems like they only just got in. Taeyong paid the driver despite Mark’s attempt at an argument to convince him otherwise. Taeyong slid out first followed by Mark, who struggled with his bag. On par for the course for Mark to embarrass himself in front of the older.

  
In front of them was what looked like the back entrance of the arena. At least Mark assumed it was the back entrance since there were loading docks and men carrying in what appeared to be large trunks. If Mark wasn’t nervous before, he was now. Everyone was rushing around and shouting, trying to get their job done. Mark felt out of place. Taeyong took no notice and continued on towards the door that people were passing in and out of. No one seemed to pay either of them any attention despite bearing no passes saying they belonged. Strange.

  
"To answer your question, I think it's because we come from different backgrounds and the music we make touches a lot of people in a lot of different ways. And that's my official and personal opinion so be sure to write that down." Taeyong looked over and winked. He continued to guide them through the basement of the venue, people noticing them and stepping out of the way. Guess you don't need a pass when you're the reason anyone is even there to begin with.

  
Taeyong stopped in front of an open door only a few feet in front of Mark. There were voices coming from inside but Mark couldn't make any of them out. Then a loud laugh that stopped as abruptly as it began. A couple seconds of silence passed before a blonde haired man dressed in black jeans and a black t-shirt carefully tucked in stepped outside the door jamb right in front of Taeyong. At almost eye level, they looked like a matching pair of dolls that would sit carefully on a shelf. Very carefully handmade to look similar but still different. After a second of what appeared to be an unspoken conversation happening between them, they both simultaneously turned their heads towards Mark. Mark felt acid in his throat trying to make its way to his mouth.

  
"Baekhyun this is… oh. Shit."

  
Mark's face scrunched in confusion, heat creeping onto his cheeks. Did something happen? Was he finally realizing his mistake and getting ready to kick him out? Baekhyun looked just as confused, then broke out in laughter. Mark didn't get the joke. Baekhyun grabbed Taeyong's shoulder, shaking it with his laughter. Mark still didn't get what was so funny.

  
"You really? Yongie you got in a car with him. How do you not know?"

  
Realization hit him, his head filling with newfound clarity, making his world spin. This entire time, neither of them introduced themselves properly to each other. Mark didn't think of it since he already knew who Taeyong was. As for Taeyong, he didn't have a clue as to why he never asked for his name.

  
"I'm so sorry." This time it was Taeyong's cheeks turning pink.

  
"That’s my bad, I should have introduced myself. I'm Mark Lee."

  
"Nice to properly meet you Mark Lee. I'm Taeyong but I guess you already knew that. And this buffoon is Baekhyun, my manager."

  
Mark bowed his head in which Baekhyun returned with an outstretched hand.

  
"Nice to meet you, _Mark_." Baekhyun said with an emphasis on Mark. Mark accepted the handshake, hoping the other didn't notice his sweaty palms.

  
"Nice to meet you too. Mr. Lee was actually telling me earlier that you know Taemin?” The professional working hat was on and pulled tightly against Mark’s scalp. He was here to work, and work he will.

  
Before Baekhyun could respond, Taeyong’s hands shot in front of his chest, giving them a wave. “Please don’t call me Mr. Lee. We’re like the same age, call me Taeyong.” Mark nodded in response, unsure of what to say at this point. Baekhyun took the silence as permission to respond.

  
“Everyone worth knowing knows Taemin. He’s a weasel who will work his way into wherever he wants. Luckily for me, we met before he learned that habit. Doesn’t stop him from trying with me anyways, that’s how you got that pass for tonight at least. Speaking of, we should get going. Taeyong, you know the drill. Mark, you can follow me.” A moment of silence passed while Taeyong looked between Mark and Baekhyun, looking almost concerned, the eyebrow tilt giving himself away. Before he could speak, Baekhyun pushed him into the room that had remained silent the entire time they were standing in the hallway. Baekhyun turned, his back now facing Mark, and continued to walk down the hall, further into the belly of the building. Mark took this as a sign to follow him. His eyes flicked to the open door as he passed, but it seemed to be empty now. Whoever was in that room must have moved on as soon as Taeyong entered.

  
The halls were mostly empty the further in they walked. Despite the lack of people, it managed to get louder with each step forward. Music was pounding the walls, not loud enough to shake and rattle but still feel it nonetheless. Then, they were met with a stairwell that led up to what must have been the public hallways that would soon be flooded with excited fans. A large man dressed in jeans and a yellow polo stood guard at the bottom of the stairs, he looked up and exchanged nods with Baekhyun. They walked past and ascended up the stairs with no words. At the top Baekhyun finally spoke.

  
“If you go to the right past the ropes and security, you’ll find the public entrance.” Baekhyun paused looking at the bag still in Mark’s hands. “You’re not going that way yet though, come on.” He laughed and pointed his head in the opposite direction of the 2 guards that sat in chairs watching the empty hall. Baekhyun continued talking.

  
“You need to change, right? Yong mentioned it on the phone earlier. You can use their dressing room, it’s empty right now. The stylists haven’t come yet, otherwise they’d be sure to give both you and me hell for setting step in there.” Baekhyun huffed through his nose, making something that almost sounded like a laugh. The empty hall started to become littered with more people, a much more calm group than those that were below. A final few feet further and they stopped in front of a closed door with a crudely taped sheet of printed paper with “4infinity” taped onto the front. Guess that’s one way to distinguish a dressing room.

  
Baekhyun opened the door and stepped away, gesturing towards the door. “You can get dressed in here, I’ll be outside when you’re done. Then we can take you to the fun part.” Baekhyun added with a slight smirk. Mark tried not to let his fear show, standing straight and tall. He walked into the room, gave thanks, and closed the door before he could collapse in front of anyone.

  
Mark pressed his back against the door and took in a deep breath. It felt as if he had been holding in a breath since getting in the taxi and now he finally had the safety and freedom to let it go. The room was bright, 1 wall covered in mirrors with light bulbs lining the top reflecting the light into the room. It looked like what you would expect a dressing room would look like, a counter below the mirrors with chairs tucked neatly in place. The opposite wall was lined with a couch and a coffee table sat squarely in front of it. Mark walked into the room, placing his bag on the coffee table and plopped onto the couch. Eventually this dressing room would be flooded with people running around, making the members of 4infinity stage ready. Swooping their hair in perfect waves, adding the final touches of powder for their faces. And here was Mark in the calm before the storm. After a couple of breaths, Mark slid his phone out of his pocket and checked his notifications, forgetting that he dropped that bomb on his roommate. Debating on whether it was worth opening that can of worms, he decided to check his emails first. Nothing. Instagram. Nothing. Twitter. There were a couple posts from people excited about the concert tonight but that was no surprise. Finally, he opened his texts from Johnny. 12 missed messages, it could have been worse.

  
11:23AM  
What do you mean you’re not coming back??  
Yea just text me when you’re almost done with your interview

11:24AM  
Weren’t you supposed to come back to change?

11:26AM  
Mark?

11:30AM  
Look at least text me that you’re OK  
You can’t just say you’re not coming back and not say anything else  
What if you got kidnapped  
You could be dead right now  
And i wouldn’t know cuz you didn’t tell me where you were going

11:43AM  
At least tell me you are going to eat before the show  
I don’t want to pick you up from the hospital because you decided to stand on your feet for hours on an empty stomach

11:56AM  
Kidding about that last part, of course I would pick you up from the hospital

A laugh escaped Mark’s mouth, followed by a sigh. Johnny could be a bit dramatic sometimes to say the least. To ease his roommates worries, he shot a quick text.

12:02PM  
I’m fine, MOM. Something work related came up. I’ll be sure to tell you all about it when you pick me up. (hopefully not from a hospital)

Mark didn’t have to wait long for a response, Johnny must have been staring at his phone for the past 30 minutes waiting for a response. He was going to give himself an aneurysm from worrying. Mark shook his head.

  
12:02PM  
Took you long enough.  
Alright, have a good day at work sweetie. MWAH  
  
  
With that Mark threw his phone down the couch, where it landed with a nice smack against the black pleather cushion. Not ready to ruin this opportunity, Mark stood up quickly and began to change, hoping the waiting manager was not becoming suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Neo Zone!!! Can't believe it's already less than a month until release. Anyone got any good theories?
> 
> I wanted to introduce the rest of the members this chapter but decided to save it for next chapter.


	4. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark likes to do his research.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed through this one, sorry. I wanted to get this done before the weekend.

It didn’t take long for Mark to quickly swap clothes. He flung everything off and threw it onto the couch leaving him in just his boxer briefs. Everything was already pulled out of the bag and placed onto the coffee table. First was the button up, then followed by the pants. Carefully he tucked in the shirt before closing up the jeans. Sliding on the belt, he checked himself out in the wall of mirrors. Then he remembered the necklace. He turned around and grabbed the pile of silver from the table and held it in the palm of his hand. When Taeyong handed it to him, he didn’t look at it much, too focused on the close proximity of the celebrity. Now he had a chance to thoroughly look at it. It was a long simple silver chain, nothing too extravagant about it. Hanging off the chain was a small, thin unpressed rectangle of silver, so smooth it reflected like a mirror. He flipped the rectangle over, thinking that there would be something engraved on it, but it was blank. Simple, Mark liked simple. He put his head through the necklace and the rectangle landed perfectly at his sternum. It really did tie the whole look together, Mark thought. He’ll have to remember to thank Taeyong.

Without wasting anymore time, Mark stuffed his previous set of clothes into the shopping bag. Stopping right before the closed door, Mark calmed himself. He took a deep breath and held it in for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 seconds and let it out slowly. He repeated this until his heart finally reached a normal pace and was no longer pounding in his ears like the music outside. He noticed the music had gotten significantly louder and could hear the almost robotic voice of something through the beat. Something about mic 1 needing to be swapped? Audio tech was not Mark’s forte despite his time spent making music on his guitar in his bedroom. Sure, he was a writer and loved his job but the reason he wrote was because he loved music. He knew being a musician was hard in America and he preferred to keep music personal anyways. So he stuck with plucking away at his guitar with his cheap recording equipment he picked up from the Guitar Center when he got his signing bonus. Sometimes he would ask Johnny to come sing for him or to listen to something he recorded but his music rarely left the apartment.

Mark opened the door to the dressing room and stepped outside. Baekhyun was, of course, waiting. He was leaned back against the wall across from the door, nose in his phone. Despite the ruckus of what could be assumed was rehearsal, Baekhyun looked up at the sound of the door clicking closed behind Mark. The older offered a blinding smile, all teeth and round cheeks. He pushed himself off the wall and walked towards Mark, taking the bag from his hands.

“That’s a good look on you. I can give you this back when you’re done after the show, so don’t forget it, kay?”

“Mm, yea sure.” Mark nodded, trying not to make direct eye contact.

“Alright, let’s go. The boys are on stage already so I’ll take you down to the sound booth.”

After walking through the curtains blocking the hall from the arena itself, they walked down the stairs and across the floor to what would be the sound booth. It was up off the floor, like it’s own separate stage on the opposite side of the actual stage. There were lots of screens and wires and buttons being carefully operated by numerous people. Any music had stopped while they were walking across the floor.

“You can hang out in front of the booth, sit or stand up to you.” Baekhyun motioned towards the rows of chairs lined up in front of the mini stage. “I have to go up on stage to make sure the fool don’t fuck something up. If you need something, you can just tell Kun up there, he’s part of our crew.” Baekhyun shouted at Kun, who waved distractedly. His hands were too occupied with the numerous buttons and sliding scales to give anything more than that. At that, Baekhyun bid Mark farewell and climbed up onto the empty stage. It was bright on stage but the rest of the arena was dark. All white light being shone onto the black stage, a giant black LED screen at the back displaying the 4infinity logo, which was really just their name in a elegant font. This was real and Mark was really the only person here who did not work for the venue or for SPR Music, the company that owned 4infinity. Despite feeling like he didn’t belong, no one was paying Mark any attention. He guessed that was a good thing, as he walked to the front row of chairs and sat in the middle. With the floor being small, the sound booth was only a dozen or so yards away. In between were 2 sections of folding chairs with an aisle to separate them. At the front row, Mark was able to stretch his legs out in front of him and take a moment to fully take in his surroundings. It was a pretty standard arena, center stage with a catwalk down the middle that led to another small stage in the middle of the floor. Surrounding the floor were rows of seats that led up to impossible heights. It wasn’t large but it also wasn’t small. For the band to sell out this many seats was mind-boggling to Mark in his professional opinion.

While he was waiting for something to happen, Mark pulled out his phone again, opening his notes from before. He scrolled through idly, refreshing himself despite having memorized almost everything publicly available about the group. He knew everyone’s birthdays, their backgrounds, their favorite songs, their favorite colors, what inspired them, how they handled stress, that they were all “single”, and he could probably even tell you their favorite meal if he racked his brain hard enough. It wasn’t an obsession, it was his job. If he was going to write some stellar interview, he needed to dig deep. He needed to ask more than just something he could have pulled from another interview. So he did his research. He stayed up late some nights watching their Korean interviews. Lucky for Mark that he was fluent, something he was sure he had a leg up on. How many American journalists were fluent in Korean? He would imagine not very many.

While grazing over his notes, the robotic voice from before returned. “Ready for Ten.” Mark turned his head, turns out the robotic voice was actually Kun. Before he could turn around, the lights in his peripheral turned blue. By the time he fully turned his head, a man dressed in black athletic wear topped with a short cut of black hair was center middle stage. He was small, with a body that screamed dancer. His head bowed, already in a stance as if he was ready to jump and fly at any moment. Like the only thing holding him down was sheer willpower. You didn’t need to see his face to know that this man was beautiful. This, this was Ten.

* * *

"Mark, stop jacking off and get out here. We’re going to be late.”

Since Johnny had a car and a license, he would sometimes offer to take Mark to work. It was on the way for Johnny since he worked downtown and Mark worked in a business park that was a couple exits off the interstate before you got into the city. However, it wasn’t often that their schedules lined up where Mark could ride with his roommate. Mark had the leisure of showing up to work later in the day since he only had to work within his own deadlines. Johnny did not have that same leisure. He would go to work early, unbelievably early, in order to beat the rush hour traffic. In the summers, he would be lucky if he even saw the sun before he got to work. Today was a rare day that Johnny got to go into work late, something about a special guest coming in later in the day.

“I am NOT jacking off, Johnny. I like my long showers, thank you.”

It was true, Mark liked the feeling of the almost scorching hot water running off his back as he got ready for the day. It was therapeutic and helped clear his mind to prepare for whatever brain power he needed to use that day. It was only a couple weeks after Taemin had asked him to do the 4infinity article and he’s been in a deep, drastically deep, hole. Sure, he liked the band before hand and knew the basics, what most fans knew. Now though, it was his job, and Mark took his job seriously. He’d been churning through video after video, article after article. He needed this shower and he wasn’t going to let Johnny ruin his relaxation.

“I’ll be out in like 5 minutes dude. Chill.’

“Don’t ‘chill’ me Mark Lee. I’m offering a free service, you should be grateful.” Mark could practically hear Johnny’s arms crossing from inside the shower.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mark grumbled.

He finished up his shower and got dressed. Johnny was sitting in the living room waiting, typing away on his laptop. Without even looking up, he closed the laptop and slid it into its bag, stood up, and walked out the door without a word or glance to Mark.

* * *

SM Magazine was settled at the back of a conglomerate of buildings. Each building holding some other different company, a law firm here, a tech company there. The building itself was plain, non-distinct and the inside more or less matched. It wasn’t a large building, Taemin didn’t hire many people. A hall lined with cubicles on either side, an office sprinkled throughout with a kitchen at one end and a conference room on the other end. In the middle was Taemin’s office, usually with the door closed. Today, the door was open and Mark had to walk past to get to his desk.

“Mark!” A shout coming from the open office door.

“Yes, Mr. Lee?” Mark stopped in his tracks, taking 2 steps back to stand in front of Taemin’s door.

“How’s the article going?” Taemin sat at his desk, looking up from his computer. He smiled, and it was contagious.

“It’s going good, been doing a lot of research.” Mark hummed.

“Good, let me know if you need any help or if it gets too much. Can’t have our bright young star breaking down so early in the game.” Taemin returned his gaze back to his computer, dismissing Mark.

Mark walked to his cubicle, sat down, and resumed the mass consumption of all things 4infinity. He was familiar enough with all of them at this point. Taeyong, leader and rapper, actually started as a producer. He made songs for SPR Music sometimes and that’s when they recruited him for this new group after Taeyong turned them down a few times. Seems that persistence will get you anywhere, that or a promise of a fat paycheck. To be determined. Although Taeyong was the leader, he was not the oldest. That was Kim Jongin, better known as Kai. Unlike the rest of the members, he was the only one who did not come from a different background. He joined the company at a young age, wanting to be a performer from the beginning. Not much was public about him, other than that he was training within the company since he was a teenager and loved to dance. While he was an excellent dancer, the best dancer of the group would have to be Ten. Born and raised to be a dancer, he knew nothing else. Ten was classically trained, going to a performing arts school since he was able to walk. A passion burned through him like dousing a bonfire in gasoline and it was very evident when he was performing. The wild card with 4inifinty would have to be the youngest member, Wong Yukhei. Better known as world renowned model Lucas. No one was quite sure why he was recruited since he had no experience in music aside from a couple of drunk karaoke nights that would be plastered all over social media either by him or his friends. He also probably had the most public life out of the group, making him the easiest to write about.

Mark got to work, organizing his notes into something that would eventually resemble an outline for his article. Currently, he was working through each member. He would pick a member, do as much Googling as he could stand, and take notes. Last week was all about Taeyong. Where he was born, what songs he wrote before, about his love for animals, how he wanted to work with animals before realizing he was good with music, and how his shoulders scrunch up when he’s uncomfortable or the way his eyes light up when he’s talking about his pet dog, Ruby. This week, he moved on to Ten. He was actually Thai and not Korean, which made it a little more difficult for Mark to do his research as most of everything was in Thai. Luckily, his dancing did most of the talking for him. There were plenty of videos of him dancing throughout the years and that was enough to captivate Mark for the rest of the work day.

* * *

Mark blinked, taking in the site before him. Before he could even process what was happening, Ten was floating across the stage while music played. No lyrics, just simple music that was only there to guide you through the experience. Not that it mattered, the only thing you could pay attention to were the ornate movements Ten made on stage, everything else ceased to exist while he was on stage. Then it ended, at some point Mark’s mouth formed a small o while staring up at the stage. Then, he spoke.

“Stage is fine, I’m good.” he spoke into the microphone hooked around his ear. He mid turn before he did a double take to where Mark was sitting. Mark froze, he was not ready for any sort of interaction. Ten must have sensed the panic and just waved at Mark while walking back to the main stage. Everything was happening in such rapid succession that Mark had hardly any time to process when Kun spoke again.

“Let’s bring everyone out then.”

It was happening, and it was happening quickly. Ten had already reached the main stage while the rest of the group emerged from backstage. Taeyong stood next to Ten while Lucas and Kai shoved each other as they walked to stand next to Taeyong. After laughing and Taeyong swatting at them to get them to calm down, they eventually all stood in a line. This was it, this was 4infinity in all their beautiful glory. Mark wasn’t sure who to focus on, scanning each of them, eyes fleeting from member to member. Deciding to play it safe, he wound up watching Taeyong go through the motions of making sure the members were in their right positions and making sure their mics worked. It was a lot like making sure all of your kids were dressed and fed with their bags packed before sending them off to school. Lucas’ giant hands would fumble with his mic back sitting in his back pocket and Taeyong would just slide behind him and situate it properly. Ten would say something to Kai, making Kai laugh which would make Lucas pout like he was missing out on some hilarious joke. Taeyong would see the pout and ruffle Lucas’ floppy hair, yet to be gelled into place. They really were like a family and Taeyong was the parent running around making sure all his kids were healthy and happy. A smile crept onto Mark’s face without him realizing. Taeyong looked over at just the right moment to catch the smile, making Taeyong laugh to himself. Mark wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t have his eyes glued onto the man. Warmth spread through his chest for some unknown reason. Weird.

“OK mic check, mic check. I think we’re ready to run through some songs Kun.” Taeyong spoke, looking past Mark and to the sound booth. A couple seconds passed before a bass heavy song started to fill the air. It vibrated Mark’s entire being, a welcome stimulation to distract himself from his heart that had started hammering in his chest. Soon, his heart started to pump with the beat of the song, his feat tapping in rhythm soon after. Even though this was a rehearsal, the group took it as seriously as they would if all the seats were filled.

Finally ripping his eyes from the leader, Mark found himself back to flicking through the members. They all had such vastly different stage personas, each giving something a little different to the performance. Lucas, in his Adidas tracksuit, was so long and lean that it almost looked like he didn’t know what he was doing with his limbs. It was endearing. He would dance perfectly but it was as if his legs were 2 seconds behind his brain, but you wouldn’t notice unless you were analyzing his every move. Not that it stopped him, he gave his all regardless and gave it with a big, goofy smile. It was infectious, much like his laughter. Lucas would stride across stage in only a few steps whereas Ten would have to take multiple. Despite needing so many steps, he made it look effortless, as if he was skating across the stage. Eventually, Mark found his attention on Kai. Where Lucas was lean, Kai was broad. He was dressed in a white shirt and basketball shorts, his tan, toned legs flexing with every step. He knew how to command the stage, a force to be reckoned with when he was front and center. Every movement was sharp and precise, always accompanied by a carefully mastered expression. All eyes were on Kai when it was his time to shine, which was difficult to do when the entire group was just as captivating. Much like second nature at this point, Mark’s eyes found their way to Taeyong.

Mark stopped breathing when he found that Taeyong’s eyes were returning the look. Even as he sang and danced, his eyes never left Mark. The stare was unlike the way he looked at him in the store earlier, where it was casual, interrupted with glances at other things. Now, it made Mark squirm, like he was being analyzed. Luckily it was dark because Mark was sure that his entire face would have been red if the lights were on. It was just because he was performing, right? An act that Taeyong was putting on to make the show more enjoyable. It was an act that was being put on to give people their money’s worth and meant absolutely nothing. It just happened that Mark was the only person in the arena to be on the receiving end of that stare. Before Mark had a chance to look away, the music stopped and the song was over. Taeyong was back to attending to his members, going over any minor changes they may have needed before moving on to the next song. Mark quickly typed into his notes before the next song began, never returning his eyes to Taeyong’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about those Neo Zone images????? You can find me dead in a ditch if you need me.


	5. Lucky One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark goes to lunch

It was amazing how quiet the arena was when it was empty and no music was ripping through the open air. With no bass to rattle the walls and screaming fans to make your ears ring, it was actually kind of pleasant. It wasn’t long though before the silence was filled with laughter. Mark looked up from his notes to find that Lucas had his head thrown completely back, mouth wide open with laughter. It was amazing he didn’t break his neck, Mark thought. Much like the man himself, everything Lucas did was large, including his laugh. The group had long discarded their mic packs, just standing around while their crew messed with the lighting. Even without their microphones on, Mark could hear Lucas’ loud laugh followed by clapping from where he was sitting. It wasn’t long after until the rest of the members followed suite. The only one who wasn’t laughing was Taeyong. Lucas quickly wrapped his (huge) hands around Taeyong’s shoulder, saying something Mark couldn’t make out. Taeyong said something back and then all 4 members were looking at Mark. It was too late to look away, so Mark offered the saddest attempt at a smile he could muster. This only incited more laughter, Taeyong offering a smile in return.

Baekhyun came out from the side of the stage and the members all looked in his direction and quickly huddled around him. Then they were all following him off stage except for Taeyong who was walking towards Mark. Taeyong was walking towards Mark. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Mark fumbled with his phone, frantically finishing up whatever note he was writing and slid his phone in his front pocket. He stood up quickly as Taeyong was walking the last few feet to stand in front of him. Playing it safe, Mark decided to just not say anything. He can’t fuck it up if he doesn’t say anything, or so he thinks.

“We’re going to lunch and you’re invited.” Taeyong smiled sheepishly. Then adding quickly “but you don’t have to come.”

Mark pretended to take a second to think about his response and calmly responded with an “Okay” when inside he was screaming “yes, yes, yes.” Somehow Mark went from needing new clothes to being invited to lunch with talented (and hot) celebrities. Seriously, he needs to thank Johnny. Maybe a nice dinner out will suffice as he recounts this night to him.

“I was right about the necklace. It does look nice with the outfit.” Taeyong nodded at Mark generally. Mark’s hand shot up to his chest where he rubbed the smooth piece of metal laying on his chest.

“You were right, thanks.” Mark hummed and followed Taeyong out of the arena and into the halls. Nothing else was said between the pair as they walked back downstairs to the room that Taeyong had disappeared into earlier. The once crowded hallway was not empty and the only sound was coming from the room. At first Mark couldn’t make out what was being said but the closer they got to the open door, the more he could hear.

“...but was it really necessary?” The voice wasn’t loud enough to decipher who was speaking.

“I didn’t realize it would make him upset.” This voice was much louder and much deeper, very clearly Lucas.

“Well don’t say anything stupid when they come back.” Ten’s voice was easy to pick out, his accent was noticeable whatever language he was speaking. If Taeyong heard then, he didn’t make a move to show he did. “Where are they an-oh speak of the devil.” The pair walked in as Ten spoke. The room was simple to say the least. Or, at least, it waned in comparison to the group that stood waiting to leave. You could ask Mark about what color the couch was in the room and he would probably respond with “What couch?”

“Ready?” Taeyong said straight faced. Something changed and Mark couldn’t put his finger on it. Earlier, Taeyong was all grins and laughing. Now, Taeyong was back to his all stoic, serious mask he put on for the public. Did Mark do something wrong? Mark didn’t let the thought linger, he was there to work, not worry about his standing with Taeyong.

“Finally, I’m starving. Let’s go.” Lucas stood up from the couch that was facing the door. (It was black leather, Mark might add. Same as the one from upstairs.) A couple strides of his stupidly long legs placed him next to Mark, where he quickly spun the significantly smaller man and pushed him out the door. Mark didn’t have much time to process what was even happening before he was being physically pushed down the hallway by Lucas, while the rest of them followed closely behind. No one made an attempt to stop him or say anything. Mark was as helpless as he felt.

Once he saw that Mark was walking on his own accord, Lucas stopped pushing and opted to walk next to him with his arms slung around his shoulders. Mark quickly learned that Lucas did not know the concept of personal space.

“I’m Lucas.” The biggest smile was plastered across his face as he looked down.

“I know. I’m Mark.” Mark nodded his head and then immediately regretted even opening his mouth. I know? Seriously?

“Hi Mark, I hope you like burgers.” It was a wonder anyone was able to exist in the same room as Lucas. He was so painfully attractive, it knocked the wind out of you just looking at him. Here he was, talking about In-N-Out with his arm still gripping Mark, and Mark was barely able to keep his heart in his chest. It was impossible to not stare, but Lucas didn’t seem to be paying attention to where Mark was looking, so he stared anyways. His floppy golden brown hair hung in front of his eyes, which lit up as he started going on about how “you can get something called a four by four if you’re really hungry.” If Lucas had a tail, he would probably have wagged himself into orbit.

“Lucas, baby, give him some space.” Ten had appeared on the opposite side of Lucas, grabbing his free arm and peeling him off of Mark. A literal weight was lifted off Mark’s shoulders and he rolled them back in relief. He didn’t realize he was hunching with the weight until it was gone.

“I’m so sorry about this one, he really likes meeting new people. I’m Ten and you’re Mark, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you.” Mark bowed his head, Ten smiling in reply. Lucas has fallen back behind Ten and Mark, leaving them walking side by side with a few feet between them. Unsure of how to proceed in this situation, Mark decided to play it safe and continue the conversation more casually. “I’m sure you hear this a lot but you really are a great dancer.”

“Thank you, you can never hear it too much.” They had finally reached the door that led outside, and Ten walked in front to hold the door open for the group to walk through. The sun was finally high in the sky and casting warm rays down onto the concrete and asphalt. Mark stopped and tilted his head up to bask in the sunlight while the rest of them exited the building. It relaxed him and gave him time to not think about the probable shit show that was about to be lunch. Watching them perform was easy, he didn't need to use brain power for that. Having a conversation with the group with their manager keeping eye was a different story. So he took this quick moment to prepare himself, however short that moment may be. It was going to be fine, he was going to be fine. It’s not like he was going to be their friend or anything, they were important people. They had huge lives with watching eyes on them at all times. Mark was no one in comparison to them. He was just there to give them publicity, that was his job. So why was he so worried about making an impression on them? Why did he find himself flushing every time he caught Taeyong’s eyes? Why did he feel relaxed when Lucas laughed?

“Alright, get in the van kiddos.” Baekhyun was the last to file out of the building. A black minibus sat idling with the side doors open waiting for the crew. Ten was first followed by the quiet Kai and not-so-quiet Lucas who all shuffled to the back of the bus. Mark was pushed by Baekhyun into the bus, followed by Taeyong who apologized the entire time climbing into his seat. Baekhyun took the front passenger seat while the three in the back argued about whether to get a milkshake or not. It was odd how comfortable they all were with a complete stranger in their presence. It was as if he was a fly on the wall. There are people who would kill to be in this situation and the most Mark could do was say “Thank you for inviting me.” His brain was turning to goo every minute he was within feet of Taeyong, which was not helping him come up with anything else to say.

“You don’t need to feel uncomfortable around us. We’re pretty normal so you can speak freely.” Taeyong must have been a mind reader, Mark was sure of it.

“Easier said than done.” Mark laughed shyly, turning in his seat to finally face Taeyong. He was right, they’re just normal people who just happened to be super talented and super pretty. It’s fine, Mark was going to be fine.

“So have you been writing long? From what you told me earlier, it sounded like you just started recently.”

“A couple months now. I graduated college back in May and was writing for SM about a month before I graduated. This is my second time actually getting to interact with the artist I’m writing about.”

“You must be good at what you do then, or Taemin is playing favorites.” Baekhyun had turned around in his seat, interjecting himself into the conversation with a sly smile on his face.

“Not to sound smug but I did get offered a position with Rolling Stone. I turned them down though, I don’t want to work for some big corporate shell of a magazine.” Mark purposely left out the part where Johnny was the one to put in the phone call that made them offer the position. Baekhyun humphed at that and turned back around in his seat. The back seat got quiet when they noticed Baekhyun had interjected and now Mark had four pairs of eyes staring at him. “I like what I do and would like to not have to fit in some mold they want their writers to squeeze into.” Mark added quietly looking down at his lap.

Taeyong was quick to speak up when he noticed Mark’s mood had gone sour. “I get it. I was getting emails daily from different music companies trying to buy me and my music. You don’t want your work to turn into something that’s just churned out for mass consumption. It’s an art and it should be enjoyed as such.” Mark looked up in shock at Taeyong. “SPR knew what I wanted and that’s how I ended up working for them. Be sure to write that down.” Taeyong added with a laugh. His laugh made Mark’s goo brain do weird things. Mark mustered a laugh in return and pulled out his phone to write.

“Why do you like to write?” Kai asked from behind Mark. Ten and Lucas were talking in hushed whispers to each other, Ten’s hands clamping on Lucas’ thigh, leaving Kai out of the loop. Kai used Mark’s seat to pull himself forward so his head was sticking into the aisle next to Mark’s seat. Did no one in this group know what personal space was?

“Ummm, I guess it’s like an escape? No wait. It’s kind of therapeutic. I get to just zone out and do my thing. It’s hard to explain. Why do you like to perform?” Mark retorted. He was never asked why he liked to write, it was just something he was good at and no one questioned it. Not even Johnny thought to ask why this was what he wanted to do. Johnny just seemed to know that when Mark wrote, he was nowhere to be found. You would have to physically pry him away from his desk to get him to stop working on something when he was in the groove. Johnny learned that quickly and knew when not to intervene. There were times where Mark wouldn’t eat because he was so focused so his loving roommate would slip food next to him on his desk on those nights where he didn’t see anything outside his bedroom.

“It feels like something I was born to do. It’s second nature and being able to be on stage fulfills something in me that has always needed to be fulfilled. It’s like breathing.” Well that was poetic. Mark’s answer seemed dull in comparison but he wasn’t a world class performer with hundreds of thousands of fans. Taeyong was next to speak.

“Same for me. If I’m not making music I’m losing my mind. Music is my life and I am fortunate enough to be able to share it with the world.”

After some more back and forth between the three of them about music and dancing and writing, they slowly pulled to a stop in the back of a half full parking lot of a shopping center. The mumbling pair that was Ten and Lucas finally quieted down, slowly disentangling their arms. They all exited the bus and made their way to their destination, the coveted In-N-Out.

Something Mark did not take into consideration when accepting Taeyong’s offer was the fact that they had stalkers, to put it lightly. He knew watching eyes and cameras were inevitable but when they had sat down outside with their food (and milkshakes, Lucas wouldn’t stop whining) he was not expecting people to just stand from afar and watch. There were even a few brave souls who attempted to approach that Baekhyun quickly pushed away. Mark was filled with guilt as he realized that he was intruding on their personal lives. How was he any different than the hooded men with cameras taking pictures as they shoved fries into their mouths? He did receive an invite, but that was probably out of obligation or pity than anything else. To the group, he was just another nobody trying to make a quick buck from their fame like the paparazzi trying to shill their photos. Mark ate in silence as the rest started discussing what they wanted to do with their day off tomorrow.

“Mark, what’s fun here?” Lucas sipped his milkshake waiting for a response. Mark finally looked up from his food and noticed that the four members were all staring at him.

“Oh uhh, do you like art? There’s this famous art museum in the city that me and my roommate go to whenever there’s a new exhibit.”

“Tennie loves art. We’ll have to go.” Taeyong cooed while reaching over to pinch Ten’s cheek. Ten scrunched his face but accepted the affection nonetheless. “Baekhyun, can you sort that out for us?” Baekhyun looked over from the other table he was sitting at. He was joined by 3 other men dressed in all black that appeared minutes after they had approached the restaurant. Mark imagined these were bodyguards, seeing as how the crowd of people that had surrounded them earlier had dissipated.

“Sure, just remember we fly out early the next day. Jongin, can you come here for a minute?” Kai had long finished his food so he grabbed his drink and joined the manager at the adjacent table.

“Thank you again for inviting me.” Mark said quietly as Ten and Lucas got up to throw their trash away.

“Don’t worry about it. It gets tiring seeing those three all day every day anyways. Plus you were honest from the get go and I like honesty.” Taeyong called Mark honest. Taeyong likes honesty. Mark blinked as he let the thought sit. Lucas and Ten returned to silence and a clear table. They looked at Mark and Taeyong and then at each other and snickered to themselves.

Baekhyun stood up from his seat and announced it was time to leave. They made their way back to their gleaming carriage that drove them back to the arena. All things considered, it really wasn’t a shit show like Mark had imagined it would be. If anything, it was like he wasn’t even there. They were all so comfortable and casual around him that he didn’t feel the glaring need to fill the silence with whatever bullshit he could come up with. In the right state of mind, Mark would have questioned why they were being so casual around him but his brain had yet to solidify.

Mark checked the time as they pulled up to the private entrance, 2:54pm. The doors weren’t meant to open until 6:00, an hour before the show was supposed to start. That meant Mark had nearly three hours to kill before he could finally escape to the comfort of anonymity in the crowd. Until then, he was back to watching the group rehearse their choreography while trying not to acknowledge the holes Taeyong was burning into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just about reached the point where I don't know where this is going anymore. I haven't thought this far ahead so bear with me. :*


	6. WANT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark has essentially spent all day with 4infinity but still can't handle Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW sorry this took so long. This ended up being longer than anticipated and went in a completely different direction that I had planned originally. 
> 
> I also realized I fucked up and called Kun Taeil in couple lines in previous chapters. OOPS, the sound engineer is Kun NOT Taeil. 
> 
> This is barely edited so I'm sorry if things flow weird.

Despite being in the arena for hours just watching the group perform mundane tasks and random parts of their songs, Mark was not bored. One would imagine that sitting in one spot doing what was supposed to be your job would be the definition of boring. Somehow, Mark was not bored. Somewhere in the middle of all of it, he had stopped typing into his phone and rather opted to just watch. Letting the sounds and lights wash over him as he sat back, entranced by the performers. It was no longer work but entertainment. This wasn’t even the actual show and Mark found himself all eyes on the group. There was even a point where the members had to go off stage for something and Mark found himself chatting up Kun in the sound booth. Kun was the audio technician for the group and has been traveling with them since the beginning of the tour. It was interesting getting to hear about the concert through the person who has such a trained ear and nows the show like the back of his hand at this point. Interesting insight that Mark was sure to write down later when he got back to his seat. 

About a half hour or so before doors were meant to open, 4infinty wrapped up their rehearsal. Baekhyun had walked on stage, talking to Taeyong about whatever needed to be talked about while the rest of the members walked back off stage. After avoiding Taeyong for so long, Mark finally kept his gaze on Taeyong as he gesticulated to Baekhyun. It was easier to watch him when his attention was elsewhere and Mark didn't have to fear being caught. 

Watching Taeyong was like breathing air, it came naturally. Everything he did was so very intentional and sharp without even putting in effort. Every movement, every sound, was so very perfect. On stage, he was a beautiful beast who owned the stage. Loud, large, and ferocious. It was easy to feel small when he was on stage and Mark didn’t mind. Mark would let Taeyong swallow him whole if that meant he got to look at him for a second longer.

Then Taeyong was looking at him and Mark was being consumed. The walls started to shrink around him and he felt that he was curling into himself. Taeyong was smiling, bright and warm. Then Taeyong was walking, like he didn’t see the walls so uncomfortably close to Mark, suffocating him. Like he didn’t see Mark trying to claw his way out, to save himself from dying. Taeyong was off stage and closing the gap between them. As soon as he was in hearing distance, he spoke and the walls opened up. He was back in the arena, all lights on and blinding. Or was that Taeyong’s smile?

“I guess it’s time to part ways for now.” Taeyong spoke as if nothing happened. As if Mark wasn’t just on death’s doorstep. 

“Oh uhhh, I guess it is?” Mark asked more than said. He was still trying to swallow his heart that had thumped it’s way into Mark’s throat. He was fine, everything was fine. It was just Mark’s nerves, unable to cope with Taeyong’s presence. Something had changed, or else why would Mark be going into a near debilitating panic attack now but not before in the store? Mark didn’t dwell on it long, afraid the work he put in trying to get his heart back in his chest would go to waste. He stood up and waited for Taeyong to speak.

“You have your press pass right? You can stay here or go out, up to you. I have to go backstage and get ready. I’ll see you after the show, right? Or did we bore you to death already?” Taeyong tried to laugh but ended up coughing, looking at his feet. Taeyong almost seemed shy, or maybe Mark was imagining it to calm his mind. 

“Not bored, nonono!” Mark said, his arms matching the franticness of his speech. “I do need to use the bathroom though, so I guess I’ll have to find my way out.” Taeyong looked up at that and Mark genuinely smiled. It was becoming easier to manage his nerves around the older. It seems hours of being in the same room as someone will desensitize you; even if it wasn’t a drastic change, it was a change nonetheless.

“Then I guess I’ll see you after the show, Mark.” Taeyong said but there was something in his voice, something that Mark couldn’t pinpoint. Maybe it was suggestive or maybe just playful. Were they really on a first name basis now? Did Mark even give his last name to begin with? What has Mark even done right at this point? 

“I look forward to it.” Mark meant it. This article was going to be big, he could feel it in his bones. And maybe he was getting used to Taeyong flashing a smile at him. Maybe he was getting used to talking to Taeyong so casually, like he wasn't there to write some article that dozens of other writers were writing. The walls still sat at the edge of his perphirary, threatening to close in when Mark wasn’t expecting it. But Mark could deal, there was no reason to be so anxious around someone he was there to write about. His school boy crush was just that. Taeyong would leave the city and move on to a different venue with different fans and continue on with his life of fame. And Mark would stay here, in this town in his apartment with his roommate writing and researching, just a blip on Taeyong's timeline. Another face in a crowd, another writer trying to get their paycheck.

"If you want, I can have a staff come get you before the show is up to meet us backstage before the rest of the press come. There will be food and I'm sure you won't have time to eat. I feel bad." Taeyong kicked the non-existent dirt on the floor. To be honest, Mark forgot about dinner.

"I don't want to impose anymore that I already have, seriously you've done more than enough already."

"You wouldn't be imposing, I actually like the company and I'm sure the guys would too." Mark flushed and there was no chance at hiding it with all the house lights on. Better to just say yes and be done with the conversation before Mark says something embarrassing. Not like it could really get much worse.

“Okay… Yeah, if you really say so.” As Mark was answering, Baekhyun appeared at the front of the stage and shouted.

“Taeyong, stop flirting and come on. You need to get into hair and makeup.” Mark blinked, mouth open. Taeyong turned around but not quick enough to hide the blazing red that covered his cheeks and ears. 

“OK BAEKHYUN.” Taeyong shouted back, obviously embarrassed. At least Mark wasn’t the only one feeling awkward. Taeyong turned back around, ears and cheeks still dusted with pink.

“Well, time to go. I’ll see you after, okay?” Taeyong’s smile was infectious, Mark couldn’t help but smile back. Both men were now all pink and warm faces and for once, Mark was okay. It was different knowing the other was also distressed. Taeyong bowed, which Mark returned, and then walked back to the stage to leave Mark alone. Mark ran his hands down his front, smoothing non-existent wrinkles, turned and finally left the arena. Mark really did need to go to the bathroom.

* * *

  
  


After hours of watching rehearsal, the concert was still completely unexpected. Mark had seen them go through the motions of the concert from beginning to end to middle to beginning to end again and still was not prepared for what the show entailed. To watch the four artists go on stage and captivate an audience full of thousands of fans was more than just mere entertainment. It was an experience from the very beginning until assumedly the end. Mark wouldn’t know about the latter as a simple woman dressed in all back holding a clipboard and talking into an earpiece approached Mark and swept him away from his seat in the press box behind the sound booth. He didn’t have much time to exactly process what was happening as he was being ushered through the crowded hallways he was in earlier where he got changed. Next thing he knows he’s in a near empty room with only a couple of the same black couches that seem to litter the venue. Mark was left to his own devices once the staff member left after saying nothing to him the entire walk back. Sitting on one of the couches, Mark listened to the final notes of the last song. Then cheering and yelling erupted louder than the music. Show must be over.

Minutes passed as Mark sat on the couch lazily swiping through his phone. He had already finished up his final thoughts in his report on the show so it was onto the social media train. Instagram up first where he posted a photo of the stage during the concert with a lackluster caption of “4infinity.” A couple likes came through since he posted it, including one from Johnny. Johnny liked everything that Mark posted. Before Mark could open up some other inane app of his phone, the door busted open. It was like some scene out of a comedy, the door flung open and then a bunch of bustling men laughing and talking crowded through the door. It was loud and rambunctious and of course Lucas was at the center of it all. The huddle of men seemed to fill the room like water, not aware of the fact that Mark was sitting there slack jawed watching everything unfold. 

“That never gets old.” Lucas was clinging on to Ten like he was drowning. Ten embraced it fully even though Lucas was almost toppling the pair over with his weight. If Mark didn’t know any better, he would say Ten was actually cooing to Lucas like a dove. Kai and Taeyong were in some sort of deep conversation with their heads bowed as they inched behind the pair of doves. Then Taeyong erupted with laughter causing him to lift his head up and finally notice Mark sitting across from them. A hand shot up to cover Taeyong’s mouth and he quickly turned to look at Kai. Taeyong had stopped laughing abruptly, causing everyone’s focus to turn on him. Silence filled the room and Lucas pulled his weight off Ten but still staying attached. Ok, awkward.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude. I was just kinda left here on my own.” Mark said meekly. 

“No need to apologize, we just get a little excited when we finish shows. Means we can finally eat, I’m starving. Where’s Baekhyun?” Kai stepped forward and sat on a couch adjacent to where Mark was sitting. Lucas plopped next to him and propped his feet up on the coffee table in the center of the room. With both of their enormous frames, they took up the entire couch leaving Ten to sit on the couch on the other side of Mark, directly opposite of Kai and Lucas. 

“He should be here soon. Well at least he better be, interview starts in 20 minutes.” Ten sat and swung his legs over the rest of the couch, melting like butter into it. That left Taeyong standing, looking at the empty seat next to Mark. Before Taeyong could make a move to sit next to Mark, Baekhyun walked in carrying 3 boxes of pizza. 

“Pizza anyone?” Baekhyun plopped the boxes onto the coffee table, standing next to Taeyong as they watched Lucas and Kai dive for the pizza.

“You would think we don’t feed them.” Taeyong whispered as he finally made his way to fill the seat next to Mark. Noticing this, Mark quickly shrunk his stance taking as little space as possible on the couch. After shoving an entire slice of pizza into his mouth in a matter of seconds, Lucas grabbed another slice while Kai continued to munch on his first. Ten rolled over on his side and reached out to grab a slice for himself, remaining laid out on the couch. Baekhyun had taken the chance to sit on the floor and grab a slice for himself while Taeyong grabbed a box and slid it closer to Mark and himself. 

“You’re hungry, right? Eat.” Taeyong opened the box and offered it to Mark.

“Mm, thanks.” Mark grabbed what was a plain slice of cheese pizza, gooey and greasy, and nibbled on it politely. Taeyong grabbed himself a piece and then it was quiet save for the sounds of chewing.

“What did you think of the show Mark?” Lucas asked, mid chew. Was he on his third slice already? 

“Xuxi, swallow your food.” Ten quipped, and Lucas promptly swallowed his food. 

“It was really good. You guys put on a great show and I’m not just saying that because you’re all staring at me right now.” A nervous laugh worked its way out of Mark’s chest. As soon as Lucas had asked the question, they all turned to look as Mark for an answer. Lucky for Mark that he was finally getting used to the stares after spending what was basically the whole day with the group. Practice makes perfect.

“Are you going to write a raving review then?” Lucas had finished off his third slice of pizza and looked at Mark with bright shiny eyes. Lucas seeped pure innocence in person, a stark contrast to when he performed on stage. On stage he was hot. There was no other way to describe it, he radiated confidence and moved his bodies in ways that were overtly sexual. Lucas was hot and there was no questioning it. In person though, he was a puppy. He had heard people on the internet compare him to a dog before but he wasn’t sure where they got that notion from. Now, with the puppy in question batting his eyelashes at him, he finally understood. All Mark could imagine was reaching his hand over and running his fingers through Lucas’ golden hair. 

“Oh yea, definitely.” Lucas beamed at the response and went in for his fourth slice of pizza. How was this man able to eat so much and still be so freakishly fit? While Mark was talking to Lucas about whatever came to the man’s head (seemingly without filter), Baekhyun had scooted over to Ten and were having a conversation of their own. Taeyong and Kai had been focused on their food and trying to keep Lucas from saying something that shouldn’t be said. Eventually Kai got fed up with trying to keep Lucas’ mouth shut and took him out of the room saying something along the lines of “I really want to get out of these disgusting pants.”

“Sorry about Lucas, he gets really excited talking to new people. He’s friendly to a fault sometimes.” Taeyong had turned in his seat to look at Mark, pulling his legs up to sit cross legged, back against the armrest. “Thank you for coming. I’m sure you’re ready to go home by this point.”

“I was just thinking about that earlier actually. I’ve been here for hours but it doesn’t feel like it. I guess you guys are just really good at your job.”

“Guess so…” Taeyong rubbed his knees, silence sweeping over the two. Ten and Baekhyun were still having an adamant conversation about who knows what. They weren’t speaking loud enough to make anything out so they sort of became background noise.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Taeyong stopped rubbing his knees and placed his hands in his lap.

“Uhm, sure?”

“Why did you say yes?” Oh. This is not a question Mark was prepared to answer.

“Yes to what?” Mark decided to play dumb. When in doubt, pretend you don’t understand.

“To coming with me. You could have done literally anything else.”

See, Mark didn’t think there was another option. When someone you look up to and admire asks you to essentially hang out with them, is no even an option? Sure, he _could_ have said no. Mark could have easily left the store, hopped on the bus back home, gotten dressed, and gone to the concert like every other person. Mark could have lived his life not knowing that Taeyong has an infectious laugh and that when he smiles, it makes your heart race. That he was even more beautiful in person, to a point where it was almost painful. Wait, no Mark was there to work. Mark loved his job and loved to write and Taeyong had simply presented him with the perfect opportunity. How could he have said no to getting to know the inner workings of this notorious tour? This had nothing to do with the way Taeyong looked when his thick hair was perfectly slicked up, neat and coiffed. Or how entranced Mark was when Taeyong was flicking through the racks of jewelry. 

Mark must have been staring because Taeyong squirmed in his seat, straightening his back.

“Saying no would have been boring, right? It’s not like people are just getting invited to this kind of stuff all the time, is it? I’m an opportunist.” Mark technically told the truth, just leaving out the bits about the heart palpitations he got every time Taeyong smiled at him like now. God, does Taeyong even realize that he’s going to give Mark an actual heart attack before he even turns 25?

“Makes sense. You’re braver than me, I would have said no and ran away I think.”

“Then can I ask why you invited me to begin with?” Taeyong stilled, looking at Mark. He furrowed his eyebrows, sucking his lips into his mouth. Taeyong was very obviously thinking about the answer to this. He would open his mouth to say something but then look over towards Baekhyun and shut his mouth. Finally, Taeyong leaned across the space on the couch between them, propping his weight on his arms.

“Honestly, when I saw you come out in this outfit, I had to talk to you.” Taeyong whispered, his breath barely reaching Mark’s face. The loaded words were said so easily and so casually that Mark had to process what exactly Taeyong was saying. Mark’s breath hitched and Taeyong leaned back against the armrest again, clearing his throat. “It was just convenient that I could offer you something that would help me with that.”

“I- uh, uhm, wow, okay.” Mark stuttered, unsure of how to respond. How does someone even respond to that? Taeyong had essentially admitted to actively seeking Mark out just to talk to him. To Mark Lee, an essential nobody in comparison to the other. Okay was probably the best Mark could hope for at this point. Then, by some miracle, Lucas came back into the room with Kai following behind, saving Mark from his meltdown. 

“They said they’re ready for us.” Kai said and everyone stood up, Ten taking the longest possible time rolling and stretching to get off the couch. Mark tried to stand as far away as possible from Taeyong without seeming like he was obviously trying to do so. That was to no avail though because Taeyong did notice and looked at Mark with a raised brow as they all made their way to the hallway. Baekhyun was first out the door, followed by Ten and Kai. Lucas was quick to follow, leaving Taeyong and Mark to follow. Taeyong must like to see Mark suffer because he slowed down to walk next to Mark, almost purposefully brushing their arms against each other. 

“Knock them dead, Mark.” Taeyong whispered right into Mark’s ear, only centimeters away from touching. 

“T-thank you.” If it were possible, Mark would have steam coming off of him with how hot his skin had become. No one ahead of them had noticed how far they had fallen back. They were keeping up pace but Mark’s legs had turned stiff, ready to buckle at any moment causing the pair to slow. Mark could see the walls again, ready to close in.

“This is super forward but can I see you again tomorrow? Maybe for breakfast before we leave for the museum? There’s this coffee place attached to our hotel that has excellent breakfast.” Mark tripped over his own feet, stumbling forward. His chest was tight and his arm was burning. Wait, why was his arm burning? Mark looked up from the floor to see that Taeyong had caught his arm before he could make a graceful faceplant. Mark stood up but his arm was still inside the older’s grasp. “Are you okay?” 

Finally Taeyong let go after Mark made motions to straighten his clothes out. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” There Mark goes, apologizing again. 

“Is that a no then?” An actual pout formed on Taeyong’s face. A true, honest to god pout, like he was a child being told he couldn’t get a toy from the store.

“No, I mean yes. Ah wait, sorry. I mean that isn’t a no. I just… I’m not… Yes, breakfast sounds good.” Mark fumbled with his words, panicking and spitting out a yes before he could scare the other away or talk himself out of it. Even though Taeyong had let go of his arm, he could still feel the heat from his touch pulsing from where his hand was. His chest still tight and walls closing in threateningly fast. Breathe, Mark thought to himself. He concentrated on slowing his heart beat, taking deep breaths. 

Noticing how far they had fallen behind, Baekhyun had stopped walking and shouted at the lagging pair to hurry up. Mark taking the excuse to escape the more than awkward situation, walked quickly to catch up with the group. Taeyong was quick to follow once he noticed, catching up in milliseconds. Mark just cannot catch a break with this guy.

“Great, I’ll have someone pick you up. Let me see your phone.” Taeyong held out his hand, making grabbing motions. Mark stared for longer than he should have before retrieving his phone from his pocket, unlocking it, and placing it flat in Taeyong’s hand. Mark watched as Taeyong slid his thin, long fingers across his phone. Seconds later, he handed the phone back and smiled. “I added my number. I’m trusting you won’t sell it or something. I’ll text you tonight for your address and have someone pick you up.”

They had stopped in front of Baekhyun who was a couple feet from a door with bright lights and murmuring. Baekhyun turned to Taeyong and spoke. “Go in, they’re finishing setting up.” Then turning to Mark. “Wait a couple minutes after Taeyong goes in so press don’t get suspicious or come up with some hot gossip.” Baekhyun turned around and entered the door, Taeyong hot on his trail. Before entering the door, Taeyong looked over his shoulder at Mark and winked.

“Talk to you tonight then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, I was ready to make the next chapter r-rated but decided to postpone that since it did't make sense. Another chapter of Mark absolutely panicking, will he ever chill tf out? IDK, what do you think?


	7. FOOL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gains newfound confidence but is still an idiot. He is faced with a tough choice, but he finds the decision comes easier than it should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo boy, the plot is finally moving I think

Journalists all have a common goal aside from the obvious of writing something that people will read. Journalists want to uncover something new, something that will give them the cutting edge. The world is so full of writers that people have to wade through the constant waves of content being shoved into their faces on a daily near hourly basis. Someone who is publicizing their work has hundreds of other similar pieces competing against their own in this content heavy society. Today, Mark was given that special something to help him have the step up over the rest. He was able to walk into the press room with his head light with confidence. The other media professionals that were scattered throughout the room seated or standing didn’t know what Mark now knows. They were setting up their equipment, ready to ask the same mundane questions they asked every character that came across their desk. Some were sitting in provided chairs and a couple were standing with their $5,000 cameras in the front off to the side ready to catch some interaction to drive fans wild. All were facing the front of the room where the four members of infinity sat, looking at Baekhyun who had his back faced to the handful of people in the audience. It seems Taeyong was right, not very many people were there.

Mark, with his newfound confidence, waltzed straight to the front row where most of everyone else was sitting. Taeyong noticed and smiled at him but quickly looked back at Baekhyun. A few people looked in Mark’s directions but not for long and quickly went back to whatever they were doing before. Mark paid no mind, sitting down in the middle of the row of seats and pulled out his phone. He shot a quick text to Johnny telling him the interview was about to start and then opened his notes and began to actually put some meat on his article while he waited.

* * *

“That’s all the time we have left for tonight, thank you for coming. Have a good night.” Baekhyun boomed, no microphone needed as there were less than 20 people in the room and everyone was surprisingly polite the entire meeting. Normally, the artists would leave first in this situation but there was only one door in and out so it was safer for the reporters to leave first, shuffling them all well away from the group and their accommodations. Slowly, they filed out some talking to each other but no one daring a glance at Mark. He was much younger than the rest and he didn’t ask much of anything the entire time so he was obviously the outcast here. That didn’t matter though as he already got the answers he wanted before and he wasn’t going to give them up to the competition. At the end of the day, they were all there to do their job and do it better than the person sitting next to them.

Mark lingered as the last few left and the group must have noticed because they stood up and walked from behind the tables and closer to Mark. He went through the motions of going to leave the room to keep suspicions away, and then he was the only one left in the room aside from the group and their manager and a couple of staff who were packing up the chairs. Mark didn’t even have a chance to turn around before Lucas was hanging on him.

“Thanks for coming, bro. It was nice hanging out.” Mark looked up at the other, nearly craning his neck up due not only to the fact that Lucas was taller but his weight was making Mark hunch.

“Thanks for letting me.” It was easy to be around Lucas, Mark was learning. He didn’t find himself carefully selecting his words or being consumed by body-wracking, anxiety induced shakes. No, that was Taeyong’s job. It was getting easier, which is a strange thing to say since Taeyong literally had no idea who Mark was until today, but regardless it was manageable now.

Kai approached Mark on the other side and put his hand on Mark’s loose black hair. “Take care of our Yongie.” He ruffled the younger’s hair and left towards the door. Mark wasn’t given much time to be embarrassed about Kai’s statement before Ten had replaced his presence. 

“Don’t mind these idiots. Come on Lucas, let’s go.” Ten grabbed Lucas’ hand and pulled him along. Lucas looking over his shoulder back and Mark and shining a big dumb smile back at Mark before saying bye. Baekhyun was next to follow behind, saying bye to Mark but not much else, leaving Taeyong to Mark yet again. It was as if they were all in on some grand scheme to make Mark suffer as much as possible in the shortest amount of time. Perhaps they were all sadists and the musical ensemble was really just a cover up for their weird perverted cult that lured young men to inflict as much embarrassment as possible for their own sexual gratification. Maybe it was just coincidence that they continued to leave Taeyong to his own devices in the presence of Mark and they had no idea the effect the leader had on the writer. 

“So see you tomorrow then?” Taeyong walked next to Mark, standing shoulder to shoulder while they both walked towards the door to leave.

“I guess so.” A nervous laugh bubbled out of Mark as he looked at their feet as they walked. There was no way Taeyong was park of some weird sex cult. Mark was just letting things get to him as usual. Get your shit together Mark, stop being weird.

With his chest puffed and back straight as if being pulled tight by some imaginary puppeteer, Mark walked out the door, turned to face Taeyong to say his farewells. The rest of the group was long gone and the hallway was empty. It was quiet enough that Mark was beginning to worry the other would be able to hear his heart trying to beat it’s way out of his chest. Before Mark could say goodbye, Taeyong spoke.

“Get home safely. Good night, Mark.”

“Thank you for everything today, seriously. Good night, Taeyong.” Mark felt ice run through his veins, finally cooling the constant heat that he had been radiating whenever he was near Taeyong. It was odd being so close to Taeyong and finally being comfortable enough to actually look the other in the eyes without a flush immediately flooding his face. In less than 24 hours, Mark had met all the members of the famed 4infinity, ate lunch with them, watched them perform for hours, and then snagged a date with the leader. Just yesterday Johnny was teasing him about the concert and his obsession-not-obsession with the group. And now Mark was living some weird sort of teenage fantasy where he could casually talk to these celebrities as if they were friends. Johnny was NOT going to believe him, this would be an interesting car ride home. They turned and walked their separate ways, no further conversation needed. 

* * *

“You’re shitting me.”

“100 perecent not shitting you.”

“You expect me to believe that Lee Taeyong just randomly picked you up and swept you off your feet like some fairytale? My Mark, wooed by the man of his wet dreams.”

“Johnny, stop. He did not woo me or whatever other nonsense you’re spewing. He simply did me a favor and I just so happened to end up with his number in my phone.”

“You fail to mention the date you two have tomorrow.”

Mark and Johnny went on like this for the entire car ride home, a comfortable bicker with no obvious end in sight. Mark was never going to hear the end of this. At some point during the drive home, his phone vibrates but he has half a mind not to pull out his phone where Johnny was anywhere remotely close to being able to see his phone. It wasn’t often Mark got texts so he was sure it was Taeyong finally texting him like he said he would. He was already tired of hearing Johnny as it is, he doesn’t need to give him more fuel to egg him on about this whole weird situation Mark got himself into. After an otherwise uneventful drive home, they walked into their shared apartment and made their way to their bedrooms after a few more jabs from Johnny and a good night.

Quick the lock the door, Mark ran and plopped onto his bed and pulled out his phone. As predicted, Taeyong had texted him in the car.

Taeyong 🎶  
11:12PM  
Hi  
Excited for tomorrow  
What’s your address? :)

11:43PM  
Hi  
I live in Tech Terrace Apartments on 27th St  
Wait isn’t international texting super expensive?

11:44PM  
Someone will pick you up at 8, be ready :)  
Mmmm, yea it is but this is an American number so don’t worry

11:44PM  
So you just casually have a phone for when you’re in America?  
Doesn’t that get confusing?

After a few minutes passed without receiving a reply, so Mark decided to get up and get ready for bed. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and washed his face, always sure that his phone was within arm’s reach. Returning to his bedroom, phone on his dresser, he removed his new outfit, placing it in the hamper next to his dresser as well as the clothes from this morning that were still in the shopping bag. Left in just his briefs, Mark’s hand gravitated towards the necklace he had yet to remove. Cold and hard against his chest, it was the only real physical reminder that what had happened today was real. He didn’t make it up; Taeyong had handed them this necklace, causing the avalanche of events and emotions throughout the rest of the day. There was a lot to unpack so Mark grabbed his phone and laid down in bed, flat on his back, and started lazily turning the pendant over in his fingers. 

He was exhausted both emotionally and physically and yet he said yes to tomorrow. He agreed to meet Taeyong on his own time, taking away from what little free time he had. Mark should feel bad but he does not. He feels giddy and nervous to the point where he thinks he might throw up if he had the energy. What was it about Mark that the other kept inviting him into his space? They literally knew nothing about each other. Well, Mark knew a lot about Taeyong. But that was the Taeyong that everyone saw-a guise to appease the general public and garner the love and adoration of millions of people. It was what people wanted, and Taeyong was happy to oblige. Mark was no one in comparison. Before he had too much time to dwell on that thought, his phone buzzed. Like a flash of lightning, Mark had his phone open and open to his messages.

11:59PM  
Ask me about it tomorrow, I’m tired  
I never got your last name Mark

12:00AM  
Lee  
My name is Mark Lee

12:00AM  
What a coincidence, Mr. Lee  
See you in a couple hours  
Good night, Mark Lee  
  


12:01AM  
Good night

Mark sighed, reaching over to his nightstand to plug in his phone. He set an alarm for 7:00, knowing he would hit snooze more times than he should. Then slowly, the darkness of his room swallowed him as his drowsiness became too much to handle. All at once, Mark was asleep, softly snoring with his fingers still wrapped around the pendant on his chest. 

* * *

It was smart of Mark to set his alarm earlier than he needed because he slept through the first round of ringing. Then the second round. Ten minutes after the first alarm went off, he was finally up. He rolled out of bed, stumbling to stand up. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he made his way into the bathroom to start his morning ritual. Shower, wash face, brush teeth, dry hair. It truly was a ritual, he had trained his body so that going through the steps was like pushing the on button. 

Wasting no time, he was in the shower and out in record time. Towel wrapped around his waist and necklace still hanging from his neck, he went through the rest of the motions of his morning routine. He dried his hair back out of his face, neatly swooping into place. He had about twenty more minutes before he needed to be out the door and he still wasn’t even dressed. This was not the time to have another repeat of his concert outfit dilemma. There just wasn’t enough time to even bother waking Johnny up to help. So he went to his closet and decided to wear a plain white t shirt tucked into his favorite pair of light blue jeans with holes in the left knee. It was a safe choice and that was the best Mark could hope for right now. Perhaps if he had more time he could have come up with something better, something a little more daring. But he was in a rush and Mark didn’t like rushing. (Yet somehow continues to find himself rushing. He should really work on that.) 

  
Finally dressed and put together, Mark made his way to the front door while checking his phone. He was supposed to be picked up in less than five minutes. In a whirlwind of movements, Mark had donned his plain white sneakers and black bomber jacket. Grabbing his keys from the table by the front door, he was out the door and downstairs by precisely 8:00AM. 

A small man dressed in a suit was standing, waiting by a running white car outside the main entrance of the apartment complex. When he saw Mark come outside, he made a step forward towards Mark and bowed his head slightly.

“Mr. Lee, I’ll be your driver.”

“Wow, uh thanks.” Mark nodded his head in return and walked towards the car where the driver had moved to open the rear door for Mark. Mark took his seat and strapped in while the driver moved back around to assume his position in the driver’s seat. Then they were off, nothing else spoken by the driver. Mark’s phone buzzed as the driver pulled out of the apartment complex.

  
  


Taeyong 🎶  
8:01AM  
See you soon, drive safe :)

* * *

It was a quiet ride and Mark didn’t mind. It gave him time to process exactly what was about to happen. But not enough time because before Mark had time to even worry, they were pulling up to some skyscraper of a hotel. The driver parked the car in the porte chochere, exited the car, and was opening the door for Mark in a matter of seconds. 

“Thank you.” Mark said as he climbed out of the car and stood gaping at the hotel, taken aback by the grandness. The hotel had to be at least 30 stories tall, gleaming with mirrored windows. Attached to the hotel was a cafe with glass windows and a patio. The patio held a couple of tables and chairs as well as a couple of outdoor sofas.

“That must be the place.” Mark talked to himself. He walked to the street entrance of the cafe and opened the door, calm music and the strong smell of coffee washed over him. Given that it was still early, a couple of customers were sitted with their steaming white mugs, some with laptops typing away. It was a typical cafe and Mark wasn’t sure why he was expecting something else. 

Mark scanned the room, looking for Taeyong but instead found Baekhyun sitting in the far back corner at a small table with no one else around him. Then he was waving at Mark, urging him to come sit with him. Not seeming like he had much of a choice, Mark joined him at the table. As he sat, he noticed papers on the table that Baekhyun was ignoring, opting to smile at Mark.

“Good morning, Mark.”

“Good morning, Baekhyun.” Mark tried to keep his tone flat but it ended up coming out more as a question than he intended.

“Don’t worry, Taeyong is still coming. I have to talk to you first though.” Baekhyun had a hint of mischievousness in his voice. Clearly whatever Baekhyun had to talk about was not good news for Mark.

“Oh no, what did I do?” Mark was beginning to panic. Did he say something wrong yesterday? Or did he do something he wasn’t supposed to? He knew he shouldn't have agreed to Taeyong; he should have stayed and went home back to a normal life. Nothing would have changed if he had said no. But how could he have known something bad was going to happen? How could he have lived saying no and not knowing what could have happened that day?

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just legal stuff. Yesterday was fine since everyone was aware and on their best behavior. Today though, you have to sign some forms. Basically saying you won’t talk about whatever happens today that involves any of the members of 4infinity or other involved parties such as myself and other staff. Whatever you do or whatever Taeyong may say remains between you, Taeyong, myself, and the other members. No blabbing to your roommate or Taemin. And you sure as hell can’t write about it.”

Mark stared as Baekhyun talked, wide eyed and unblinking. He simply nodded as Baekhyun went on about how this was all to protect Taeyong and 4infinty and SPR. Mark was sitting here, pen in hand, ready to sign a fucking non-disclosure agreement. What did he get himself into?

“So I can never talk about today to anyone for, like, ever?” Mark asked, staring at the papers in front of him.

“Basically. There are some minor caveats like if someone is publicly announced or something. Say Taeyong tell you a new album is coming out next month, you can’t talk about it until an official announcement is made.”

“Oh…”

“If you don’t want to sign, the driver is still waiting outside ready to take you home.”

Mark hummed to himself, pen in one hand and his other hand gravitating back to the pendant he had yet to take off. What did he have to lose? 

“Ok.”

Mark inhaled deeply and signed his autonomy away. Once the ink had dried, he finally exhaled and slid the papers across the table to Baekhyun.

“What do I have to lose?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're signing NDAs lads, what good could possible come from this.


	8. View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gets more comfortable with the boys, or so he thinks. How does he keep getting invited out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out longer than I anticipated. I got stuck for a while but I think I'm going in the right direction now.

“I’m sorry if Baekhyun was weird. It’s just a precaution we have to take.” Taeyong sipped on some iced milky coffee drink, watching Mark play with the straw of his identical drink.

  
“I get it, I mean I am a journalist after all.” Mark laughed, looking up from his barely touched drink. It was true, Mark did get it. Trusting a journalist was hard, there was a fine line between being genuinely curious about someone or something and just trying to get more information for your work. People will go to extreme measures to break that one great story they dream of; they’d go as far as stalking, lying, bribery, you name it. Whatever it takes, it was gross Mark thought. But this didn’t apply to everyone, like most things, just an ugly stereotype. This wasn’t Mark and there was no other way to convince Taeyong or Baekhyun otherwise, so he signed the papers.

  
“If it’s any consolation, I’m an open book now. I’ll try to be as honest as possible.” Taeyong smiled sympathetically, making Mark’s heart skip a beat.

  
“I’ll hold you to it.” Mark smiled back. It was getting easier to be in the same space as Taeyong. The not-flirting no longer stressed Mark out and the tightness of his chest turned into a warm pressure. A weight to remind him that he may be comfortable but this was still the Lee Taeyong in front of him, lips wrapping around the straw of his drink and eye scrunching from the probably brain freeze he was getting from sipping too fast. It was still cold out but it didn’t stop him from choosing an iced drink. And when Taeyong turned to ask what he wanted, his mind went blank and under the pressure he managed to sputter out something that sounded like “I’ll get the same.”

  
“You know, Lucas wouldn’t stop talking about you on the ride back. I think he really likes you.”

  
“Really? I feel like we didn’t really talk much…”

  
“I’m sure you gathered he’s easily entertained. This may come as a shock but it actually gets kind of lonely doing what we do. We travel a lot and we’re always busy with something and Lucas takes it the hardest. He loves performing and everything but he can get drained easily so when he gets to meet new people, it’s like an energy boost for him.”

  
Lucas was all grins and laughs yesterday that Mark would have never guessed that Lucas was lonely. It wasn’t too hard to understand though, Mark spent a lot of time at work and didn’t get to see his friends as often as he would like. He may get to come home and see Johnny sometimes but that was different. His friends from college had all gone on and got jobs and moved away. Some of them found jobs in the city like Mark did, like his old roommate Yuta got a job as a teacher at a local high school. But everyone was so busy with being an adult that it was hard coordinating schedules. Ok it wasn’t exactly the same as traveling the country and spending every waking moment with the same people all the time but still, everyone gets lonely at one point or another.

  
“I didn’t realize…” Mark trailed off, now in a weird headspace thinking about how much of a toll that kind of lifestyle must have on the group.

  
“Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re used to it at this point. You were a breath of fresh air and Lucas just went a little overboard.”

  
“I’m flattered?” Mark raised his eyebrows and then proceeded to laugh. Well, more so giggle than laugh but Mark wasn’t a giggler, he was adamant about that. Taeyong laughed in return and they sat in silence as they finished their drinks and picked at the coffee cake they had decided to split. It was a comfortable silence and Mark began to wonder how it had gotten to this point. Just yesterday he nearly had a full-blown panic attack because Taeyong was coming to him and now today he was eating off the same plate as the other without any major impending catastrophe. While he was relaxed enough to enjoy the silence, he still managed to keep his gaze off the other for as long as possible without it seeming like he was avoiding eye contact all together, which probably helped with the whole sense of dread thing.

  
Speaking of the devil, a pair of long, bronzed arms plopped on top of Mark’s shoulders.

  
“Am I interrupting?” Lucas spoke over the top of Mark’s head, breath disrupting the neat black hairs there. Taeyong scoffed and replied.

  
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing here, Lucas.” All bitterness in his voice being erased by the gentle smile on his face. Before Lucas could respond, another voice spoke from behind Mark.

  
“I tried to stop him but you know how he gets.” It was Ten, who was dragging a chair from an empty table to sit at the empty side of the table between Mark and Taeyong. Lucas finally took his arms off of Mark to mimic Ten and pull a chair between Ten and Mark.

  
“You failed to stop him so you decided to pull up a chair and join us without bothering to ask?” The bitterness had left Taeyong’s voice, replaced with something resembling fondness with a hint of sarcasm. Ten smiled, his eyes scrunching above his cheeks. Guess that was the end of that argument, if you could even call it that. Lucas turned to Mark and grinned, flashing his stupidly white teeth.

  
“Are you coming with us?” Mark cannot stress this enough but Lucas is hot, stupidly, mind numbingly hot. Here the model was, staring at Mark with his huge brown eyes and jean-clad knees brushing against each other, and it hits him like a freight train. Lucas was here, in the flesh, talking to Mark like they’re friends who go way back. Mark forget how to talk and Taeyong must sense something was up because he speaks before Mark can manage to blubber something he can’t take back.

  
“Lucas, give the boy some space.” Mark looks up and smiles weakly at Taeyong, but quickly remembers that Taeyong makes his heart do weird things, which is not helping in this situation, and looks at his finished drink instead.

  
“Sorry, it’s just he was the one who suggested we go so it’s only fair if we invite him… Right, Tennie?” Lucas, despite being a giant, had shrunk into himself. His voice was small and his right hand found its way to Ten’s knee.

  
“Don’t bring me into this.” Ten looked between Lucas and Taeyong, hand covering Lucas’ on his knee. It took Mark longer than he cared to admit to figure out what exactly they were talking about. Then he remembered their conversation yesterday and how he recommended them going to the art museum. Is Lucas implying they want him to tag along? Again?

  
“What Lucas is trying to ask is would you like to come out with us? You don’t have to if you don’t want to obviously. We should be leaving within the hour.” Taeyong pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at Mark, waiting for an answer.

  
“Uhm…” Here Mark was again, faced with Taeyong offering him something he wants to say, rather yell, yes to. Though he is slightly more experienced than the last time, it still catches him off guard. He was being invited to spend yet another day with the group but not for work this time. He couldn’t work today, he had explicitly signed a contract saying he wouldn’t.There was nothing Mark could pull out of this other than his own satisfaction, so why was he struggling to say yes? Perhaps it had something to do with the three sets of eyes staring at him as he floundered. Eyes attached to three very attractive, very talented men who wanted, asked, to spend the day with him. “Sure…” Mark struggled but finally got an answer out. It wasn’t as enthusiastic as he hoped but it got the point across.

  
“I’ll go tell Baekhyun, he’s back in his room.” Lucas stood up suddenly, shaking the table as his knees bumped the edge. He looked as excited as he sounded, beaming like he was the sun and the group sitting around him were planets that orbited, basking in his rays. He walked away before anyone could say anything, not that it seemed like anyone was going to try and stop him anyways.

  
“I see what you mean now.” Mark laughed as he watched Lucas basically sprint out of the cafe.

  
“You get used to it.” Ten said, standing up. “Do you guys want something else to drink? I’m going to get some tea.”  
  


* * *

  
After a lot of back and forth from Ten and Taeyong about some show they were watching last night, Mark adding nothing to the debate just simply nodding along, Kai appeared and assumed Lucas’ empty seat saying nothing. Kai was dressed in jeans and an oversized grey hoodie but still managed to look photoshoot ready. Something that would be so casual on anyone else looked elegant and carefully thought out on him. Ten and Taeyong paid Kai no attention as he sat and scrolled through his phone, not even acknowledging Mark’s existence next to him. This all had to be some weird fever dream and Mark was going to wake up soon. There was no world in which Kai, beautiful perfect Kai, would just sit next to Mark as if he wasn’t even there.

  
“Take a picture, it lasts longer.” Ten quipped. Mark shut his mouth, which apparently had opened at some point after Kai sat down. Taeyong proceeded to slap Ten’s shoulder, hard enough that Mark could hear the impact. Kai just laughed without even bothering to look up from his phone.

  
“Ouch, Yongie. It’s not like we don’t all have hundreds of photos of him on our phones.” Taeyong seemed like he was about to either say something or hit Ten again but was interrupted by the loud snickering of Lucas and Baekhyun who were nearing the table.

  
“Baekhyunnnn, Taeyong hit me.” Ten pouted, rubbing his shoulder.

  
“Did you deserve it?” Baekhyun stood behind Kai, hands on his shoulders rubbing lightly, with Lucas off to his side.

  
“No….” “Yes.” Ten and Taeyong spoke at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed, any animosity gone between them. Mark was going to have a severe case of whiplash by the time he got home.

“Cars should be here soon. Lucas and Ten with me in the first one, the rest of you in the second. Be outside in five minutes.” Baekhyun left at that, leaving the members of 4infinity and one (1) dumbfounded Mark Lee.

  
Ten and Taeyong went back to talking about their show and how it was so obvious that the main characters were in love and Lucas interjected saying no it wasn’t. Kai looked up from his phone finally, looking at Mark.

  
“It’s like a circus with those three.”

  
“I can see that.” Mark laughed, face turning red under Kai’s unnecessarily intense gaze. Kai looked like he wanted to eat Mark and Mark was ready to offer himself up on a silver platter if he asked. Was he always like this? How could the others bare to work with him without passing out?

  
“So I take it you’re coming with us?” The dancer smiled, softening his features but still intently watching Mark who had resorted to picking at the hole in his jeans to keep himself from shaking.  
“Yeah, I guess so.”

  
Kai leaned over the space between them and looked back at the group that were deep in conversation, too busy to notice whatever Kai was doing. Mark froze, starting at the skin of his knee instead of the other. If Mark focused enough, he could probably smell Kai’s cologne with how close he was now.

  
“You know Taeyong likes you, right?” Kai whispered next to Mark’s ear, close enough where the other’s couldn’t hear but not close enough where it looked too intimate.

  
“I… uh… huh?” Mark shot his eyes up to Kai who was leaning back to sit properly.

  
“Why else do you think you’re here?” Kai winked and stood up, grabbing his phone left on the table, and left the cafe, leaving Mark confused.

  
Taeyong likes Mark? Well sure, Taeyong must like Mark to invite him to hang out in his limited free time... Lucas also liked Mark, Taeyong said so himself. However, there was something about the way Kai said it that was so very different than the way Taeyong talked about Lucas. It was like Kai was implying there was more to it and Mark wasn’t ready to process that information so he just didn’t. A celebrity had no reason to associate with a nobody like Mark, this was just something fun to pass Taeyong’s time and Mark just happened to be in the right place at the right time is all. But then again, Taeyong was very suggestive last night talking about how he had to talk to Mark because of that damned outfit. No, this was nothing. Mark was trying to find something that wasn’t there and he needed to stop. Kai was just trying to rile him up, make him sweat obviously.

  
“Mark are you okay?” The members had stopped talking, opting to stare at Mark who had begun shaking his leg erratically lost in thought. Mark placed his palms on his knees getting his legs to stop bouncing, and stood up.

  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous.” Mark managed a smile, lips tight together.

  
“No need to be nervous, we don’t bite.” Lucas was still standing from earlier and walked over to Mark, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

  
“Unless you’re into that.” Ten muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for Mark to make out. Taeyong slapped him again and stood up.

  
“Come on, let’s go.” Taeyong pulled Ten out of his seat and dragged him by the arm out of the cafe. Mark looked up at Lucas who just shrugged and followed behind with Mark in tow.  
  


* * *

  
Somehow Mark managed to forget for a while that these four men were celebrities. While sitting around shooting the breeze with them over coffee this morning, it just seemed like they were normal people who wanted to be friends with Mark and not someone that he had spent the last couple months doing endless research on. That reality came crashing back to Mark when he stepped outside and was met with people yelling at the performers who were outside heading towards their assigned vehicle. Lucas had let go of Mark at some point and waltzed up to walk next to Ten. Mark was left alone by the doors, frozen in place unsure of what he was supposed to do. Taking notice of Mark’s absence as he was approaching to open doors of the car, he turned around and saw Mark frozen in place. He walked to the statue that was Mark and whispered, “Don’t think too much about it. Just follow me and keep your eyes on me, okay?”

  
All Mark could manage was a nod, which signaled Taeyong to walk back to the car as Mark followed. Ten and Lucas had already entered the back seat in the car at the front of the line and Kai was in the passenger seat of the car behind it. Baekhyun stood in between the two cars, watching Taeyong and Mark make their way. Taeyong got in first, sliding all the way over the bench and Mark stumbled in after him. Baekhyun swooped up behind him and leaned his head in the opening.

  
“All good in here?” Baekhyun seemed to be asking everyone in the car but was only looking at Mark when he asked. Taeyong spoke for him.  
  


“We’re good. Let’s go.” Baekhyun closed the door and disappeared.

  
“I’m sorry…” Mark spoke, barely above a whisper. Taeyong reached his hand over and patted Mark’s leg gently, trying to sooth the anxiety that was seeping from him.

  
“Don’t apologize, I should have warned you.” Taeyong’s hand lingered for longer than what would have been deemed appropriate before returning it back to his own leg.

  
“How do you ever get used to that?” Mark looked over, straightening his back and taking a deep breath.

  
“You don’t.” Kai twisted his body in the front seat, looking behind him at the pair as the car pulled away from the hotel.

  
“He’s right, to an extent. It just becomes part of the job and you learn to put on your professional face like you would if you were going in for a regular job. It’s tiring, some days are better than others, but that’s what you sign up for living a public life.” Taeyong added and Kai just hummed in response and turned back in his seat.

  
“Wait, they saw me with you. What if someone says something? What if someone recognized me? Shouldn’t I have rode separately or something? Oh god, did I just fuck this up?”

  
“Mark, breathe. They were too focused on us to worry about you. Plus, we have professionals for this kind of stuff. Do you think we didn’t plan for this? It’s okay Mark.” The reassuring hand was back on Mark’s leg and this time Taeyong didn’t remove it as Mark his head against the headrest.

  
“I just don’t want to cause you guys any trouble, you’ve already done so much and now you’re just letting me intrude on your free time.”

  
“You’re cute but you need to relax. It’s all under control, do you understand that?” Mark nodded, staring at the roof of the car trying to get his heart rate under control. “I need you to use your words.” Taeyong squeezed his thigh and Mark managed to get a yes out.

  
They finished the drive to the museum in silence (aside from the blood rushing in Mark’s ears, but he was pretty sure he was the only one who could hear that.) As they pulled up to their destination, Mark could see Ten and Lucas standing in front of the museum craning their neck up to look at the tall facade. Baekhyun stood by the street waiting for their car to arrive. Kai was first out and quickly went to open the door for Mark as he was reaching to open it for himself. Mark was like 90% sure he saw Kai wink at him as he stood up but that might have just been his imagination. Kai and Mark walked to the gawking couple as Taeyong was intercepted by their manager to “talk”.

  
“You didn’t tell us it was in a castle.” Ten whipped his head to look at Mark. It wasn’t exactly a castle, more like an old almost mansion that was bought out before some big construction company could come by and turn it into another office or apartment building. This area of the city used to be a neighborhood with streets that were lined with row homes and houses similar to what now housed the museum. Then more people started moving to the area and needs changed. No one wanted or could afford such extravagant homes anymore so people were forced to move out and sell them for exorbitant prices that property management companies bought and contractors turned into shiny metal and glass buildings.

  
“I guess it’s not something I really think about anymore, I’ve been coming here for like ever.” Mark shrugged and Ten pulled out his phone.

  
“Can you take a picture pretty please?” Ten handed his phone, open to the camera, and handed it to Mark.

  
“Sure!” Mark took the phone and Ten grabbed Lucas who was still staring at the building.

  
“Come on Lucas. Make sure you get the museum in it.” Lucas was easily dragged along and they both stood in front of the museum as people walked past in the background. No one paying them any attention as they argued over how to pose. They ended up deciding on doing something serious, straight faced and looking not quite at the camera. Mark took a couple test photos before stepping back and bumping into Kai who had managed to stand behind Mark without a noise. Mark jumped and Kai just huffed out of his nose, resembling a laugh.

  
“Jesus, do you always creep around like this?” Mark looked at Kai and stepped beside him, too focused on the task at hand to feel flustered.

  
“Angle up a little more.” Was all Kai had to say, which Mark did.

  
“Okay I think I got some good ones!” Mark shouted, ignoring the warmth radiating off of Kai and seeping into his skin. He was so close, why does he keep getting so close?

  
Ten skipped over and took the phone from Mark and swiped through the photos.

  
“These are perfect, thanks Mark.”

  
“Okay, my turn.” Kai was shoving his phone into Mark’s hand as he was walking to assume the spot that Ten and Lucas were just in. Somehow this trip had turned into a photo shoot, which now that Mark thinks about it, makes sense. They all had their own Instagram profiles where they were all constantly posting photos of themselves or their travels. When you’re that beautiful, you’d be selfish not to share it with the world. Mark took photos similar to Ten and Lucas’ but then moved in closer to Kai, body moving on it’s own accord. He walked even closer until he was essentially taking profile shots of the model, Kai was the focus here not the museum and it was so easy to manage that. Taking photos of Kai was easy, it was impossible to take a bad photo of him.

  
“Mark, I think that’s enough.” Kai laughed, which Mark also managed to capture. He stared at that last photo for a second too long, causing Kai to snatch his phone away.

  
“Are we quite done modeling?” Mark turned around to see everyone staring at him and Kai. Taeyong was the one speaking, lips curled up into a hint of a smile. “Come on, let’s go in.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone fawning over Mark will never get old. There might be even more fawning over Mark, maybe even fighting over his attention? Who knows. 
> 
> Also, what do you think of Neo Zone??? What's your favorite song? Mine is MAD DOG 100%.


	9. Pandora's Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark shows 4infinity around the museum and makes a "friend" along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but not really sorry for the erratic upload schedule.

It was still fairly early in the morning and the museum had just opened so there were hardly any visitors. In fact, 4infinity and co probably made up more than half of the people inside the building. There were halls of art with ornate trim and built in columns that surrounded a grand staircase at the center that led up to more displays. There was a desk to the left of the entrance littered with pamphlets and an old man sitting behind it who smiled and greeted the lot as they entered.

“So, uh, I guess I’ll lead the way?” Mark headed to the hallway to the left of the staircase after no one responded to him, too engulfed in the light display that hung over the stairs. Ten was first to notice Mark was leaving and notified the others that they were moving on, afterwards moving to walk next to Mark. 

The museum wasn’t anything grand or spectacular, it certainly was no Louvre that Mark knows the group visited a couple months ago while performing in Paris. (There were plenty of Instagram and Twitter posts to prove it.) Still, it was impressive in its own right. A lot of the pieces were on loan from artists and collectors or were part of traveling exhibits so whatever was on display was changed quite frequently. That was part of the main reason he and Johnny had visited more frequently than most people probably visit art museums. It was quiet, peaceful, and there was almost always something new to admire whenever they came. 

Ten had slowed his pace once he found himself surrounded by art, Mark slowing with him. On the walls hung paintings from the same artist, all bright, colorful and notably abstract. Ten and Mark stood in front of a remarkably large piece that bookended the hallway and the rest of their posse filtered out and divided amongst themselves to look at the different hangings. 

“So you really just come here whenever you want?” Ten’s voice was small as he spoke, not facing Mark, attention still completely on the splashes of color.

“Yeah, basically. I was just here last month actually. It’s nice to come and just decompress.” Ten had moved on, slinking over to the perpendicular wall eyeing the smaller pieces that lined it.

“I wish we had more time to do stuff like this. I like to draw when I have time but being able to go out and see someone else convey things in different ways is pretty inspiring. 

“What do you like to draw?”

“It’s all pretty abstract, maybe not quite this abstract,” Ten motioned to the blue and green streaks, “but it helps me express myself in ways I can’t when I dance. If you’d like I could show you sometime.”

“Sure.” Mark looked over to Ten who was practically glowing with the agreement. It didn’t slip past Mark though that Ten had implied there would be a time where they would see each other again. He didn’t dwell on it long because Baekhyun had approached with Taeyong peeking around his shoulder and started talking before Mark could question what “sometime” meant.

“Is Ten trying to sell you his drawings already?”

“Baekhyun, shut up.” Ten moved to the otherside of Mark, in between him and Baekhyun. “We were just talking about art, since we’re in, you know, an art museum.” Ten gave him a more than playful shove, causing the manager to lose his footing and take a step back. 

“Ten, calm down. You know he’s just teasing you.” Taeyong had his hand behind Baekhyun as he regained his balance. Ten just scoffed and walked off, leaving Mark dazed as he had watched the scuffle. Lucas was watching from the opposite end and chased after Ten as he more or less stormed off into the next section of the building. 

“He’ll be okay. He’s just being dramatic as usual, give him a couple minutes and it’ll be like it never happened.” Baekhyun had stepped away from Taeyong, and walked to join Kai who was heading in the same direction as Ten.

“Like one big happy family.” Taeyong sighed and then laughed while shaking his head. His snow white hair dropped in front of his eyes and Mark had to resist the urge to reach out to push it out of the way. “Shall we get going?”

Staying paired up, everyone continued exploring the first floor at their own pace. Ten and Lucas were much further ahead than Taeyong and Ten who were taking their time giving equal attention to each piece on display. They would talk about something that caught their eye but the conversation never strayed too far from that. It was on the edge of being too stuffy and professional but somehow Taeyong managed to turn it into something more lax. Mark could feel the tension rolling off his shoulders with every eyebrow raise and hum Taeyong gave. For a moment, Mark had completely forgotten that he was there under a signed NDA and the rest of 4inifinty were waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs after having wrapped around the entire bottom level. Instead he was here, with Taeyong, alone. Some sort of internet fueled fantasy was coming to life and Mark was the protagonist. They were so close that Mark could reach out and brush his fingers across the other’s hand in hopes that they’d interlock fingers. But this wasn’t that, this was reality and Taeyong was not that someone for Mark. Mark sighed and flexed his fingers, catching Taeyong’s profile as he was taking in the details of a finely crafted silver bracelet imbedded with raw gemstones. Taeyong was truly perfect and deserved someone just as perfect and Mark was stupid for thinking he could even come close to competing with whoever that person may be. Mark was just a blip on his timeline, someone convenient to provide entertainment for a short while. Mark wasn’t sure how he got into the train of thought and why he was suddenly feeling so attached to the leader. Taeyong would be gone tomorrow and everything would go back to normal. Even then, they hardly knew anything about each other so Taeyong really had no reason to think of Mark in any other light than a quick acquaintance. 

“....Earth to Mark” Taeyong was snapping his fingers in front of Mark’s face, pulling him out of the haze that had apparently enveloped his brain. Mark blinked and shook his head mumbling an apology. “What was that?”

“Sorry, was distracted.”

“I could tell.” A chuckle from Taeyong. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about.” Mark strained a smile.

“Well, when you do, I’m listening. I’m an excellent listener. Come on, the boys are waiting for us.” Taeyong gave a soft pat on Mark’s back, ushering him forward to where everyone was waiting.

* * *

  
  


At the top of the stairs sat a grand ballroom. (Okay so maybe it was a castle, what house has a ballroom?) This was saved for the large traveling exhibits that seemed to change monthly. Last month it was some social-media-worthy interactive exhibit full of lights and things hanging from the ceiling. Johnny was practically a child swimming through the flowers and tinsel as Mark sat back in one of the chairs making sure he was recording the entire experience. It may be useful blackmail later on, Mark thinks. Or maybe something he can show his kids when they’re all old and wrinkled. It must not have been a full month since he was here last because the same room was waiting for them at the top. They stood in the archway that lead to the ballroom, taking in the aggressive lights and colors attacking from every angle. It was empty in the massive room save for a family that was watching their daughter laugh as she tried to jump to touch anything that was low enough for her little hands to reach.

“Woah.” Lucas’ deep voice was just loud enough for Mark to hear at the end of the line they had formed, taking a second to take everything in.

“Woah is right.” Ten peeped up and then proceeded to walk into the room. It was truly sensory overload as you walked through. Various lights from different sources were constantly moving around the room. As you walked you were barraged by a variety of items hanging from different heights, anything from string lights to flowers to mirrors to just plain string. If you could think of it, it was probably hanging from the ceiling. It was like walking through the rain but instead of water, it was objects. There was a cross section in the middle that was free of items where you could walk without worry of being attacked, which is where Ten headed towards. Ten stood in the middle of the cross, whipping his head around as he tried to take everything in. Lucas was next to follow but he opted for just walking headfirst into the waterfall, laughing the entire time as his head hit everything that stood in his way. Taeyong, Mark, and Baekhyun just laughed as they slowly walked the empty path towards Ten. Kai stayed back at the entrance, quick to whip out his phone and take pictures of Lucas and he got lost in the forest of hanging objects. 

“This is amazing.” Ten said to no one in particular. Baekhyun hummed in agreement and sat down in one of the chairs that lined the empty paths. “Seriously, thanks Mark for suggesting this.”

“I’m glad you enjoy it, this is a fun one to take pictures of. Me and my roommate were here not too long ago and we managed to take hundreds of photos in less than ten minutes.” Mark laughed and he pulled out his phone to show Ten a small sample of some of the photos he had taken of Johnny. There were no photos of himself for two reasons: one being he hates taking pictures, two being his roommate was a self-proclaimed photographer and was the one doing most of the photo taking that day.

“Oh my god, great idea. Baekhyun come take pictures of us pretty please?” Baekhyun was out of his chair and taking the phone from Ten’s extended arm in a matter of seconds. He was immediately taking pictures of Ten as he walked in, arms out brushing through the vines. Ten turned around and noticed that Taeyong and Mark were just watching. “Oh come on, you too.” Ten came back out and grabbed Taeyong and Mark by the wrists and pulled them into the object ocean. Mark stiffened when he realized that Ten wanted him to be in the photos with him.

“A-are you sure?” Mark stuttered, looking at Taeyong wide-eyed for help.

“Yeah, why not?” Ten squeezed Mark’s wrist and then let go. 

“Mark it’s fine. We’re all friends now, right? As long as they don’t go online, it’s fine.” Taeyong had sidled up next to Ten as they faced Baekhyun. He opened his arms for Mark to step into, which he did eventually, after much internal debate. They rotated through every possible pose and concept that Ten came up with. “Okay, now just you two.” Ten darted out and took his phone from Baekhyun before either could refuse. They gave each other a look that Mark couldn’t quite decipher but surely it meant they were up to no good. Mark looked to Taeyong who was smiling at Ten who had the phone up, already tapping the screen to take way more photos than necessary. Knowing Ten would call him out on staring, he was quick to turn his attention back to the camera and gave his best smile. Then it was dark. Mark stopped breathing as soon as he realized he couldn’t see anything. Frozen still he tried to catch his breath, reaching to rub his eyes but not making contact. Something was blocking his vision, how did he not feel that something was covering his eyes? Groping the blockage, he realized they were in the shape of hands. Very large, very rough hands. 

“Guess who.” A deep voice whispered into his left ear, lips barely brushing against the tip. 

“Lucas.” Mark coughed out. “Your hands give you away.” 

“Oh come on, that’s no fun!” The hands on his face were gone and were gently shoving his back.

“Lucas you know you have massive hands. The entire world knows that.” Taeyong was laughing, watching Mark turn around to look up at Lucas who was holding his hands in front of himself as if he would see something he hadn’t seen before. 

“It’s true, everyone on the internet talks about your hands.” Mark decidedly stopped at that, not mentioning the fact that most of the time his hands came up, it was in a sexual manner. He had impressively long fingers. Long fingers that could grip around… yeah okay Mark, that’s enough of that thought.

“Really? I didn’t realize” Taeyong and Mark looked at each other with confused faces.

“Wait, are you serious?” Taeyong looked back to Lucas. “You’re always flaunting them when we take pictures and comparing your hands to Ten’s…” 

“I mean I knew my hands were big, but I didn’t realize they were something people just casually talked about online.”

Ten had found his way over and inserted himself into the conversation. “Really people just talk about how they want your hands on them. Or, maybe, in them.” Mark coughed, keeling over. That was one way of saying it. “Aw, I didn’t realize you were so innocent, Mark.” Ten teased and Mark tried to keep himself from choking. Baekhyun and Kai quickly found their way over when they heard Mark essentially dying.

“Ten, what did you do to him?” Baekhyun was next to Mark, patting his back as he tried to stand back up straight. Taeyong and Lucas were laughing, almost actually rolling on the floor crying. Kai just looked confused and Ten had to clue him in.

“I was just saying how our fans just love Lucas so much.” Ten smiled, all teeth and tongue. This sent Taeyong and Lucas into another fit of laughter, Ten and Kai joining in this time. Baekhyun and Mark just watched as they slowly came out of it.

“Sorry Mark, we’re used to that kind of stuff. We’ve probably heard it all at this point. Sometimes they get super graphic about… ahem… Lucas’ hands.” Kai dried tears from his eyes as he spoke. 

“We see way more stuff online than you probably realize.” Taeyong was next to Mark again, rubbing small circles on his back just when he thought he was back to breathing normally. His heart rate shot back up at the touch, his ears burning up. Did Taeyong really have no idea the effect he had on people? What was supposed to be soothing just riled Mark back up again.

“Well, except for Lucas apparently.” Ten looked at Lucas who just shrugged. All Mark could muster was a quiet “oh my god” as he casually stepped out of Taeyong’s touch.

“Come on guys, let’s leave Mark alone.” Baekhyun walked away from the group, physically pulling Ten by the arm and back out to the hallway around the stairs. Lucas and Kai followed, not without shooting a look at Taeyong beforehand.

“Your friends are something else.” Mark couldn’t dare look at Taeyong right now. He knew his face was blazing red and not just from the lights that were shining on him. If he were to look at Taeyong right now, he’d slip back into that fantasy world and he couldn’t afford to lose his cool even more.

“Are we friends, Mark?” Don’t turn around, Mark. Don’t turn around and say something stupid.

“What do you mean?” Good, smart. Deflect, avoid. You’re good at that Mark.

“You know what I mean.” Taeyong took a step forward, Mark could feel his presence as he inched closer.

“We barely know each other.” Mark played with a strand of origami cranes flying in the air in front of him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up before crumbling in front of the other. His heart was weak enough as it is and now his knees were ready to buckle under the weight of his existence.

“I know that you’re hard working.” Taeyong stepped closer. “That you’re funny.” Another step. “You’re smart and keep good company.” Taeyong was inches away at this point. Turning around now would end in disaster, Taeyong was practically spoon feeding him this fantasy he had in his head.

“You assume that. Plus, you’ll be gone tomorrow. So what does it matter if we’re friends.” Mark tried to say it nonchalantly but it came out much harsher than he anticipated. He flinched after he said it, he didn’t intend for it to come off as an attack. 

“Well I know for a fact that you’re attractive.” Taeyong was actually whispering in his ear. Chills radiated from his spine, physically shuttering at the closeness of Taeyong’s perfect lips to his burning ears. There was no way Taeyong didn’t see the goosebumps on his neck, prickling the fine hairs at his nape. “It matters to me, Mark. I think I would like to be your friend.”

Mark’s fight or flight responses were gearing up to kick in. He may be a nervous wreck but he can read between the lines, especially when Taeyong was being very blatant about what was written there. Even “innocent” Mark could pick up that “friends” was not what Taeyong was interested in. Not when he was close enough to hear each other’s heartbeats. (Seriously, what was up with everyone’s sudden obsession with invading Mark’s personal space?) Taeyong was playing a game and Mark was competitive. Fine, two people can play at this game.

Mark took a step forward before turning around to face his aggressor. “Friends, then?” Mark extended his hand, causing Taeyong to stare at it in confusion. If Mark was right, and Taeyong wanted more than friends, he could be the one to make the first move. Ball’s in his court.

Taeyong reached out to take Mark’s hand but instead of shaking, he pulled Mark in. Chest to chest, Taeyong released the younger’s hand. That same hand reached up to grab Mark’s chin and tilt his head up to face Taeyong, not allowing him to look away. Whatever competitiveness and small confidence he had built up melted away under Taeyong’s stare. Did he really think he stood a chance against those dark eyes?

“Friends it is then.” Taeyong’s thumb slid up Mark’s chin, brushing the edge of his bottom lip. Mark swallowed a groan, not ready to falter and end this game. Just as quickly as it happened, Taeyong was gone. “How much more is there left to see?” Taeyong was turning around, heading back out to the hallway. Mark was glued to the spot, his brain going haywire trying to process what exactly just happened. 

“Uh…. about the same as downstairs.” Mark finally got his legs to move and carry him forward, barely able to catch up to his new “friend”. If this is how things were going to play out then today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confident gay panicked gay intensifies. Who will win this game? Also, why are Lucas' fingers stupidly long?


	10. King of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gets frustrated and needs answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than usual! I was really struggling with the dialogue in this one.

Mark was right about it being a long day. The upper level of the museum was an almost exact duplication of the lower level yet somehow it took twice as long to get through. Perhaps it was due to the quantity of items upstairs versus downstairs. Or maybe it was because he could feel Taeyong burning holes into the back of his head as they moved through the halls. He couldn’t face Taeyong after the episode in the ballroom, opting to stay ahead of him and talk with Ten about a sculpture of a metal spider-like figure entangled in a web of glass. Ten must have resolved that there was something going on between the two since he had taken to grabbing Mark and pulling him in to walk with arms interlocked, leaving no opportunity for someone else to approach. If he did notice something, he didn’t speak it.

It was strange how comfortable he was with Ten in that moment. Here he was, talking to the other with hips awkwardly bumping into each other as they strolled through the exhibits. Any onlooker would think they were dating but Mark didn't feel that way. Mark felt calm for once in the past 24 hours, like he wasn’t about to jump out of his skin at any moment. Ten wasn't trying to make a move or do something that would make Mark feel uncomfortable, at least not as far as Mark could tell. Instead, they just talked, neither acknowledging the fact that they’re being rather affectionate for knowing each other for barely a full day.

“If you told me a few years ago that I would be the type of person who regularly goes to art museums for the hell of it, I’d probably laugh in your face.” Mark trudged along next to Ten as they took their time admiring each piece in its entirety. 

“Not the artsy type in college?” Ten huffed through his nose.

“I was too consumed with writing and the occasional party that going to look at paint smeared on a canvas seemed lame.”

“So you were a partier then?” Ten wiggled his eyebrows at Mark, which Mark ignored, not wanting to give Ten the benefit of riling him up.

“Sort of. My boyfriend was, but we didn’t last long.” 

“The perfect Mark Lee tainted by the desires of another man?” Ten continued to tease as he prodded his elbow in his companions side.

“Yeah right, you’re the perfect one.” Mark’s mouth was moving on its own accord and he was quick to unlink arms and slap his hand over his mouth. “I- That’s not- That’s not what I meant.” He finally managed to whisper behind his hand. Ten made no expression and stayed silent, just linking his arms back with Mark’s, pulling his hand away from his face in the process.

Finally, after what felt like hours of standing in silence, Ten spoke. “Taeyong likes you.”

It was amazing how much impact three words can have on someone. Taeyong likes you. That was a lot to unpack and Mark’s mind was racing on where to even start. This wasn’t some neatly folded package that would unravel and reveal all of Mark’s answers to his limitless questions. This was a stuffed suitcase thrown packed at the last minute and thrown out a moving vehicle onto Mark’s lawn. Pieces scattered everywhere and Mark had to clamber to get everything together before it flew away. Literally. Taeyong was flying out tomorrow and now he had this unruly mess to go through and organize neatly before it slipped away from him.

“Kai told me that earlier too.” That was an easy place to start and hopefully Ten could help him piece together this puzzle.

“It’s true, how does that make you feel?” Ten squeezed his arm and pulled him along when the others had gotten much further ahead. The dancer's voice was much quieter now and lacked the teasing tone from before. He was calm and level and that honestly kind of scared Mark.

“Confused, I guess? What am I even supposed to feel? We don't even know each other and now I have stupidly hot celebrities telling me an equally stupidly hot celebrity likes me? None of you even knew I existed before yesterday, how am I supposed to feel Ten?” Mark was pleading, truly hoping Ten would help him figure this out. He should feel embarrassed or something, he’s well aware, but having Ten look at him with careful eyes and a glimmer of a smile kept that at bay. He just called Ten stupidly hot, to his face, and he just watched with endearing eyes. He was probably pretty used to people calling him hot anyways.

“What’s going on?” Lucas had appeared out of nowhere, standing in front of the much shorter couple. 

“How does someone so large sneak up on people?” Mark gasped.

“I didn’t sneak, I was in front of you the entire time. You guys were just way into whatever you were whispering about.” Lucas kind of shrugged but it came out more like an awkward flail of his arms.

“Mark is coming to terms with Taeyong liking him.” Ten used his free hand to pat Mark’s arm still entangled with Ten’s as he tried to escape.

“Ah yea, it’s pretty obvious. He was talking about you this morning while getting ready for your date.” Lucas punctuated with a wink. 

“This is so insane. Do you guys even realize how crazy you all sound?” Mark struggled some more in his fleshy chains, failed, and finally gave up. 

“How is it crazy? He literally has not shut up about you since he brought you to the arena yesterday. I had to share a room with him last night and he actually sounded like some cliche with how much he was blabbing about how fucking cute you are. Just talk to him.” Kai had sauntered up next to Ten at some point.

“Does the whole world know? Why can’t he talk to me first?” Kai had made it sound so easy but he failed to realize that what he said shook Mark to the core. Literally, he was shaking. This was reality, this wasn’t some dream and he wasn’t making this up. He now had three men surrounding him telling him the man of many people’s fantasies had a thing for him. For Mark Lee. And he was just supposed to… talk to him? Like that wasn’t the most daunting task Mark could possibly think about. He would rather tell his parents he was gay than to talk to Taeyong about this. He was fine playing whatever weird game he had concocted in his head to help ease his nerves but being faced with this reality was not something Mark was prepared for.

As if reading his thoughts, Ten let go and faced Mark properly. “We may be famous but we’re still people. Taeyong is no exclusion. Just because we get to travel and go on stage for a living doesn’t mean we can’t like people for reasons that may not be obvious. Look, he’s going to take you to lunch. I’m sure he has the intention of telling you then. Just don’t overthink this, you’re going to give yourself an aneurysm.” Ten pat his head and it actually soothed Mark as he tried not to lean into the touch. This was so fucking weird. 

“It’s not often Taeyong shows interest in anything outside of work. Trust us.” Kai added before walking away to who knows where.

“It’s true.” Lucas was hot on Kai’s trail, leaving Ten and Mark alone again. Ten finally released Mark, who stumbled with the new freedom. 

“I know it’s a lot but we’re all very close and want whatever makes each other happy. You just so happen to be what makes our Yongie happy.” 

“It’s just confusing when all of you are telling me before he has even made a move to act like he feels any type of way about me. This is like some high school bullshit.” Mark shook his head, walking towards the exit of the hall they were in.

“He’s playing it safe, I guess. I still don’t know what goes on in his head. When you find out, can you let me in on that secret?” Ten laughed from behind Mark.

* * *

As promised, Taeyong did take Mark to lunch. They were standing outside discussing what to do next since it was only a little after noon and had the rest of the day to themselves still. Ten and Lucas decided on going back to the hotel to rest. Kai wanted to go shopping and Baekhyun, wanting to play it safe, went along with him since they were without bodyguards that day and something about not wanting to be a third wheel? Mark couldn’t tell if he was referencing Ten and Lucas or himself and Taeyong. 

“Lunch, then?” Taeyong looked towards Mark as the group dissipated. 

“Sure, did you have a place in mind?” Mark pulled out his phone to check the time, or really, give him an excuse to not look at the other’s face.

“You’re the one from around here. What do you recommend?” Taeyong was staring, Mark didn’t need to look up from his phone to know that. But he looked up anyways and was immediately met with a smile and squinted eyes. That smile was a smile that would swell anyone’s heart to the point of breaking. Taeyong would leave a trail of dead bodies in his wake and people would willingly fall in line to join the rest. Mark would gladly lay in that pile of bodies for just a second longer of this smile.

“We usually like to go to this burrito place a couple blocks away. It’s like a five minute walk.” Mark nodded down the road in the direction of the restaurant.

“Then lead the way.” Taeyong turned to face the direction Mark nodded and waited for him to walk. Before he started, Mark had to ask.

“What if someone sees us together?” 

“It’s fine Mark. Just walk. Stop worrying.” Taeyong gave him a push, laughing as Mark finally walked.

* * *

“So why _do_ you have an American phone number?” Mark asked. They were sitting in a booth inside the small burrito place, waiting for their order number to be called. Taeyong had his phone out, saying something about letting Baekhyun know where they were. It gave Mark a second to appreciate his hands, perfectly long and thin fingers clad with silver rings, veins running from his arms to the tops of his hands. Masculine hands, which were quite contradicting to the flowy white blouse he had on. Taeyong was good at that, Mark had noticed when he first heard about Taeyong and his group. One night, at around 3am, he had come to the realization that Taeyong looked good in anything. He was scrolling deep into his Instagram account, to the point where he was looking at photos when he was still just making music, and noticed that Taeyong liked to dress in pretty clothes that stood a stark contrast to his sharp and defined features. For every angle of his face there was a shape or color that wasn’t distinctly masculine and it worked so very well. Today was no different.

“The company knew we were going to be spending a lot of time in the states so they got us SIM cards to put in our phones so we can communicate easier with Americans we may need to network with. Most people we talk to back in Korea use KakaoTalk anyways so it’s just easier.” Taeyong shrugged and put his phone back in his pocket.

“More importantly, how did you know I spoke Korean?” This wasn’t something Mark really registered until earlier when Mark ordered their food and Taeyong asked what carne asada meant in Korean. Taeyong had started talking to him immediately in Korean and Mark just as easily responded since he would often talk to Johnny in a weird mix of Korean and English since they were both raised in Korean households. Mark would consider himself more or less fluent in Korean but don’t go expecting him to write a 20 page thesis in the language.

“In the fitting room, I could hear you mumbling to yourself in Korean. It’s not like there was a door separating us.” 

“Ah yea, I guess I did.” Their number was called and Mark shot up to grab the tray with their food and drinks. This wasn’t going terribly, he hadn’t said anything yet to further embarrass himself. It was only a matter of time though before he did, Mark was confident in that at least.

Setting the tray down on the table, Taeyong was quick to grab his burrito before Mark could even sit down.

“I haven’t had a burrito in ages. It’s been years since I’ve been to America and burritos are hard to come by in Korea. You also can’t get this abomination of what you think is cheese either.” Taeyong bit into his burrito, almost having to unhinge his jaw. 

“Queso is a national treasure. You’re welcome.” Mark rotated his plate around deciding on the best direction of attack. There was no graceful way to eat a burrito but somehow Taeyong made it look pretty. His cheeks full of rice and beans with a drip of queso at the corner of his mouth, Mark had to resist the urge to reach over and wipe it off. Mark gave up hope and just went straight to stuff his face. They stayed quiet for a while, basking in the sound of their chewing before Taeyong decided to speak up halfway through his log of a burrito.

“You haven’t asked me anything scandalous yet, I’m surprised.” He wiped his hands on a napkin and took a sip of some juice he ordered.

“Do you want me to?” Mark asked after a hard swallow, trying not to choke in the process.

“Now would be your opportunity. It’s not often I can talk so freely to someone I don’t work with. I’m full of hot gossip.”

“I don’t even know what there is to ask. I’ve spent so much time just doing research on you guys it feels like I know you already.”

“You really are so innocent.” Taeyong reached across the table to pat Mark’s arm that was now resting next to his food after abandoning it to talk. Mark stared at the point of contact. 

“Actually, I do have a question. Do you ever get tired? Like with all the traveling and having to put on your on-screen personality all the time? It seems like that would be draining.” Mark brushed off Taeyong’s comment, not ready to have a repeat of earlier. 

“Of all the things, this is what you ask. It does get tiring but don’t you get tired of showing up to work every day and writing day in and day out? I think everyone gets tired at some point regardless of what they do. I was trained to do what I do much like you went to school to do what you do. I just happen to have a much more public face than most people.” Taeyong returned his arm back to his side of the table, Mark’s line of sight following it. 

“I didn’t think about it like that…” Mark looked up and cocked his head slightly, waiting for Taeyong’s expression to change from his mild smile but it never faltered. “I don’t think I could ever do that, I barely even see my boss everyday. I can’t imagine having to face new people on a regular basis.”

“All part of the job. Come on, what else do you have for me?” Taeyong picked his burrito back up to finish the job as Mark picked at his thinking of something else to ask. This is something people dream of, getting to ask whatever they want and receive nothing but supposed honesty in return yet Mark couldn’t think of anything. Well except for the burning question about why his friends were telling him about his crush instead of Taeyong himself. But he couldn’t ask that, not without throwing up. He’ll have to try going from a different angle. 

“Do you do this often?" Mark didn't consider himself immature. He never really wallowed in his own self pity or guilt tripped someone. He especially didn't gaslight people like this. But Taeyong was perfect. He put on this perfect face to go with his perfect personality and perfect body and perfect smile. It was almost painful and Mark was tired of being in pain. So, he wanted to find a soft spot, a small tear in this perfect facade that he could peel at to get a small piece of satisfaction. Satisfaction made by finding that chink in his armor, something that made him more real, more obtainable. 

"Do I do what often?" Taeyong had finished his lunch at this point and didn't seem phased by the question at all.

"Invite strange men out that you've only just met only to leave them in the dust a couple days later." He was unintentionally letting his insecurity show but he didn't care. So what he's coming off as some self-doubting kid who doesn’t know how to come to terms with his feelings, Taeyong would be gone and everything would go back to normal. What's a couple seconds of mortification for a lifetime of satisfaction?

"Only with people that I think I can trust, which has yet to happen until now. So I guess the answer to your question is no.” A very collected answer, which Mark should have expected. Maybe the facade wasn’t fake at all.

“Are you saying you trust me?”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t?” Taeyong was good at this.

“I just don’t get it. Why?” Mark was getting frustrated and he wasn’t trying to hide it at this point. Whatever nerves he may have had before were replaced by mild annoyance. 

“Because I am a great judge of character and you haven’t proven me wrong yet.” Taeyong leaned back and watched as Mark struggled with whatever internal dialogue he was having. 

“Why did both Kai and Ten say you like me?” It was time and clearly Taeyong was not going to give him any information without him explicitly asking for it. The need to vomit was long gone and they would be there all day before anything substantial came of this conversation and Mark didn’t have all day. Taeyong especially didn’t have all day. Taeyong would surely have some perfect quip in return and Mark was at the edge of his seat, both literally and metaphorically. 

“Because I do. Is that so hard to believe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really curious what you think of this chapter. The dialogue with Ten and Mark really put me through it so I hope it reads naturally and in character. 
> 
> Stay healthy and indoors if you can! I've been working from home for the past 2 weeks and I'm going to go stir crazy.


	11. No Manners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark makes a decision and meets back up with 4infinity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a section that deals with a past relationship and some unhealthy behaviors. If you are not comfortable, skip the part between the ***. It involves alcoholism. It got a lot heavier than I had planned so I will include a TLDR in the comments at the end.
> 
> Again this is un-beta'd so please forgive any mistakes I may have made.

“It kind of is hard to believe, actually.”

“Why is that?” Taeyong leaned forward, elbow on the table with his chin resting perfectly on his palm and he watched Mark. Mark was starting to burn up, unsure if it was from embarrassment or anger, probably some medley of both at this point. There was no way Taeyong was not seeing the obvious here and was just enjoying the show that is Mark’s suffering. Mark was going to spell it out for him anyway to put an end to this.

“Because you’re famous and I’m not. Because you don’t know me and I don’t know you. Because our lives are so vastly different and the fact that you even have to ask that just proves my point further.”

“That doesn’t stop me from wanting to get to know you, Mark.” Taeyong smiled, head still perfectly balanced on his hand, completely unwavering. Taeyong was providing the bare minimum here and Mark was about to reach the end of his patience. He may be some bumbling college grad but he knows when he’s being toyed with. 

“So, what? You’re just going to take me out on dates and shit while you’re living a life of fame and I’m here in my cardboard box of an apartment? The logistics alone don’t make any of this practical.” 

“Would you let me?”

Mark tensed, eyes glued onto Taeyong. Funny how not long ago he was barely able to make eye contact and here he is staring straight at him paralyzed. Minutes passed, or possibly hours it was all the same to him at this point. Taeyong put it out there like it was such an easy thing to answer. Like there weren’t a million different factors to consider, the most important being that they lived in completely different countries. All the fame and attention aside, Taeyong lived in Korea which was a mere twenty-some hour flight. Even if Mark were to entertain the idea, that is not an ideal situation of a relationship. Mark said as much to Taeyong.

“Korea is a twenty hour flight from here. That would never work.”

“I don’t hear a no.” Taeyong finally leaned back, placing his hands in his lap. It was true, Mark didn’t say no. He knew he should have outright said it but he couldn’t. How could he possibly say no to the image in front of him? This was all so very confusing and Mark didn’t know what to make of his thoughts at this point.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of yes or no. You can’t build something on a foundation designed to crumble.”

***

“Mark, please.”

“Hyuck I can’t, it’s almost finals. I need to study and you should too.”

Mark would go out and party on occasion but now that he was a senior he had a shit ton of work to do. He had to find an internship and start his capstone paper. All of that on top of his already loaded coursework and the impending finals week. (Luckily it was only the first semester of his senior year so he still had time before he had to worry about finding a job after he graduates.)

“This is the last weekend before finals week, I can’t not go.” His boyfriend sat on the opposite side of the couch in their shared living room. It was probably a mistake moving in with your significant other in college but it didn’t matter because Mark was in love when they made that decision. Key word, was. They both were so completely infatuated with each other until they weren’t. Mark wouldn’t say it was a sudden thing or that he didn’t love Donghyuck but he certainly was not _in_ love with him, not anymore.

“Then go without me, yeah? You’ve gone without me before. I’m not even a brother.” 

Donghyuck was needy and Mark found that adorable… at first. The more he whined, the more in love he fell until eventually it wore him thin. Mark was more than willing to give, he would do anything to see his boyfriend smile. Sometimes it was too much. He was a rubber-band pulled tight, the thrill of waiting for it to snap back turning it into the pain of it just breaking completely and snapping in both directions. 

Donghyuck liked to drink. He would ask for Mark to go out to another party and Mark would oblige. It wasn’t a frequent thing but Mark enjoyed spending time with him like any good boyfriend would. He also likes the release it gave him, a distraction from his responsibilities.

Donghyuck was an affectionate drunk, sometimes to a fault. They would go out, drink and dance with their bodies glued to each other for the entire night. A couple of beers in and Donghyuck would be shoving his tongue down Mark’s throat. It was hot for a while but lost it's charm once everyone started to migrate away from them when they arrived. Sometimes Mark would come to a party late and find his boyfriend dancing with some guy neither of them knew but it was fine because he "was just having fun." And Mark accepted that because they loved each other and he trusted their love for one another, trusted his boyfriend. 

Donghyuck was perhaps an alcoholic. It's hard to say in college when everyone is drinking for the sake of drinking. Maybe it was normal and Mark was blowing things out of proportion. He asked his old roommate Yuta about it one time and all he had to say was "Hard to say dude." Except it wasn't hard to say. Donghyuck had a problem and Mark was too in love to notice or too dumb to speak up. He should have noticed from the beginning when he would down cups of cheap beer like it was nothing and dance like no one else existed. There were times where he would be misty eyed and Mark pretended not to notice so Donghyuck turned to booze. He should have spoke up when he had to call one of Donghyuck's fraternity brothers one night when he couldn't get his boyfriend to wake up. They had to take him to the hospital and have his stomach pumped but he was okay because Mark was there and that's all that mattered to Donghyuck.

"Are we okay?" The small gilded boy whispered, barely loud enough for Mark to hear.

"I don't know." His voice also a whisper. Mark was nose deep in the textbook of his lap, not brave enough to meet the face of his lover. Once upon a time he would have flung the book off his lap, close the few feet between them and grab his boyfriend's face and tell him everything was perfect. Everything was perfect because we have each other. That time seemed to have fizzled and now Mark was jaded.

"I don't want to do this now."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because ever since we moved in together it's felt like you've been avoiding me." And maybe it was true, maybe Mark was avoiding the sunlight of Nu Delta but it wasn't intentional. He was busy. 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Haechannie.” Mark finally closed his book, and braced himself to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. When they first met, he had introduced himself as Haechan. A glowing name for the glowing boy. It was perfect, much like everything else about him and Mark only fell harder. Later he learned that wasn’t his birth name but it was okay because they were in love. 

“What are you saying, Mark?” His eyes were full of tears and somehow he looked even more beautiful. His beautiful ball of gold and sunlight could never be dimmed and Mark felt a pang in his chest. It was time and Mark had only been delaying the inevitable all semester. Things weren’t the same between them and it was only to hurt them more and more as time went on.

“Haechannie, I love you so much. I may always love you but this isn’t right. We’re not right for each other and I know you realize it but we’re both too scared of being hurt to say something.” Mark finally closed the distance between them, grabbing the boy’s hands from his lap. 

“Mark, I can’t.”

“You have to. You’re hurting in ways I can’t help, you always have been and it’s hurting me in the process. We’ve been too oblivious and now it’s time to move on.”

Donghyuck was fully sobbing now but his eyes never left Mark’s. And maybe Mark was too but neither of them acknowledged it if he was.

“Mark, I love you.”

“I love you, Lee Donghyuck.”

***

Mark stood up from the booth they were in and went to dispose of their trash. Taeyong stood up and followed, opened his mouth to retort, and then closed it.

“Look Taeyong, if this is what you want, then fine. But could you be a little less evasive about the subject? We’re not children, just say what you want so we can have a grown up conversation about whatever it is you’re alluding to.” 

They left the building and began to walk to nowhere in particular. Neither of them said anything and Taeyong was clearly deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed. A couple minutes of silence passed before Taeyong finally spoke up.

“I realize that it’d be complicated but I would like to get to know you. I’ve never really done this before and I’m sure Baekhyun is going to be thrilled when he hears I propositioned you but I like you. It wouldn’t be anything serious, not at first anyways. I have… prior engagements, if you will. I can’t go into detail, not until I talk to them first. We can make a more serious decision after that conversation. If we even end up there, that is.” Taeyong was rushing through this, clearly trying to hide the fact that he was getting flustered. It was nice knowing that Mark wasn’t the only one affected here but it didn’t stop Mark from getting confused. What did “prior engagements” even mean?

“So you want me to just jump in blindfolded? I can’t do that.” Mark barely recovered from Donghyuck, he had to have Johnny help pick up the pieces while he cried all winter break. Johnny was there everyday while Mark curled into a ball on his bed and sobbed, barely speaking a word to him the entire break. Johnny didn’t know he was gay and now definitely wasn’t the time to come out. He had gone back to school nearly 15 pounds lighter, barely able to eat or leave the bed. He couldn’t get hurt again, not when he was so obviously being set up for it.

“You don’t have to jump into anything. I wouldn’t expect you to. Come back to the hotel and hang out with us like normal people. Then I’ll take you out to a proper dinner and we can talk. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll have someone take you home. You won’t hurt my feelings if you say no.”

“Fine, but you’re buying.” This was probably a very dumb mistake but Mark was grown and could make grown decisions on his own. Taeyong offered him an out, he didn’t have to make any decision he wasn’t comfortable with so what was the harm in seeing how things played out? At the very least, he could make connections with the group which may be useful later down the road. Isn’t this how the whole networking thing was supposed to work? No one really mentioned networking through romantic interests in his business class. 

Mark was learning that he was bad at saying no.

“You drive a hard bargain. Deal.” Taeyong held his hand out, obviously for a handshake. Mark eyed it suspiciously before taking it. Maybe Mark was expecting a literal spark or for Taeyong to make a move but nothing happened and somehow he was actually kind of disappointed.

* * *

Something Mark did not expect to see when exiting the elevator onto the 4infinity’s completely rented out hotel floor was a shirtless Kai running down the hall. Nor did he expect to see a fully clothed Lucas running after said shirtless man wheezing between laughs. The elevator door closed behind him and he looked to his right at Taeyong and just stared, waiting for some sort of explanation or something. Taeyong just shrugged and walked down the hall towards the director the running men had gone.

“You never know what you’ll get with this lot.” Taeyong led the way down the hall as they passed closed doors and towards the end of the hallway. The closer they got, Mark noticed some of the doors were propped open with no one inside. Then he started hearing laughing and voices coming from the very last possible room on the right side of the hallway. Taeyong hummed and headed towards the source. “Of course they’re in my room.”

“I take it that’s normal?” Mark laughed as he followed Taeyong through the door. The room wasn’t anything spectacular actually. It was big and definitely more than Mark could afford but it was just a hotel room with a little more space than usual. There were two queen sized beds with a night stand in between. A dresser type of thing that also housed the mini-fridge and television. On the opposite side of the room laid a very large window with a couch and some chairs. Sprawled out on the couch was Lucas and Ten in the adjacent chair. Kai was sitting on the bed closest to the sitting area, now fully clothed. If Mark hasn’t witnessed what just happened in the hallway he would have never guessed they were both just running down the hall like children. It was like nothing had happened. Ten was the first to notice their entrance and a smile lit up his face as his eyes met Mark’s.

“Mark! Hi!” The other three members turned their head in their direction and Mark flushed under the attention.

“Hi.”

“Where’s my hi?” Taeyong crossed his arms and pouted. It didn’t go unnoticed by Mark how cute this was but didn’t linger on the thought for long.

“Did you hear something Lucas?” Ten asked, a wry smile creeping onto his face.

“I didn’t, did you Kai?” Kai just shook his head in response.

“That’s it!” Taeyong almost growled as he strides over to Ten only to promptly sit on his lap.

“Ow, hey get your bony ass off of me.” Ten swatted at Taeyong’s hips but he didn’t waver, just smiling at Mark.

“Mark, why don’t you come sit.” He motioned to the empty chair beside him. Mark just nodded and took a seat. He glanced around the room, not sure where to look, before deciding to focus on the small table in the middle of the seats.

“We were about to watch a movie, did you guys want to watch?” Kai finally spoke up, looking between Taeyong and Mark.

“What movie?” Mark finally spoke up, swallowing whatever fear he had left. It was getting ridiculous, he had no need to be scared around them. They were all acting like he was their friend so why should he feel any different? This was totally normal outside the fact that there were probably a dozen or some fans outside their hotel room waiting to catch a glimpse of their idol. Mark would know, he had to walk through them to get inside. Taeyong just said not to worry about it like he has kept saying but Mark still worried about it.

“Not sure, is there something you want to watch? We have the entire Netflix database at our disposal.” Kai flipped on the TV and casted Netflix from his phone to the TV. Everything was explicitly in Korean and Mark had to blink slowly to process what he was seeing. Taeyong must have been watching Mark as he spoke up.

“You don’t have to choose.” Mark looked over to Taeyong and just laughed.

“Oh no, it’s not that. I just kind of… forgot? That you’re all really from Korea. You even have a Korean Netflix account. Wait… are those Ghibli movies?” Kai had stopped scrolling through his Netflix feed and had landed on Howl’s Moving Castle.

“Is that what you want to watch?” Taeyong’s eye’s never left Mark, even as Ten continued to prod him the entire time he was on his lap.

“Sure, we don’t have Ghibli movies on American Netflix so I haven’t seen it since I was a kid.” Taeyong might have squealed but Mark wasn’t sure if it was because of what Mark had said or was because Ten hit a soft spot. Taeyong shot up from Ten’s lap.

“That’s actually my favorite movie.” Taeyong made his way over to the TV to better angle it towards where most of them were sitting.

“I’m fine with whatever.” Ten spoke up, standing up from his seat. He stepped towards the unfortunately patterned couch that Lucas was taking up, grabbed his legs and flung them to the floor. Lucas grumbled but sat upright, angling his body slightly so he was facing the TV better, his back against the armrest. Ten stared at Lucas, arms crossed and seemed to be waiting for something. Lucas must have known as he propped one of his legs back up on the couch and held his arms out. That was exactly what Ten was waiting for as he took his spot on the couch between Lucas’ legs and in his arms. Long arms wrapped around Ten’s chest and he leaned back into the vast space that was Lucas’ chest. As Mark witnessed this strangely intimate moment, Kai had leaned back on the bed and Taeyong had returned to his seat.

“Ready?” Kai asked, not looking away from his phone as he clicked on the movie. Everyone hummed in agreement and Kai let the movie play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR:  
> “Haechannie, I love you so much. I may always love you but this isn’t right. We’re not right for each other and I know you realize it but we’re both too scared of being hurt to say something.”  
> “Mark, I can’t.”  
> “You have to. You’re hurting in ways I can’t help, you always have been and it’s hurting me in the process. We’ve been too oblivious and now it’s time to move on.”  
> “Mark, I love you.”  
> “I love you, Lee Donghyuck.”
> 
> On another note, I'm almost done with a spin-off chapter about Mark and Donhyuck! It starts with how they meet in college. It will probably end up as a one-shot but who knows. Happy Friday!
> 
> Comments, critique, and predictions always welcome! I also have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/aquest10n)!


	12. Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gets solicited his opinion and ends up in bed with Taeyong. Mark says yes... again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, not that kind of "in bed"

Watching the movie was actually rather uneventful. Mark was expecting someone to speak or do something but everyone was quiet the entire time, which came as a surprise given how loud the ensemble has been in the past 36 hours. In any other situation, he might have felt uncomfortable just sitting and watching a movie with people he barely knew. Somehow, this was different. He felt like he was back at his apartment and watching some drama on Netflix with Johnny.

As the credits rolled, Mark heard a light snoring sound coming from the couch. He looked over towards the source and saw Ten on his side, head pillowed by Lucas’ chest with his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Mark was clearly not the only one who heard and Taeyong had looked over and started giggling. Lucas glared at Taeyong, causing him to shut up. Turns out Lucas can be intimidating when he wants to be, that look was terrifying even to Mark.

“Let him sleep, you know how he gets.” Lucas whispered, hand reaching up to run his fingers through the sleeping beauty’s locks. Ten really was beautiful, even in his sleep. Even from a couple feet away, Mark could see the way his lashes fanned out over his cheeks, his hair messy as Lucas pushed it out of his face. It didn’t phase Mark until just now how intimate the pair was, is. They seemed inseparable at times and Mark thought it was like a brotherly love but the way Lucas watched the other sleep was much more amorous. Mark will have to remember to ask about that over dinner. Taeyong did say he was an open book, might as well put that NDA to use.

“Fine, but I’m commandeering your room. Come on Mark, I wanna show you something.” Taeyong stood up from his seat and walked to the unoccupied bed but not without glancing at Ten and brushing his fingers across his cheek. Okay maybe this was just how all of them looked at Ten and was completely normal. 

Taeyong had rummaged around in a backpack on the floor and pulled out a laptop, what appeared to be a small midi keyboard, and a large pair of headphones before walking out the still open door and into the hallway, Mark not far behind. A couple feet down the hall, Taeyong swerved into another open room, identical to the one they were just in except for the sitting room.

“What do you know about music production?” Taeyong plopped onto one of the made beds closest to the door, legs dangling and facing the direction of the other bed. Unsure of where to sit, Mark played it safe and sat on the opposite bed and faced the other man. He was already opening his laptop and typing away, paying no mind to Mark’s mild dilemma of trying to figure out the least awkward way of sitting on a bed that didn’t belong to him. 

“Uhm, I took a couple classes in school. I’m more of a pluck-some-chords-on-an-acoustic-guitar-and-throw-it-into-Garageband type of guy than like a professional or something. Why?” Mark’s fingers twitched in his lap thinking about the last time he actually sat down and attempted to make a song. It’d been a while since he actively put his mind to use in an attempt to make a song; he usually opted to just play a song he already knew and sang along to ease his mind. It was calming to let muscle memory take over and let his fingers do all the work while his mind went blank.

“That’s more than most people. Come sit over here, I want you to listen to something.” Taeyong patted the bed next to him, scooting back on the bed a little to cross his legs under himself. At some point Taeyong had lost his shoes without Mark even noticing. Mark got up and sat in the spot as commanded. No more words spoken, Taeyong offered the over-ear headphones to Mark, who put them on and waited. Taeyong slapped the space bar on his laptop and music flooded Mark’s ears. It was something slow and melodic, a simple synth beat that seemed to be building to something more. He closed his eyes to let the music wash over him and commit his full attention to it. Before the song could real any sort of drop or crescendo, it cut off. Mark opened his eyes and blinked, looked over and met Taeyong’s eyes. Mark just raised his eyebrows in question.

“What do you think?”

“It’s good, fresh. I’m assuming it’s your song?” Mark slid the headphones off, handing them back to Taeyong.

“Yeah, I think it’s going to be on our next album. Obviously it’s not done but I think it’ll be a good direction.”

“Is it going to be a ballad?” Mark was trying desperately not to fanboy right now and it was proving _very_ difficult. He had signed that damn NDA without even thinking that he could possibly be listening to an in-the-works song written by the leader of 4infinity himself. Now he was sitting in a hotel room, watching as the man himself tweaked the various tracks of the song. He had to reel himself in and quickly or he would quite literally lose his shit.

“I think so... Ten has been working really hard on his singing which is why I came up with this. I want to give him something to show he’s more than just a dancer, he deserves it.” Mark could see the adoration flood Taeyong’s eyes even though he was still looking at his laptop screen. There was something about Ten that he was clearly missing. Everyone seemed to turn to putty around him, like he was dripping in some sort of sickly sweet honey that you desperately wanted to lap up. At this rate Mark may end up drowning in it if Taeyong keeps dragging him along. Mark thinks he wouldn’t mind drowning to get a taste. 

“Do you think people will actually like it?” Remember that thing about reeling himself in? Any hopes of that had gone out the window. Mark was being solicited advice he had no right in giving but dammit if he wasn’t going to try.

“Uhm… I guess… You’re still new so people are, like, expecting? Different stuff from you guys? Maybe expecting isn’t the word I’m looking for but I wouldn’t say you have a defined sound yet with only one album. So, I guess, if you were going to try new stuff, now would be the time? It’s hard to say with only listening to less than a minute of the song. I think people will like it either way because it’s coming from you guys and you have a ton of fans who will support you regardless.” Mark was rambling, words flowing from his mouth without even fully processing what he was saying at this point. He was too excited to not say something, this was the kind of stuff people dreamed of. “But who am I to speak on behalf of hundreds of thousands of people.” Mark finished, laughing nervously. Taeyong’s fingers stilled on his keyboard and put the laptop on the bed beside him then smiled at Mark. 

“Your thoughts are just as important as anyone else’s. I think you’re right regardless, I’m just worried Ten won’t like it.” Taeyong has scooted further back on the bed, nearly in the middle at this point, and faced Mark.

“You must really love him.” Mark mumbled, not really thinking before speaking as usual. Coughing to hide his embarrassment, Mark spoke up louder, “He’ll like it because you made it for him.”

Silence fell between the pair and Mark was sure he heard a screech coming from the hallway. Taeyong didn’t seem to notice, or at least was completely unbothered by it, and just watched Mark with a blank stare. Mark could feel the acid creeping up his throat, threatening Mark’s lunch. He shouldn’t have said anything, he should have learned by now to think about what he’s going to say before he says it. To turn on his damn brain filter. He had to go and say some weird shit and insinuate something about Taeyong and Ten like he had some right to. He was truly an idiot. Maybe he should get out his phone and shoot Johnny a quick text. _”Hey bro, can you make sure to put ‘Here lies Mark Lee, bona fide idiot’ on my gravestone? Thanks dude.”_ Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea, at least let his roommate know that they may never see each other again. That it’d been nice knowing him and that he can have all his shit. He made moves to reach for his phone in his pocket but stopped when he heard Taeyong finally speak.

“Is it that obvious?” Taeyong’s face was still blank but his eyes seemed to light up with something. Mark couldn’t put his finger on it but it wasn’t something that scared him, nothing angry or sinister behind the look.

“Uhm… is what obvious?” Mark may not be stupid but he was finally learning to not give out more information than needed. If Taeyong wanted answers he was going to have to be specific, otherwise Mark was bound to say something completely out of left field again. 

“How I feel about Ten.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.” This was getting all very confusing. If Taeyong had any sort of romantic inclination towards Ten then why was, or rather is, Taeyong trying to court Mark so openly. Why would Taeyong make it seem like he wanted to date Mark like any normal couple would when he so clearly had feelings for Ten. It seems like he was asking to get hurt again, staring the pain straight in it’s beautiful, perfectly sculpted face.

“You said I love Ten. I heard you, I know you know I heard you.” 

  
“Ah, yeah… I mean… I don’t know. I don’t know why I said that, forget I said anything.” 

“Does it bother you if I do?”

“So you do then…” Mark trailed off, making motions to get up. “Sorry if I overstepped, I should go.” The tension was obvious and Mark’s head was swimming in whatever nonsense his brain could come up with. Something was off and Taeyong wasn’t giving him a reason to think otherwise. He shouldn’t be here. He never should have been here to begin with. All he had wanted to do was show up to the concert yesterday, take his notes, enjoy some music, and go home. This was supposed to be work and now it’s turned into some ordeal where Mark is now involved in some sort of love triangle? What about Lucas then? Why did Taeyong even think Mark had a place in his life to begin with? He had to go, now. 

"Thanks for everything." Mark stood up, bowed his head slightly, and made his way around the bed and almost to the door before Taeyong was grabbing his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Things are different with me and Ten. With the rest of the group. I don’t want to overwhelm you or scare you.” Taeyong didn’t let go of Mark’s wrist but only loosened his grip. Mark didn’t turn around, still facing the door. “I’m not going to say things are complicated, because they’re not. Not to us. It may seem like it to you and that’s okay. Will you hear me out?"

Mark watched the open door, half expecting someone to walk past and save him from whatever "not" complicated thing Taeyong had to talk about. He had some ideas and none of them interested Mark. Well maybe the threesome option wouldn't be the _worst_. However, he was not in the mood to be some rebound or part of some revenge relationship. (This also didn’t seem like some cheating scandal since Ten was very clearly in on Taeyong’s advances.) He had some semblance of self-worth and he knew he was better than that, hot celebrity or not. 

Mark should say no. He really should say no. He should have said no a lot of times before this. He keeps telling himself to say no. It would be so easy to just turn around, say no and go home. But Mark was evidently a masochist.

Mark turned around to find Taeyong staring at where their bodies were joined. He looked sad and Mark’s heart twinged. Moments ago he was so engrossed in discussing his song with Mark and here he sat looking like a kicked puppy unable to make eye contact. Someone who easily commands a room now sat small and vulnerable and Mark really wanted to run away. He can’t be a part of this, he did not want to get hurt again. He really should say no. He also wanted to reach out and run his fingers through the sad boy’s hair, offering any sort of comfort he could because Mark did that. Mark tried to run away when Taeyong was exposing himself to essentially a stranger and that hurt Taeyong.

“Okay…” Mark whispered and Taeyong looked up. A sad smile crept onto his face and maybe this was a bad idea. Mark wanted nothing more than to kiss Taeyong at that moment. To pull him up and into his arms and kiss that sad face away. But he didn’t because his heart is frail and he has half the mind to listen before he makes another dumb choice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like as the quarantine goes on the dumber I get. i can no longer word good.
> 
> what do you think Taeyong has to say? i'm genuinely curious what an outsider would think in that situation


	13. Artificial Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong drops a bomb of information on Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie, the chapter is finally here. Sorry for the delay, I wanted to get this one right and was struggling with some of the dialogue.

It’s strange having a serious conversation in a hotel room. Especially with a person you’ve only just met. Everything is unfamiliar and it doesn't help the unsettling feeling in Mark's gut. Mark couldn’t bring himself to sit back on the bed, that didn’t seem appropriate for whatever was about to happen. He opted for the desk chair that sat near the foot of the bed Taeyong was still sitting on. Neither made eye contact once Mark pulled his arm free and there was nothing on the walls for Mark to look at to feign comfort in his gaze. So he stared at the floor, at his feet, at Taeyong’s feet, but never lifting up. If Taeyong wanted to talk, Mark would listen but he was not initiating it. Taeyong coughed finally and squirmed where he sat.

“I’m not really sure where to start.” Taeyong hummed and Mark could feel that Taeyong had finally lifted his eyes to look at Mark but Mark refused to meet them. He stayed quiet, waiting for Taeyong to continue.

“Right… uhm... I’ve never really told anyone about this outside of our team. I’m sure other people we work with or have seen us behind closed doors probably realize something is up, much like you did. It’s not something we can just tell people so it’s hard talking about it.” Mark finally found Taeyong’s eyes and was met with a smile. This smile was much more put on, Taeyong had seemed to finally gather up that confidence he was usually bristling with on camera.

“I’m listening” was all Mark managed.

“You aren’t wrong, I do love Ten. I’ve loved Ten for a while now. I also love Lucas and Kai. Things get a little weird with Baekhyun but we can save that for a different day.” Taeyong laughed and Mark felt a weight lift off his chest at the sound. Listening to Taeyong laugh was literal music to Mark’s ears, he wanted to record it and save it for his bad days. 

“O...kay?” Mark trailed off. Of course Taeyong loved his bandmates. They’re so close and even Mark could tell they were best friends from his short time spent around the group. Taeyong had even said himself they were like family and Mark understood because he loves Johnny. So then, why was Taeyong making such a big deal out of this? What was complicated about loving your friends?

“We’ve known each other for a while now. I know we just debuted or whatever but we’ve been working together since way before then. We were already spending all our working time together so we all agreed to live together to build our relationship as a team. Things just kind of… grew from there, I guess. Ten and Lucas were first. They were together before SPR even signed Lucas, which he can thank Ten for. We didn’t even know they were dating until we-” 

“Wait, what?” Mark cut Taeyong off. Maybe the whole complicated thing made sense after all. 

“Well, they were being pretty obvious when Ten would always sneak into Lucas’ room when they thought we were in bed. So walking in on them sucking face wasn’t that surprising.”

Ten and Lucas. Kissing. Oh. That didn't seem that complicated though, it was pretty obvious  something was going on between them. Even fans theorized they were more than bandmates by how close they acted even on camera. Mark assumed it was fanservice, but apparently not. So maybe Ten and Lucas dating wasn't that huge of a deal but Taeyong said he loves Ten. Taeyong is in love with a taken man and is trying to get over him by starting something with Mark. That's why he needed to sit Mark down. Before Mark could say anything, Taeyong continued.

“Then Lucas came on to Kai and there was some confusion but Ten put everything straight. Honestly he’s probably better at explaining this than I am. There’s more to it but I don’t want to confuse you more. To put it super plainly, I’m in a relationship with Ten and Lucas and Kai. We all found ourselves wanting to be more than just coworkers, which is another ethical issue all on it’s own, but we’re mature and we communicate. Honestly, I’ve never been happier.” 

“I-” Mark was truly at a loss for words at this point. You can’t be in a relationship with more than one person, that’s not how this works. They were openly unfaithful with each other and now Mark was being dragged into this weird gray area of a relationship. Taeyong was just willing to have Mark submit to his twisted concept of romance. Mark’s brain was really working overtime trying to come up with anything to say. This was so very wrong and every bit of common sense Mark had left was telling him to get out. He should have gone with his gut feeling and walked out of that hotel room. “This is wrong. A relationship is between two people. You can’t ask me to be in a relationship with all of you because you’re too scared of commitment or whatever.”

“I didn't ask for you to be in a relationship with all of us, that's not even my place to ask that on their behalf. And, I’m not scared of commitment. If anything, it’s the opposite. I have enough love to share and I’m more than capable of being committed to more than one person. A relationship can be between two people but it can also be between more than that. I love Ten just as much as I love Lucas and Kai. In return I get the love and affection threefold. I know it’s hard for you to believe but I would like to see you again and share my abundance of affection if you will let me. I just had to lay all of the facts out on the table so that I didn’t lead you on.”

This wasn’t making any sense. Mark couldn’t wrap his head around how someone could love more than one person. He grew up in church where they preached that marriage is a holy union and the fucking sixth commandment was “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” If you loved someone enough you shouldn’t feel the need to seek out attention from other people. Whatever 4infinity had been going on wasn’t love, that was so very clearly lust. If Taeyong expected Mark to have a relationship with him, he couldn’t do it based on sexual desires; he needed a partnership. He needed love and affection, someone to take care of him and someone he could take care of in return. How can Taeyong take care of Mark when he’s occupied with 3 other men? How can he love someone when he very clearly has a twisted sense on what love is anyways?

Taeyong watched Mark in silence, waiting for him to say something. Minutes passed as Mark rubbed his face, deep in thought. Finally, he slid his hands down and off his face, letting them fall to his knees. After a deep inhale, he spoke on the exhale.

"If you loved Ten, or any of the others for that matter, you wouldn't be coming on to me. If you truly loved any of them you would be faithful to them."

Taeyong hummed, cocking his head to the side like a dog. In any other situation Mark would have swooned at it but right now he was too frustrated to be won over by Taeyong's antics.

"I love them more than anything, Mark. Just because I'm in a relationship with all of them doesn't mean I don't love them any less or any differently than if I was in a monogamous one. I get to go home and spend my free time with three very beautiful, very kind, very loving people. I love them unconditionally and they do the same in return."

"If you love them so much then why do you feel the need to come to me, you can get whatever I would offer from them."

And maybe Mark was speaking before thinking again. That little seed of self-doubt growing because maybe Mark did like Taeyong. Maybe Mark liked Taeyong despite this insanity he was describing. Maybe he was doing a good job at it because Mark could imagine how nice it would feel to be loved unconditionally. To be loved without the aid of alcohol or darkness or any other stipulations. He may have his qualms about their relationship but Mark could see it. He could see it in the way Lucas laughed with his whole body when Kai made a joke about American food portions or the way Ten easily curled up into Lucas like they were matching pieces. The way Taeyong cared so very deeply for them radiated from their very existence. Mark always dreamed of having someone like that for him, his One True Love. But that’s the thing, Taeyong was saying it wasn’t just One. Mark would have to sacrifice everything he’s ever learned in hopes of getting even a taste of what Taeyong had to offer.

"Because you’re different from them, you don’t see the world through the eyes of an idol. You’re very caring to those around you, even when you think no one is watching. I saw the way you were with Ten at the museum, people don’t usually treat him so normally. We don’t get a lot of people who treat us like regular people, which I realize sounds very arrogant but it’s true.” Taeyong paused, mouth open like he wanted to say more, so Mark waited. Mark would wait because he was patient and he was trying hard to stay that way. “Would it help if we all got dinner together? We can get something delivered and you can see what we’re actually like around each other.”

That actually wasn’t a bad idea, Mark thought. Perhaps seeing it would make it a reality, something that he could actually process and fully understand. It wasn’t that he was trying to make things complicated, he just couldn’t understand. It went against anything he’s ever known and Taeyong was explaining it like it wasn’t something that was flipping his world upside down. Plus, he did say he would get dinner with Taeyong.

“Fine, I did say you were buying.” Mark tried not to smile, didn’t want to give Taeyong any sense that he was closer to endorsing his idea of a relationship. Taeyong’s eyes lit up, his lips curling up. Try as he might, Mark couldn’t help but smile in return. Dammit, he was done for, wasn’t he?

“Done. Come on, let’s go see what they want to eat.” Taeyong gathered his stuff and headed out the room without looking back to see if Mark was following. Mark stood up slowly, stretching as he watched Taeyong walk out. He was really doing this, wasn’t he? Things just keep getting stranger and stranger and Mark keeps going along with it like he's addicted. 

After a couple deep breaths, Mark was out the door as well. Taeyong was already out of sight when he got to the hallway, most likely back in the other room, and Mark picked up his pace. Upon entering the room he was met with four sets of eyes staring at him with unreadable faces. Mark stood completely still in the doorframe and a chill ran up Mark's spine as he tried not to tremble, resisting the urge to reach his hand out and brace himself against the wall. 

"Oh my god, Taeyong what did you do to him? He looks terrified.” Kai snapped his head to look at Taeyong who was standing at the foot of one of the beds. All of their attention turned towards Taeyong and Mark took the chance to take in the room. He noticed Ten and Lucas were no longer laying on the couch but had separated with Ten on the bed that was not occupied by Kai. He had a tablet on his lap and phone in hand. Lucas was still on the couch, lazing like nothing was happening. Kai didn’t seem to have moved from his spot on the bed.

“Oh you told him, didn’t you?” Ten spoke up, putting his phone on the bed beside him, leaning forward onto his hands. “Cat’s out of the bag.” There was something about the way Ten said it that seemed mischievous. This was definitely a mistake.

“I did. I was going to wait until dinner but you two weren’t being very secretive.” Taeyong motioned between Ten and Lucas. “I told him it might make more sense if he saw how we are around each other normally. Right, Mark?”

All eyes were back on Mark who nodded in response. He couldn’t trust himself to speak normally so a nod would have to do. 

“So, what do you guys want to eat?” Taeyong plopped at the foot of the bed that Ten occupied, pulling out his phone. They all started to talk over each other, throwing out food requests, except for Ten. Ten had yet to look away, watching Mark carefully. Mark could feel some of his nerves melt away when Ten smiled and patted an empty space on the bed next to him. This was only as weird as Mark was making it out to be, right? Mark could learn from his mistakes like everyone else and this seemed like a pretty obvious learning experience. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm dragging this out. This has become much larger than I intended. I was honestly ready to write Mark meets Taeyong, meets rest of group, fucks Taeyong, Taeyong catches feels and they live happily ever after but that didn't make any logical sense. Not that this does either but I like fleshing it out more. Are we surprised at this turn of events? I feel like I was making it obvious.
> 
> Also, oof that's a lot of relationship tags.


	14. Long Slow Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark says his farewells and talks with Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG. I've got a lot of stuff happening right now but it's finally here!

Honestly, not much was different between the troupe now that Mark was on the same page as everyone else. They had all agreed on Korean food, which made Mark laugh and say “You come all the way to America only to eat food you can get at home?” Kai mumbled in response, mouth full of a combination of everything they ordered, “meat is different here,” or something along those lines. (It was hard to tell through the sounds of chewing and smacking lips.) Mark wouldn’t know, he’s never been to Korea but he decided to keep that thought to himself.

They were all back in the small sitting area, Kai on the floor this time, with containers full of food scattered across the small coffee table and perched on knees. Mark tried not to think too much about the fact that they were all dating each other but it was hard. It was especially hard to not think about it when he noticed Kai looking up at Lucas while he went on about this restaurant they liked to go to by their apartment, or when Ten would rub his hands on Lucas’ thigh a little higher up than socially acceptable. All in all, not terribly different than their lunch at In-N-Out, except for the fact that Mark was privy to a lot more information than he was yesterday. 

“So, Mark, what do you do when you’re not writing or taking celebrities out to museums?” Ten asked, clearly trying to help Mark relax. Mark hadn’t said much of anything since he got in the room, unsure of what exactly he was supposed to be doing in this situation. They had discussed food and their next tour stop. They talked about going home in a couple weeks and what they were looking forward to the most and the least. Taeyong mentioned working on new music, shooting a knowing look at Mark. All conversations Mark had no ability to truly participate in because at the end of the day he would be going home back to his normal life which consisted of more or less the same thing every day. He couldn’t relate to traveling woes as he’s never even been on a plane, couldn’t sympathize with the treachery that was needing to put on makeup only to take it off a few hours later.

“Depends really. I spend a lot of time just sort of researching, staying on top of the game. I'll hang out with my roommate if we're free at the same time or I'll play my guitar." Mark shrugged. It was true, ever since he graduated he'd been putting in way more work than necessary for his job. He wanted to prove himself as more than just the freshly graduated journalist. 

"You play guitar?" Ten had stopped eating completely, instead focusing solely on Mark.

"Yeah, and piano. I wanted to be a musician growing up but that was ambitious so writing about music was a happy medium." Mark sighed, contemplating. Life would have been vastly different if he actually did decide to pursue music. For starters he wouldn't even be sitting in this room. He probably would have been broke and miserable and still at home. Mark was good but there would always be someone better. This was just a simple fact of life in the music industry.

“When will your article about us be posted?” It was as if Taeyong could sense Mark’s tension as his thoughts swirled around the drain, trying to pull him back out of that headspace.

“We’re monthly so it should be in the next issue, assuming I finish in time. So about two weeks from now.”

“We’ll have to make Baekhyun get us copies shipped to us.” Kai spoke up, having migrated to sitting in between (more like under) Lucas’ legs. Both had abandoned their food as well, Lucas opting to run his fingers through Kai’s brown hair. It was disgustingly domestic and all Mark could think about was how soft Kai’s hair looked. 

“I can snag some copies from the office and have them sent to you?” Mark tore his eyes away from Lucas’ hands, looking back towards Taeyong who was still watching Mark. 

The conversation migrated to something more comfortable and familiar and Mark was glad. He had a feeling that Ten was picking up more about how Mark was feeling than Taeyong as Ten was often making sure Mark was kept in the loop.After finishing their food, Lucas brought out a deck of cards for a game Mark had never heard of. Luckily he was a quick learner and was easily playing along in a couple minutes. They had all moved to the floor and he found himself rubbing knees with Taeyong on his right and Ten on his left. Earlier in the day he would have quickly pulled his legs in closer but now he felt himself relaxing, brave enough to push a little further into Taeyong. Mark found himself laughing and forgetting that he was on a quasi-date with Taeyong after a while. That was until Baekhyun had peeped his head in and said he was going to bed. 

“Wait, what time is it?” Mark asked, pulling out his phone. It was nearly ten at this point and Mark felt panic rise in his chest. How did it get so late so quickly? He was so caught up in the moment that he forgot that he would eventually have to leave. He would have to make a decision and leave and potentially never see Taeyong or the rest of them again. At least not like this, not so freely. He had completely forgotten that there was going to be an inevitable conversation between him and Taeyong again and he wasn’t ready. He would probably never be ready but that was beside the point. _Breathe, Mark. You knew this was coming._ He thought to himself, so he did. He put his phone on the table, ignoring the stream of texts he had gotten from his roommate, and took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize it was so late already.” Mark hid his deep exhale behind a laugh. 

“Time flies when you’re having fun.” Ten said in English, causing Kai to look over in confusion. So Ten translated to Korean and Kai smiled, nodding his head. They resumed their game and after his turn, Ten stood up and walked over to the couch and pulled a phone out of the cracks of the cushion. Sitting back down, Ten handed his phone to Mark, who just stared at the hand offering the phone. “Put in your phone number” was all Ten said, just above a whisper. No one seemed to have acknowledged what was happening on their side of the table, too caught up in some argument about whether or not Lucas could play a certain card. So Mark did, he took the phone and typed in his phone number. Everything was already so obscenely unimaginable, so Ten Lee asking for his number was nothing at this point. Even if he didn’t sign that NDA, no one would believe him anyways.

“Aren’t you going to Korea soon? What good is my number going to do?” Mark asked, handing the phone back to its owner. It didn’t go by unnoticed how Ten’s fingers grazed Mark as he took the phone back. It also didn’t go unnoticed that Taeyong was now looking at them with a raised eyebrow, but Mark gave no sign that he knew he was being watched. If he acknowledged Taeyong now, who knows what he might say or do, so he focused on Ten. Ten tapped on his phone some before putting his phone on the table next to Mark’s. 

“You should get KakaoTalk then.” Ten smiled, directing his attention back to the game. The younger blinked, watching the side of his face as he went back to playing like their exchange didn’t just happen. Alright then.

After their current round was over, Taeyong stood up and offered his hand to Mark. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” Mark, knowing better than to argue with Taeyong at this point, grabbed the extended hand and let himself be pulled up. He grabbed his phone and looked at Ten, who was watching with kind eyes. Then at Kai and Lucas who were basically sitting in each other’s laps at this point, laughing at something. 

“Can I come?” Ten looked past Mark and towards Taeyong. Mark noted that Taeyong had not let go of Mark’s hand. He looked between the couple, watching whatever silent conversation they were having, before Taeyong was addressing him.

“Mark, do you want Ten to come?” This was a double-sided question, Mark was smart enough to pick up on as much. Taeyong wasn’t asking if Mark cared about Ten coming because they were just going to have a casual stroll down the road. He was asking because the time had come. Mark knew that the time had come to talk, to get answers and to give them. There was only but so much sitting in a room acting like everything was normal could answer. He needed to express his thoughts and Taeyong wanted to know if he wanted Ten to be around for that. This was personal and Ten was just an accessory in all of it. 

But Mark liked Ten. Being around Ten was different than being around Taeyong. With Taeyong, he was on edge the entire time. Taeyong was a cocked gun with a finger constantly on the trigger, impending doom ready to be unleashed in a moment’s notice. But with Ten, he felt solace. A warm blanket being wrapped around him in the chill autumn air, snug but not suffocating. It was insane, Mark knew that. How can someone he was so accustomed to bring him that comfort, especially when he wasn’t even the one trying to win him over. Ten really was just an accessory and Mark thinks maybe he now understands. 

“That’s fine.” Mark nodded at Ten who stood up so effortlessly. “I take it I should say my goodbyes then?” Mark looked back to Taeyong who _still_ hadn’t let go of Mark. He wasn’t sure which was stranger, the fact that Taeyong didn’t let go or the fact that Mark hadn’t tried to escape his grasp. If he thought any longer about it though, he would burn up under the touch so he just focused on waiting for a response.

“It’s late and we leave early so unfortunately, yes.” Taeyong finally let go before it became long enough to become torture to Mark. “Hey, Mark’s leaving.” Taeyong spoke up louder, loud enough to interrupt whatever conversation Kai and Lucas were having on the floor still. Lucas shot up off the floor and was enveloping Mark in his arms before he could even process what was happening. As soon as he was there, he was gone. Dazed, Mark tilted his head up to look at Lucas who was grinning that big dumb grin, cheeks big and round and creasing his eyes. 

“Bye Mark, see you next time.” Lucas was a whirlwind and Mark would probably never get used to it, regardless of whatever may come of this night. Mark noticed that Kai never moved from his spot, opting to stay seated and said goodbye from the floor. He was grateful, Mark would probably melt if Kai had approached the same way as his boyfriend. 

After donning their shoes and jackets, they were out of the room and into the elevator. No one said anything and they were all standing feet apart. It was awkward but Mark was used to awkward. He was a walking ball of awkward and bumbling encounters so this was nothing new. He stayed quiet as the elevator pinged it’s way down the floors. Then a thought occurred to him.

“Are you guys really allowed to just go out by yourself? What about stalkers?”

“It’s not bad in the states yet. I think it’s more of an issue back home, which is why we wear the masks and hats. Plus it’s late so it’s easier to sneak by unnoticed.” Taeyong said, shuffling closer to the elevator door as they approached the lobby. “The worst they’ll do here is take pictures of us but that’s nothing.” He just shrugged, stepping out into the lobby as the elevator stopped and the door slid open. That seemed like an oversimplification, Mark was aware of the creepy fans that followed them around or paid for their phone numbers. It wasn’t as easy as just going out with a mask on but Mark didn’t press; obviously Taeyong had it, whatever it was, under control. Though he did notice that their earlier lunch date went by without a hitch, so maybe Taeyong was right.

It was cold outside with the sun being long set. Mark shivered, hunching his shoulders to attempt to warm himself up any number of degrees.The other two didn’t seem phased as they had much larger coats on, well prepared for the chill. It may be cold but Mark could deal, he was ready to get this over with anyways. Now was the time to grow a spine, even if temporarily. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, let Taeyong affect him. So he straightened his back and went to open his mouth but Taeyong was always one step ahead it seems.

“I’m glad you stayed.” It was soft, with no hidden meaning. Taeyong really meant it and Mark’s heart started to ache. Why did this have to be so complicated? If this was anyone else, a normal person who Mark had met at work or online or something, he would have said yes in a heartbeat. It was impossible to say no to someone as beautiful and as thoughtful as Taeyong but it was still Taeyong. He wouldn’t be allowed to have a public relationship, he wouldn’t be able to see him whenever he wants, he was at the mercy of Taeyong’s job. This wasn’t even addressing the fact that Taeyong had three other celebrity boyfriends who he was also in a secret relationship with. Mark would just be another dirty little secret to add to the list. 

“I’m glad I stayed too, though I’m not sure if I’m any more or less confused.”

“What are you confused about?” Ten spoke up on the other side of Taeyong as they continued to walk down the abandoned sidewalk to nowhere in particular. 

“I’m being asked to be part of something that I will never be able to talk about? What if I want to get married? What am I supposed to tell my roommate? What happens when I’m having a mental breakdown at work and it’s three in the morning in Korea? How am I supposed to be with someone who I will probably never see? I can’t share my life with someone who just isn’t available.” Mark was rambling, panic creeping up his spine. He started shaking and he wasn’t sure if it was just from the cold or from the anxiety pulsing through his veins. It was insane that even after learning about their odd quad-couple relationship, the only thing he really cared about was Taeyong. Taeyong, who was so caring of other people, wanted to add Mark to that list. There may have been reservations about it still in the back of his mind but none of that mattered when he couldn’t even get over the fact that Taeyong would be ultimately inaccessible a majority of the time.

Mark didn’t realize he had stopped walking until he looked up from his feet and saw Ten and Taeyong a few steps ahead facing back towards where he stood. “I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, Mark. I can’t promise I’ll be able to answer every single call or reply to texts right away but I’ll let you know when I won’t be able to. You wouldn’t expect Johnny to answer every single one of your calls, would you?” Taeyong stepped towards Mark, reaching a hand out for Mark to take. Everything in Mark’s body told him that this was wrong, he should give his thanks, politely decline, and go back on to living his life like nothing ever happened. But Mark knew that wasn’t possible, not anymore. So he reached out and took Taeyong’s hand, who stepped closer until there was barely a foot of space between them. Taeyong looked so warm in his puffy coat and the sudden urge to bury his face in the other’s chest swarmed his head but he resisted. Instead, he looked up to Taeyong.

“Can I think about it?” Mark asked simply. He was so very good at being agreeable, if today was any proof of it, but this was ultimately not something he could just jump into. (Even though there was a part of him that very much wanted to.) There were lots of factors he needed to sit on and the presence of Taeyong was not helping him keep his head straight. So taking his time was the best option.

“You can take as long as you need.” Taeyong reached his free hand to cup Mark’s hand in both of his. “If it helps, you can talk to Johnny about this if you trust he can keep a secret. I won’t tell if you won’t tell.” Taeyong grinned, turning his head to look over his shoulder at Ten who was watching everything unfold silently. “Right, Tennie?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ten scoffed, sarcasm dripping off his words. “My phone is always on if you want to talk as well. You have my number now.”

“We should get you home then.” Taeyong let go of Mark’s hand, pulling his phone out of his coat pocket. “Come on, the car should be there by the time we loop around.”

And just like that, Mark was back in the car that started this whole day off. They had seen each other off without much fuss, Taeyong and Ten returning back inside the hotel while Mark was driven away. Mark finally pulled out his phone to address the barrage of messages he had gotten from his roommate when he noticed a text from a number he didn’t recognize.

(xxx) xxx-xxxx  
9:58PM  
Hi Mark :)  
It’s Ten  
  


Mark saved his number and decided to ignore the texts from Johnny in favor of replying to Ten. He didn’t want to think about how he was going to approach this subject with him anyways, so Ten would serve as a nice distraction in the meantime.

10:32PM  
Hi Ten, thanks for today. Have a safe flight tomorrow. :)

  
10:33PM  
[IMG]  
  
_Strange,_ Mark thought, _why is Ten sending me a picture._ He opened the notification to find a picture from earlier in the day, when they were all taking pictures in the main exhibit. Mark was giving his best camera smile, clearly a ball of nerves, but Taeyong was something else entirely. Taeyong was looking at Mark, with clear fondness in his eyes and a small, warm smile on his face. No one had ever looked at Mark like that, not even Haechan, who was arguably the love of his life. Mark immediately started blushing, putting his hands over his face to hide it from no one in particular. And if he saved the photo, no one but him would know, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, did this go how you thought it would?
> 
> Me: ok, now kiss  
> Also me: haha but what if we turn this into a slow burn?


	15. I Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark gets to have a talk with Johnny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a quick little ditty for your Monday (or whatever day of the week you may end up reading this)

Johnny was asleep by the time Mark got home, which wasn’t a surprise. Mark was glad, he could have some time to himself to fully digest everything that had happened today. It seemed like this morning happened ages ago and Mark withered. He really needed to sleep.  
  
Going through the motions, Mark finally crawled into bed in his ragtag pajamas staring at the photo Ten sent. It was a lot to unpack. He’s gone over it in his head every waking second since he sat down in the car honestly. He’s thought about every possible and impossible situation that he could run into. What would happen if someone found out? What if one of Taeyong’s boyfriends doesn’t actually like him in the long run? What’s stopping Mark from being a raging, jealous asshole? He shook his head, Mark wasn’t the jealous type. He thinks maybe he’s just too dumb or gullible to be. Idly he ran his hand down his chest and over the necklace he was still wearing. He honestly forgot he had left it on when getting ready this morning but now it acted as a cool weight against his sternum that seemed to ground him. Maybe he truly was overthinking thing.

* * *

_Knock, knock, knock._

“It’s too early.”

“I’m taking you to work, get up.”

“Fuck.” Mark shot up, reaching for his phone on his night stand. He completely forgot about the fact that he still had to work after everything that transpired this weekend. “Do I at least have time to shower?” Mark groaned, peeling the comforter off of him. 

“That’s fine, I have a remote broadcast later in the day so I’m not in a huge rush.” Mark could hear his roommate walking away from the closed door. Not wanting to make Johnny wait longer than he needed too, Mark quickly got up and got ready for work.

* * *

In his rush this morning, he had almost forgotten about the fact that he had yet to see his roommate since before his date with Taeyong. Now that he’s thinking about it, that’s probably exactly why Johnny was offering him to take him to work. (Offering being a strong word, more like forced.) It was too early and Mark did not have nearly enough time to even process himself what had happened and what he was supposed to do. Johnny didn’t seem to care as he hurried them out the door, locking their front door while Mark finished slipping his shoes on.

“So, how was your date?”

Johnny really didn’t waste any time did he? Mark could roll over and just let his mouth do all the work but that would not end well. There would be too many questions even Mark didn’t have the answer to. Slow and easy would probably be best, especially since Johnny hadn’t finished his coffee yet and would be slow on the uptake.

“It was good. I actually had to sign an NDA. Wait, I don’t even know if I can tell you that I signed an NDA to begin with.”

Johnny stopped dead in his tracks in the hallway of apartments. “You what?”

“I think it’s okay though because Taeyong said I could talk to you about it if I wanted. But you have to keep it a secret.”

“What exactly would I need to keep a secret?”

“I’ll tell you in the car.”

They finished their trip to Johnny’s car in silence, neither being the most bright and sunny in the morning. They could be if they needed to be but they’ve spent so much time together at this point that they didn’t feel obligated to put on nice faces with each other in the morning. Mark knew what Johnny was like when he went too long in the morning without his daily dose of caffeine. Mark wasn’t a big coffee drinker so he couldn’t really relate, he usually woke up with music and time. 

“Now do you care to explain what exactly went down yesterday?” Johnny had flung his bag into the backseat and then set his travel mug in the cupholder. Not waiting for Mark to answer, or even strap in for that matter, he turned the car on and pulled out of their parking lot.

There’s the thing though, Mark wasn’t sure where he was supposed to start. He couldn’t just drop the whole boyfriend thing on Johnny, not now. Actually, is boyfriend even the right word? They didn’t exactly discuss what _exactly_ their relationship would be. Would Mark be able to call Taeyong his _boyfriend_? The thought sent his stomach flipping. _No, no you can’t get excited over something you haven’t even decided on._

“We got coffee in the morning and then went to the museum like we originally planned. You know the one we usually go to? The cluttered air piece was still there actually, I think they really enjoyed it.” Mark paused, waiting for any sort of input from Johnny but he remained silent. So this is how it was going to be then.

“Then we got lunch at the burrito place and talked.” Mark carefully left out the part where Taeyong had admitted to liking Mark and the near mental breakdown he had. “Then we went back to their hotel and hung out.”

Johnny looked over at Mark and raised an eyebrow. Mark immediately reached over and slapped the closest body part of his roommate he could reach. “Not like that asshole. Anyways all five of us watched a movie and then Taeyong actually showed me a song he’s working on. Dude, talk about a dream come true. Then we got dinner and went home.” It wasn’t technically a lie, that is what happened yesterday. Mark just carefully left out the biggest details that might completely ruin 4infinity’s livelihood. He knew if he wanted any sort of sound advice he would have to spill eventually but maybe not before nine in the morning. He’ll be vague about it for a little while longer, he needed to give himself his own time to mull things over. 

“So, what? Taeyong asked you out on a date just because? You didn’t even get in his pants? That’s anticlimactic.” Johnny laughed. 

“Actually, I think he wants to date me.” If they weren’t stopped at a stoplight, Mark imagined Johnny would have slammed on his brakes then and there.

“What the fuck dude? You couldn't lead with that?” 

“I’m not even sure if that’s the right word to use. He said something about wanting to get to know me better. But what the fuck does that even mean? He’s probably already at the airport flying off to New York for their next concert and I’m back to working. How do you even date someone who lives on the other side of the Pacific for fuck’s sake? I don’t understand.” Mark threw his head back against the headrest, thumping against it a couple times as if hitting his head would offer him new insight.

Eventually Johnny made it onto the highway, pursing his lips and he thought on what to say next. Finally, he spoke. “Well do you want to?”

Mark turned his head, finally stopping his banging. “Do I want to what?”

“Date him or whatever.” Johnny waved in Mark’s general direction.

“I don’t know. If I knew that answer to that I wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“His residence and celebrity status aside, would you want to date him?”

“I don’t think it’s that simple bro. I barely even know him.”

“But do you want to get to know him? You don’t know most people when you first start dating, right? Isn’t that the whole point? To get to know someone?”

This was a fair point and something Mark had thought of before the whole multiple boyfriends bomb. Mark could maybe look past the long distance aspect. Traveling while working would be easy for him plus the wonders of modern technology wouldn't hurt. He could also probably learn to live with dating a celebrity if it meant that he could be intimate with Taeyong. Mark was flexible, he could deal. This might have been an easier issue to deal with if it wasn’t for the fact that Mark was being asked to share his potential “boyfriend” with three other people. Mark can pretend to be strong willed but inside he was still nursing a fragile, broken heart. 

“It’s more complicated than that but I’m not ready to divulge all that information on a morning commute.” Mark tried to laugh it off, hoping Johnny wouldn’t push for more information. Johnny, obviously reading the room (or car in this instance), didn’t push. He simply hummed in acknowledgement and continued their drive to work in relative silence, aside from Johnny reaching to turn on the radio. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


All in all, the conversation with Johnny was pretty mild mannered. Walking into the office, he felt like he had solved none of his issues but wasn’t any more stressed now that Johnny knew most of what there was to know. Part of him was expecting Johnny to make it into a big deal but his friend was better than that. Johnny knew Mark well enough to know when Mark wasn’t in the mood and for that he was grateful. Johnny knew what Mark was comfortable in telling him and Johnny accepted that easily. He can worry about telling Johnny the rest later but for now he had to work, which would serve as a perfect distraction.

Mark walked to his desk, past Taemin’s closed door, and sat down and booted up his computer. He checked his emails and then finally opened up his notes. Oh, right. Work can’t exactly distract him if his work centers around the very issue at hand. This was going to be a long day.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Time went by rather quickly much to Mark’s surprise. Part of him thought that looking over everything that he wrote would take him back to those moments and cause him to dwell on thoughts he couldn’t control. Fully prepared for his mind to wander. In fact, it was rather quite the opposite. He found a new fire to help him write, being able to speak from more than just a couple lousy interview questions. He had that edge that no one else would have and it was motivational. Mark was going to write a dope ass article and that was that. All that was left was to go over it one last time and send it to editing. _Maybe I should send it to Taeyong. I wonder what he’ll think._ Mark thought, saving and closing the document. _No, wait why would I do that? He’s going to get the magazine anyways, he’ll read it then._

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he shut down his computer and left the building. Taemin’s office door was still closed, which was typical, but Mark was secretly hoping he would be able to peep his head in and talk about his article with his boss before leaving. He was proud and just wanted confirmation that he should actually be proud of it. That was fine though because it would end up on his desk before the end of the week anyways since he had to read everything that would get published. He could talk to his boss about it then. This was a big deal and Mark was sure Taemin would have something to say to him, good or bad, by then.

Since he had mostly finished writing for today, he was able to leave work earlier than usual. There was nothing else on his plate and trying to edit the article now would be a waste of time since he had put so much work into it today already. He would be blind to any errors he may have made and would need to look at it with a fresh set of eyes tomorrow. Mark pulled out his phone as he exited the building to check the time and bus schedule. It was nearing evening, almost four at this point (3:52 pm to be exact). The bus by his office usually ran every half hour so he wouldn’t have to wait long. Heaving his bag over his shoulder, he made his way and sat down at the empty bus stop. 

Typical routine, Mark scrolled through his messages and emails to find nothing worthy of his time. Next up was social media, browsing Twitter to see what was happening in the music industry lately (or perhaps see if 4infinity posted any update) and see what his friends were up to. Instagram proved to be much more substantial as the first thing he saw when opening the app was the photo he had taken of Ten and Lucas. Of course as soon as he went to take a better look at the picture, the bus rolled up.

On the bus, assuming his rightful spot in the back, he went back to his phone, finally able to take a good look at the photo. Ten had posted it only a few minutes ago so they must have landed in New York recently. Ten and Lucas were both bare faced with striking eyes aimed right at the lens with no particular emotion plastered on their faces. Their bodies were straight but not siff and it was so very much on brand for them. They were beautiful and Mark was the one who had captured this. Mark was the one behind the camera and no one would ever know. No one could ever know and this made Mark feel sick to his stomach. 

As if to make matters worse, Taeyong decided that right this very second was a good time to text Mark. 

Taeyong 🎶  
4:03PM  
I hope I didn’t overwhelm you yesterday  
Do you work today? I hope you have a good day at work :)

_This is so not fair._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be a heavy one with Johnny and Mark talking more. Johnny wouldn't just let this lie now would he?
> 
> Also I have a Twitter if you're interested [@aQuest10n](https://twitter.com/aQuest10n)


	16. Day Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark explains the whole situation to Johnny, gets to talk to Ten, and finally calls Taeyong.

There would never be enough time in the world for Mark to figure out what the fuck he wants. He’s spent the past three hours playing the same chords on his guitar because he can’t stop his head from wandering. His fingers would hurt tomorrow but it was the only thing grounding him to reality, to his room in his apartment and not some fantasy world where everything worked out perfectly. Mark knew that it wouldn’t be perfect, it would be rough and messy and that’s just how the world works. He is painfully aware of it. That doesn’t stop him though, from imagining. Taeyong is in bed beside him and the sun is peeking through Mark’s curtained window. Taeyong is still asleep and Mark reaches out to tuck a stray piece of white hair out of his face. He catches the scar under his eye and rubs over it and down his face. His mouth is slightly open, breathing evenly and deeply. He looked so peaceful and Mark wanted to take some of it for himself because maybe he’s greedy or maybe he thinks that Taeyong would be so kind as to offer some of it himself. So Mark leans in and-

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Jesus fucking christ Johnny, can you knock?”

“I did but you’re either deaf or distracted. Probably both. It’s been two days and I’ve been very good but now you’re in your room wallowing in whatever made up misery you’re in. So, spill.”

Johnny had opened his bedroom door and walked into his room, standing right in front of Mark who was sitting on his bed with his guitar on his lap. He really was distracted. Guess now was as good a time as any. So Mark put his guitar on the floor propped up against his bed and scooted further into his bed with his back against the headrest. Johnny took this as his signal to do the same, sitting and facing Mark with shining eyes focused on his roommate. Mark huffs, thinking of what exactly he should say without coming off like a maniac. This was a completely unbelievable situation and Johnny may just laugh at him. That certainly wouldn’t help.

“Things with Taeyong are complicated.” Mark decided this was the best way to start. Of all the ways to start, that was what he decided. God, he really was an idiot. 

“Sure, long distance dating a celebrity is pretty complicated. But obviously there’s something else.” Johnny laughs, leaning back on his arms.

“Shut up and let me finish.” Mark glared at Johnny who clearly looked like he was about to say something else. “Thank you.” Mark added, taking in a deep breath. _Rip the band-aid off, just get it over with._

“The issue is that Taeyong has three other boyfriends who also happen to be his other members and they’re all dating each other and Taeyong thinks it isn’t weird but isn’t it weird? How am I supposed to not think that’s weird?” Mark babbled all on his exhale, gazing at his lap. Inhaling again, he looked up to see his roommate’s reaction. Maybe it didn’t sound as crazy as he thought since Johnny just smiled in response. Or, maybe Johnny had thought Mark went completely batshit and is deciding on the best method on how to get him committed to a facility without giving himself away. That option didn’t sound terrible, this feels as insane as it sounds Mark thought. “You can speak now.” Mark told his roommate, hoping to entice any sort of verbal response.

“Let me get this right, Taeyong is dating the rest of 4infinity and now wants to date you?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“Holy shit.” Johnny whispered, eyes on the verge of bulging out of their socket.

“I know.”

“What are you going to do?”

  
  
“Well if I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you, now would I?”

“Damn, alright down boy. No need to take it out on me.” Johnny leaned up, sitting perfectly straight. Clearly deep in thought, he hummed. So Mark waited. Maybe Johnny would actually have something helpful to say or maybe just some words of encouragement. Mark will take anything at this point because he’s as good as dead in the water. “How does that make you feel?” Johnny finally asked with no sense of sarcasm or humor.

“I didn’t realize I was at a therapist’s office.” Mark mumbled.

“I’m serious though. Does it bother you? I mean it is the twenty-first century, polyamory isn’t all that weird these days.”

“Of course it bothers me, Johnny. We went our whole lives being preached to about monogamy and finding our other half. Now I’m being told I can have Taeyong but only if I can share. I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

“We were also told the bible says marriage is between a man and a woman and you are very much gay from what I’ve discerned. All of that is beside the point. I’m not going to sit here and make up your mind for you. It would be stupid for you to force yourself into a relationship you’re just going to analyze the entire time. Obviously Taeyong feels some type of way about you and is confident enough in his relationship and abilities to have asked you out. Doesn’t that kind of speak for itself? I think you already know what you want to do or otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting here looking at me with that sad pout because you know I made an excellent point as always.” Johnny smiled only for Mark to reach over and fully smack his roommate on the thigh. That probably hurt Mark more than it did Johnny, as Mark quickly retracted his hand and started shaking it furiously as if that would stop the burning sensation. 

“This is insane.”

“It is.”

“I think Ten likes me too.”

* * *

Johnny was right, Mark was pretty sure he knew the answer all along. He was just anxious and desperate. Desperate that he could make this sound normal, that this would work out perfectly. But, what things ever work out perfectly? So Mark did what he does best, he researched. Most of his job was spent researching so this was comfortable and familiar. Mark could laser in his focus and not let his gut reactions get in the way when he was nose deep in an article. It’s always easier to make a decision when you are more informed on the subject. Mark likes to use his brain despite his previous actions that may have shown otherwise. Johnny had mentioned the term polyamory, which sent him down a very deep rabbit hole. Things about communication and trust were the most repeated sentiments, which made sense. Taeyong was ready to talk about anything Mark needed to, so willing to listen to him word-vomit whatever was on his mind. Other things about terms and jealousy and sex were also there and it helped to put Mark’s mind at ease somewhat. There were people out there who were happy and living relatively normal lives with multiple partners. Maybe Mark was overreacting, he was capable of speaking his mind (most times) and didn’t get jealous (if Haechan was any signifier). Maybe Mark could do this after all.

Except, none of that stopped Mark from laying in bed all day on Saturday dreading over the inevitable phone call he would have to make to Taeyong. Work was an easy distraction all week but now it was Saturday and he had read almost everything he could find on polyamory on the internet. So this left Mark’s mind to wonder. If he said yes, then what? From what Mark could tell, 4infinity had spent all week in New York doing interviews and talk shows and photo shoots. He hadn’t contacted Taeyong since Monday so he could only assume based on Instagram feeds and vague fan accounts on seeing the members entering and leaving buildings. Their last concert was last night, so was Taeyong just going to swing by Mark’s apartment on his way back to Korea and take Mark on a date? That would be stupid. There were so many logistical things he had yet to figure out and he wasn’t even sure if Taeyong knew the answers either. Maybe Ten could help.

Before he could fully process what he was doing, his phone was next to his ear and ringing. So much for using his brain.

“Hi Mark.” Ten picked up almost immediately. Mark didn’t think this far ahead though, obviously, and was now completely incapable of forming any sort of response. “Mark?”

“Sorry, hi. How are you?” 

“I’m good, tired. What made you decide to call me? Taeyong hasn’t said anything about you all week and we got concerned you rejected him.” Mark’s stomach dropped. He didn’t think about the other half of this equation. Mark had been so wrapped up in his own head about this theoretical relationship he didn’t even stop to think about how Taeyong might be interpreting this radio silence. 

“I was going to call Taeyong today, I think. I’m just still confused on how this is supposed to work. I didn’t want to call him unless I’m sure of what I’m going to say. But now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I’ll ever be sure.”

“So you called me to explain? Mark I can’t give you those answers, that’s up to Taeyong.” Ten spoke on the verge of annoyance but his voice was still calm and soothing. It honestly felt like a loving mother scolding you for doing something inane. No real harm done.

“I know, I know. I wasn’t expecting that. I honestly don’t know why I called. I guess I’m just scared of what’s going to happen. It’s not like I’ve ever been in this situation before. How many people can say they’ve been asked out by a celebrity with three boyfriends?” Mark laughed and it sounded painful, like it was being squeezed out of him. 

“It’s okay to be scared, you know that right? I was terrified when Lucas started showing interest in Kai. We had discussed before about a poly relationship but to be in a relationship with someone we work with sounded stupid. And it was stupid, is still stupid. Someone could hurt us with that information and it took a lot for Taeyong to trust you with that.”  
  
“I get that now.” Mark mumbled loud enough for the phone to pick up. Mark realized that this was very much a big deal to Taeyong after some time sitting on the subject. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be much help. You should call Taeyong, he really wants to talk to you.” Ten truly did sound sorry but Mark couldn’t help but hear something else in the background. It almost sounded like a slap and Mark would have brushed it out if he didn’t also hear Ten say “ow” away from his phone. 

“Oh my god, please don’t tell me Taeyong is there with you.” Mark flopped over onto his stomach and proceeded to kick his legs with as much power and he could muster like some toddler throwing a temper tantrum. He really just spilled his insecurities to Ten when the cause was literally there the entire time. This is how Mark dies surely.

“Nope, not at all. There was just a bug.” An obvious lie but Mark appreciated the sentiment.

“Is he still there?”

“Yes.”

“Dammit, okay… I’ll call him right now.”

“Did you hear that Taeyong? He’s calling right now.” Ten spoke, his voice distant.

“Oh my god. I’m hanging up now. Bye Ten.” Mark hung up the phone before Ten could say anything else to embarrass him further. 

Before Mark could further dig his grave, he decided to take the opportunity of no longer being on the phone to scream into his pillow. That was surely the best way to relieve his stress right now, kicking and screaming in his bed instead of facing the music. Mark was a grown ass man with responsibilities and bills. He paid taxes for Christ’s sake. But the only thing on his mind right now was how much he did not want to do this. He didn’t want to call Taeyong, didn’t want to hear his beautiful voice through the phone instead of in the flesh because that would be a painful reminder of how things were going to go between them. Distant and impalpable. He had to though, that was the whole point. He needed to talk to Taeyong and get the answers for those things that the internet couldn’t help him with. Taeyong trusted Mark with such a big piece of his life and Mark just left him out to dry so it was Mark’s turn to trust Taeyong. Mark would trust Taeyong to be gentle with him and help him work through the hundreds of thoughts racing through his head. If Mark couldn’t even gather enough courage to make a phone call, then what right did he have to be with Taeyong. He would just be leading Taeyong on in the long run and that would be a waste of everyone’s time and energy. It was time to be a big boy, so Mark rolled out of bed and stretched. 

“I’m gonna do it.” Mark whispered to himself, as if hearing himself talk would make him feel any less nervous. He finally grabbed his phone from off the bed and scrolled until he found Taeyong’s number. “I’m gonna do it.” He pressed his contact information, thumb hovering over his number. “Fuck it.” He pressed the number and Mark jolted as the phone started to ring. 

“Mark?” Hearing Taeyong’s voice was like an ice bucket being dumped over his burning skin and Mark found himself uncoiling from the vice grip his muscles held him in. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he finally tried to reply.

“Yeah, hi. Sorry it took me so long to call.” This was going to be gritty and uncomfortable but Mark had a feeling that perhaps this was going to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roll credits.
> 
> jkjkjkjk 
> 
> We're finally getting somewhere right? I'm trying really hard to light the fire that is this slow burn. Bear with me a little longer.


	17. Heart Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Taeyong talk logistics and a decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I barely proof-read this one, sorry if there are typos

At some point in high school Mark had his “gay awakening” or whatever it is that people call it these days. He only knew of heterosexual relationships and sex after marriage. He had dated a couple girls before, all very pretty in their own regard but that was it. Pretty can only get you so far. Then along came Jungwoo. It was Sophomore year and Jungwoo was only a year ahead. Jungwoo was beautiful and Mark wasn’t sure how to process that information. He had never thought of another male as beautiful before, that just wasn’t how things were, right? Girls were beautiful, with long soft hair and curves all the way down. Men were fit and masculine and handsome. All hard lines and veins. So when Jungwoo sat down at Mark’s table with his friends during lunch a week into the school year, Mark was at a complete loss for words. Jungwoo was tall and lean and soft. His hair was dark and pushed back out of his face like he constantly ran his hands through it. Mark couldn’t make eye contact and decided that ignoring the elephant in the room was the best option. Jungwoo apparently knew one of Mark’s friends from class and needed to talk to him about their group project. Mark wasn’t sure why his heart was beating so fast and why he kept finding himself staring at his lips as he talked to his friend. Jungwoo must have felt Mark staring because he looked over and smiled. Mark’s heart did this thing that he would equate to something between a convulsion and a backflip so he quickly found an excuse to leave the table before he passed out in the middle of the cafeteria. 

He never talked to Jungwoo after that but would sometimes see him in the halls. Jungwoo would give him that same smile and Mark’s heart would always react the same. He eventually came to terms with the fact that he was into men. Some would think it would have been a huge deal but Mark wasn’t into making things out to be a big deal. So he kept it to himself and did the smart thing. He waited until college to fuck and be fucked by whoever would show interest in him. Probably not the healthiest but what else is college for if not for experimentation? It was just easier to not think too hard about it, that was until Haechan came alone. Turns out Mark was never really good at confrontation, even from the beginning.

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Mark finally asked Taeyong, after minutes of small talk and simple pleasantries. He learned that they were leaving New York on Sunday to finally go back to Korea. They had done a couple interviews with the major companies and even did a photoshoot for Billboard and then ended the week with their last American concert. All the while Mark was showing up to work and sitting in the same chair every day waiting on his next assignment and making final edits to his article. 

“Anything.”

“How is this supposed to work?” Mark tried to sound confident, he really did. But when Mark spoke it took so much energy and it still ended up coming out small and frail.

“What do you mean?” If Taeyong was phased by how weak Mark sounded, he didn’t show it. He talked like he always does, like he knew exactly what he wanted to say always. As if he had predicted how this entire conversation was going to go and had been rehearsing his lines to make sure he hit every cue. Maybe he did rehearse, maybe Mark is just that predictable.

“You’re asking me to date you, right? How am I supposed to date you if you live in another country?”

Without any sort of pause, Taeyong had his perfectly crafted answer ready. 

“I’m actually in America about every other month or so to work with American producers. I’m a producer before I’m a 4infinity member if my contract is anything to go off of. You’re not far from LA so I can see you whenever I’m there. You’re also more than welcome to come fly to Korea, I’ll put you up somewhere near us and you can come to our place. Or we can sneak out somewhere, but that would be a little more complicated.” There it was, the word Mark was waiting for. Sneak. He knew it would be inevitable that this would come up because there’s no way Taeyong would ever be able to have a public relationship, _especially_ not with another man. That would be career suicide, Mark knew that. That didn’t make it any less painful when he heard it come from Taeyong directly. Mark had already had this conversation with himself and with Johnny but for a moment he forgot that Taeyong wasn’t just a regular person he had met in a bar or in line at the H Mart.

“So that’s it then? I would only see you every few months? And only in private?”

“We can try to make it more often than that, I have the funds just not the time. You are welcome to come to Korea as often as you want, I will get you as many flight tickets as you need. It’s just difficult for me to leave when we’re working so erratically. I know having to do everything behind closed doors is hard but all of us have been doing that for at least two years now and we’ve learned ways to make do. We’re fine Mark and I know you’ll be fine too, but you won’t know unless you try.”

“And if I agree? Then what?”

“Then I come see you tomorrow. I’ll talk with Baekhyun to rearrange my flights and will be on your doorstep as soon as possible. We can do whatever you want.” Taeyong was so sincere it hurt. He was telling the truth and it made Mark’s heart wrench. Taeyong wanted this and was so careful in saying everything Mark needed to hear but he wasn’t saying that to try and persuade Mark. Taeyong was only speaking the truth and Mark didn’t realize until this very moment that this was what he was waiting to hear.

“Don’t you have to go back to Korea?” Mark was possibly self-sabotaging but he was scared and needed reassurance before he could take the final plunge. He was pacing but that was the only thing keeping him sane in this very moment. If he stood still he was afraid he might melt into the ground or simply just float away into nonexistence. 

“Not immediately, I have a couple days off to get my sleep schedule back on track but I’ll gladly lose sleep if that means I get to see you.” That might have been the cheesiest thing anyone has ever said to Mark but it didn’t stop him from getting butterflies in his stomach. Taeyong wanted to see him and was willing to completely change his schedule to accommodate. Taeyong was being serious and maybe now it was time for Mark to do the same.

“Okay.” A small squeak escaped Mark’s lips before he could stop himself.

“Okay what? I need you to use your words here Mark.” It was clear that Taeyong was smiling and holding back a laugh; he was teasing him, Mark knew that. That didn’t make it any less difficult to be blunt about this.

“Okay let’s do this.”

* * *

Something Mark did not take into consideration was what exactly they would do when Taeyong arrived at Mark's apartment. They had continued their phone call for at least another half hour discussing what they should do but never came to a concrete conclusion, just that Taeyong would come over and they could figure out from there. Mark knew Taeyong would be jet lagged and didn’t want to drag him out and about if he wasn’t feeling up to it. So playing it by ear was the best option they agreed on. Taeyong would be leaving New York early, before the rest of 4infinity and company. And, thanks to time zones, he would be arriving at LAX also still in the morning. They agreed Taeyong would have a car take him over so that no one would see Mark picking him up from the airport. Taeyong had said it wouldn’t be that big of a deal since he would be changing his flight so last minute but Mark insisted that people would still find out somehow. It wouldn’t be the best to end up on the front page of some gossip journal before they could even hold hands for the first time. That was the plan, for Taeyong to actually, literally, show up on Mark’s doorstep. Lee Taeyong would be coming over to Mark’s apartment in less than twenty-four hours. You couldn’t make this shit up.

The thing about Taeyong coming over was that Taeyong would see his apartment. No one had been inside the apartment outside of a couple of close friends which were usually Yuta and his boyfriend Jaehyun. Oh and of course Johnny. That was a completely different beast he had to figure out, and quickly. So here is Mark, sitting on his bed almost ten minutes after he had hung up the phone with Taeyong, having a mild crisis. 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Mark mumbled to himself repeatedly like a mantra that would someone grant him the ultimate answer on what exactly he was supposed to do now. Does he tell Johnny? Does he politely ask his roommate to fuck off for basically all of tomorrow? Should he clean first? Maybe he should go to the grocery store for snacks and drinks. Wait, what kind of snacks does Taeyong even like?

Mark jumped up from his bed, his guitar falling over from where it was leaning against it. Cleaning first it is.

* * *

“Mark do you want pizza? I don’t feel like cooking.” Johnny shouted from the kitchen. Mark had just finished polishing every single surface area on his side of the apartment. He wasn’t really a messy person but he would go longer than most people probably did before cleaning his bathroom. He was in his bedroom now, changing his sheets as that was the only thing left he could do unless he wanted to scrub every shower tile with a toothbrush. That thought did cross his mind though.

“Sure!” Mark shouted back. Part of him was doing all this cleaning because it needed to be done, another part was because he was delaying telling Johnny about the whole Taeyong coming over thing. He was getting real good at putting things off it seems. So he promised himself he would break the news over pizza. Johnny would be less willing to talk with a mouthful of food.

Mark finished changing his sheets and rearranging his two whole pillows on his full sized bed for the third time. He had about ten minutes before the pizza arrived which was enough time to do absolutely nothing. So be pulled out his phone to check for any notifications he might have missed in his cleaning fury. Turns out he did, he misses a text from Taeyong.

Taeyong🎶  
6:12  
I talked to Baekhyun and got a new flight. I'm leaving JFK at 6:30 and landing in LAX at 9:26!  
See you soon ~

Mark checked the time, it was almost seven. Taeyong would be here tomorrow morning. This was real, this was actually happening. 

6:54  
So early  
Sleep well  
See you tomorrow

Since he had some time to kill and apparently it would be a thing he would have to do eventually, he downloaded KakaoTalk. Not even a minute after setting up his account he was greeted with a message.

Ten  
6:57  
I hear you’re stealing my boyfriend.  
Have fun :)

Mark immediately locked his phone and threw it on the bed. He thinks he would rather face Johnny than have a conversation with his boyfriend’s other boyfriend right now. If that was even what they were now, they didn’t exactly discuss the details. Mark wasn’t even sure if he wanted an answer to that right now anyways, this was all overwhelming enough as it was. Taking it one step at a time was about all he could manage and the next step was to talk to Johnny. So as soon as the pizza arrived he pulled on his big boy pants and went to the kitchen where a single large pepperoni pizza was waiting for him, along with his stupidly tall roommate reaching for plates to put their food on.

Without saying much of anything, the pair grabbed their food and went to the living room to assume their unassigned seats on the couch facing the TV. Johnny reached for the remote to turn the TV on to watch something while they ate but Mark stopped him.

“Actually, I need to tell you something.”

“Let me guess, it has something to do with a super hot celebrity?” Johnny laughed, his eyes crinkling as he looked over at Mark, putting the remote back on their IKEA coffee table. 

“He’s actually coming over tomorrow.” Mark quickly took a bite of his pizza before he could say anything more than he needed. 

“Like, to our apartment?” Johnny put his plate on the armrest, carefully balanced, so he could twist in his seat to face more towards Mark. Mark only just nodded in confirmation, too occupied with his food to speak. “Dude, what?”

Chew, chew, swallow. “I called him earlier and we talked. He’s catching a flight tomorrow morning to come here. I figured you would want a heads up before walking out in your boxers to get a cup of coffee to find Taeyong in our living room.”

“Should I leave? I can go out, I’m sure I can get Yuta to release Jaehyun to me for the day.” Mark’s old roommate and best friend Yuta was dating Jaehyun, who he had met in college. They’ve been together since then and now that Johnny and Mark lived together, they easily became friends with Johnny. Actually, Jaehyun was probably closer to Johnny than he was to Mark. However now was not the time to think about why that was, Johnny was offering an easy solution. 

“If you don’t mind, I’ll owe you one or something.”

“Oh you’ll owe me alright. I want to hear every juicy detail about Taeyong’s sexual prowess when he leaves.”

Mark squeaked and his face quickly went beet red. It’s not to say that the thought didn’t cross his mind, he did clean his bed after all. But to be openly confronted with the idea that he could potentially be sleeping with Taeyong made it a little too real for Mark’s liking. He hadn’t had sex in months, not since before he broke up with Haechan back in December of last year. It was November now, which means it had been almost a year since he’s been sexually inclined with someone other than his right hand or his small array of sex toys hiding under his bed. Part of him was worried he had forgotten how to sleep with someone new, it had been so long.

“I’m not telling you about Taeyong’s bedroom skills!” Johnny just laughed in response, picking his plate back up to start eating.

“Well you’ll have to find some way to owe me then, buddy.” That was all Johnny said before he went back to grab the remote and turn on the TV. Well, at least he got Johnny to leave the apartment tomorrow. Who knows what would have happened if the two ran into each other when Taeyong came over, probably something that would further embarrass Mark.

After finishing his food, Mark left Johnny on the couch to put his plate up and go back to his bedroom. Mark was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, his nerves coursing through his body keeping him wide awake. So he sat at his desk and decided to let the rabbit hole that was YouTube take over his brain. Hours passed of letting the YouTube autoplay do its job and he could finally feel the tendrils of sleep at the back of his eyes. It was well after midnight at this point and Mark finally peeled himself from his chair so he could change into his sleep clothes and brush his teeth.

Crawling into bed, he checked his phone one final time to make sure he had an alarm set. Only a few hours until he would be opening the door to Taeyong, before reality came crashing in on him. But first he really needed to sleep if he wanted to be any sort of presentable tomorrow. Mornings already sucked as it is, and now he has to worry about impressing someone. Pulling his clean comforter up to his chin, he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes. Images of Taeyong quickly flooded the black behind his eyelids. Taeyong in the museum, Taeyong on stage, Taeyong across the table from him smiling perfectly. All memories that quickly warped into dreams. Taeyong reaching out across the table to touch his lips, Taeyong holding his hands, Taeyong wrapping his arms around him, kissing him. Things that seemed like impossible imaginations that could now be real, attainable. Mark’s heart was racing now, he was really going to have a hard time falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wee-woo wee-woo we're getting somewhere


	18. Up From Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong arrives at Mark's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda proud of this one I think, it's a feel good chapter.
> 
> Also, I made a boo-boo in the last chapter, MarkHyuck broke up in December not April so it's been almost a year since they broke up now. I went back and fixed it so if you caught it, my bad. I don't have a beta so I just hammer these out and let fate have it's way with it most times.

Dread isn’t the word Mark would use to describe how he was feeling. Dread would imply that he was scared, terrified of what was waiting for him behind his front door. He was anxious, nervous, every word you would typically use to describe someone before their first date, but he wasn’t scared. Not really. Part of him did think about what would happen if he just pretended he never heard his doorbell, what Taeyong would do if he just never buzzed him into his building. Would Taeyong call him? Would he find his way in anyways and knock on his door until he answered? Would he just turn around and leave? It wouldn’t be that hard to pretend to still be asleep he thinks. But Mark was bigger than that, he made a choice and now had to deal with the consequences. He got ready way earlier than he probably should have and waited. He waited for that little white box next to his front door to ring, announcing the arrival of his demise. A literal devil on his doorstep. 

Luckily (or unluckily, maybe) Johnny was already gone by the time Mark had left his bedroom. That was at least one less plight he would have to worry about. But that just left him alone with his thoughts and his mindless scrolling through Netflix. He would never actually choose anything to watch, but the act of pushing the buttons on the remote provided some sort of distraction to keep him from checking his phone every ten seconds. The longer he sat in silence, the more insane this idea sounded. Taeyong would be here, alone, with Mark. The amount of trust Taeyong had to just show up to Mark’s apartment did not go unnoticed by Mark. Mark could be some crazed fan who would reveal all of Taeyong’s secrets at any point but Taeyong trusted him. So, yes, Mark was nervous but he wasn’t scared.

Finally, his doorbell rang. After what felt like hours of sitting on the couch waiting, the loud shrill ringing announcing Taeyong’s arrival filled Mark’s ears. It almost didn’t register to him at first, he thought maybe he was imagining it. He had been sitting in the quiet for so long that he thought maybe his mind was trying to fill the void. Then it rang again and Mark jumped out of his seat to run to the call box. After a few seconds of hesitating, Mark finally pushed the button to speak.

“Hello?”

“I’m here!” Mark could practically hear the smile when Taeyong answered. How could someone who had spent hours on a plane sound so chipper? 

“We’re on the fourth floor, come on up.” Mark pushed the button that opened the main entry door at the lobby level and then took a step back.

Mark wasn’t sure what was worst, waiting for Taeyong to ring his doorbell or waiting for him to knock on his actual apartment door. The time he sat on the couch waiting for Taeyong to arrive felt like hours and it probably was actually hours that he waited. However, it felt like ages while he stood in front of his front door waiting for Taeyong to make the ascent up to his apartment. It never took long to get from the entrance to his apartment, no more than a couple minutes depending on the elevator’s cooperation and his neighbors. But it felt like days were passing by as he watched the paint on his door chip and the wood rot off the hinges. Years were passing by while Mark waited for Taeyong to knock on his door. Mark didn’t even want to think about the fact that one of his neighbors might see and recognize Taeyong, what consequences would come if that happened. Maybe Taeyong didn’t even think that part through. Finally there was a light tapping on his door. This was it, the moment was here.

Mark opened the door and was met with doe eyes hidden behind white hair flat against his forehead. Taeyong looked soft, like he had just done the bare minimum to get ready before leaving but it worked so well. It wasn’t some stark contrast to how he looked on stage, not quite. He was bare faced but the angle of his jaw was still prevalent, his lips deeply socketed but softened by his close lipped smile. Mark was staring, he knew that, but Taeyong didn’t seem to mind. Mark noticed he had a suitcase covered in stickers and his backpack hanging off one shoulder. He had on a black hoodie and a pair of light blue jeans that ended with a pair of white Nikes. It was clean, simple, and it really catered to the soft boy next door look. He looked warm, comfortable. Mark wasn’t dressed that quite far off either, with his blue college shirt and jeans topped with undone hair, bare feet slightly sticking to the laminate floor.

Taeyong coughed, still standing awkwardly outside Mark’s apartment. He must have been staring too long as Taeyong had started to shift in his stance. Right, manners.

“Sorry, come in.” Mark stepped to the side, closing the door behind Taeyong. “I can take your suitcase.” Mark grabbed the suitcase handle and rolled it into the living room, tucking it away in the corner beside the couch. Mark turned around and watched Taeyong slide his shoes off and then glance around his apartment. It was a fairly open floor plan, the living room and kitchen being separated by the kitchen island with bar stools lining the side. There was an alcove off to the side with a small round table and four chairs. It was old and wooden, a gift from Johnny’s parents when they upgraded to a nicer dining table for their house. Most of everything in their apartment was secondhand except for their IKEA couch and coffee table. Mark suddenly felt self conscious about his furniture, Taeyong probably had all new furniture that looked like something out of an interior decorators handbook. Mark doesn’t actually know what the 4infinity apartment looks like but with that kind of money he can only begin to imagine.

“I would offer a tour but you can literally see everything from right here. Living room, kitchen, dining room. My room is on that side, Johnny’s room is on the other side.” Mark gestured accordingly. 

“You both have your own bathroom?” Taeyong panned his head between one short hallway and then the other, both having their own pair of perpendicular doors. 

“Surprisingly, yes. That was a pretty big selling point for us since we like to shower at the same time.” Mark watched Taeyong carefully, waiting for him to show any sign of uncomfortableness. He wasn’t sure why he was, it just seemed like a good idea.

“Wow, lucky. I have to share a bathroom with Ten. He has more shower products than I do, and that’s saying something.” Taeyong laughed, eyes landing on Mark. Shit.

“Really? I guess it would be hard to find an apartment with four bathrooms.”

“Ten likes the excuse to shower with me.” Mark froze and Taeyong clearly noticed. “Sorry, too much?”

“Uhm… no? I don’t know? I just wasn’t expecting it and kind of forgot that was a thing.” Mark laughed it off, trying not to make Taeyong worry or stress himself out more than he already was. Just because Mark knew about them doesn’t mean that he was exactly used to or completely familiar with the concept. He had a feeling it would take some time before the idea became something that didn’t surprise him at any given moment. Hopefully Taeyong was willing to hold his hand through it all.

“If something makes you uncomfortable, you have to tell me.” It wasn’t a demand but it also wasn’t a suggestion. Mark nodded in acknowledgement.

“You can sit down. Do you want something to drink? We have water and I think we might have Coke.” Mark walked around the coffee table, carefully avoiding Taeyong who made moves to sit down on the couch. 

“Water is fine.”

Mark poured two glasses of water, trying not to shake and spill water everywhere. It was no big deal, just Taeyong on his cheap gray couch in his dinky apartment. Mark could feel his stare at the back of his head. 

Breathe. 

He returned the water pitcher to the fridge. 

In through the nose. 

He picked up the cups. 

Out through the mouth. 

And returned to the living room and handed Taeyong one of the glasses. Miraculously he didn’t spill a single drop. Taeyong thanked him and Mark circled around to sit on the opposite end of the couch. 

Here they were, bodies slightly angled towards each other, sipping on their water in silence. This was as far as they had gotten on the phone, not deciding on much else. Taeyong was here, so now what?

“Ten told me you were confused when you called him. Did he help at all?” Taeyong carefully placed his glass on the coffee table. His gaze 

“Yes and no. I didn’t understand how a relationship like yours could work, it just wasn’t something I was familiar with. I wasn’t appalled to the idea I don’t think, so I went online like any normal person. But it’s not like there’s a guide book on how to date a celebrity with three other boyfriends, so I called Ten.” Talking to Taeyong was much easier than Mark thought it would be. He may have had two days experience with the other under his belt already but Mark was expecting to be struck dumb by Taeyong’s prescense. That wasn’t the case though, the fierce eyes that would devour everything in sight from his view on the stage was replaced with a soft, hooded gaze. Mark felt himself relaxing into his seat, nervous but it sat warm in his gut and kept him alert.

“You could have called me.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m glad you called Ten. I’d rather you talk to him then just not talk to anyone at all.” Taeyong reached over to pat Mark’s knee. It was the first time Taeyong had touched him since he got there. Mark was expecting sparks or some other romance novel bullshit but it was just warm. His hand didn’t stay long, returning back to his person. “So what did you want to do?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? What do two people do together when they can’t exactly go outside? Mark had an idea and it seemed a little silly but there was no harm in asking, was there?

“Actually, I have an idea. Hold up.” Mark quickly got up from his seat and ran to his bedroom. Somewhere in his closet was a box that he grabbed and darted back out to the living room. He plopped the box onto the coffee table, mindful of the glasses of water. “Do you like puzzles?”

Taeyong blinked, looking at the puzzle box on the table. It was a thousand piece puzzle of a river bank, nothing that stood out apart from the beautiful orange hue of the sunset. Just a river, some grass and trees. Taeyong looked up from the puzzle piece to Mark, who was now kneeling across the table from him. “I haven’t had time to do a puzzle in years.”

“We can do something else if you want, Johnny has some games on his PlayStation we can play. Or we can watch a movie.” Mark plopped onto the floor, trying not to feel defeated. He really thought a puzzle would be a good idea. It would have given them something to do but not take enough of their attention where they couldn’t talk. Because that was the whole point of a first date, wasn’t it? To talk and learn about the other person, to determine your compatibility and make steps towards a partnership. To build trust and an emotional bond. You couldn’t exactly do that when shooting each other in the head on some war game.

“No, a puzzle is perfect.” Taeyong scooted down and off the couch to also sit on the floor. He grabbed the box and opened it before Mark could reach for it. He dumped all the pieces onto the table and giggled like a child would. 

“I used to do puzzles with my parents a lot growing up so I stole a couple of my favorites from home. This one is probably like 10 years old at this point.” Mark spread the pieces across the table, pulling out any corner and edge pieces he came across.

“Wait, how old are you?” Taeyong was flipping over pieces so the right sides were showing.

“I’m twenty-two, my birthday was in August.”

“Wow, so young.”

“Hey, you’re only three years older than me.” Mark feigned hurt, grabbing at his chest and laughing. “Actually you’re almost the same age as Johnny.”

“Your roommate, right? Where is he?”

“With a friend, I told him you were coming over so he left.” Mark had finally found some edge pieces that fit together but still nothing that seemed to connect to the corner.

“How do you know Johnny?”

“We grew up together, our parents were close. He’s basically my brother.” 

They went on for some time like that, putting puzzle pieces together and talking about their childhood. Mark talked about his parents and how encouraging and proud they have been about going to school and getting a job, how Johnny was always right there behind him cheering him on. Taeyong talked about his older sister and how they would fight all the time but it was out of love of course. About how his sister was the one who suggested he pursue his career in music and how thankful he was that she did because without her he wouldn’t be who he was today. He talked about his parents and how they were wary at first about his job but now they support him fully. He laughed, saying it was because they didn’t want to have to keep feeding him if the job didn’t work out. Taeyong also mentioned the 4infinity members and how apparently his parents seem to be more affectionate to Ten than himself, but who can blame him when Ten is so very easy to love. Mark just nodded his head and smiled, separating pieces by color. At some point the conversation shifted to food, Mark mentioning that his favorite food was his dad’s burgers he always made on the grill in the summer.

“Speaking of food, are you hungry?” Mark asked and, as if to perfectly punctuate, his stomach audibly grumbled. “I didn’t eat breakfast.” He laughed nervously.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well I would offer to cook but I haven’t done my grocery shopping yet so… delivery? There’s a Thai place down the road that’s pretty good or there’s burgers?” Mark had his phone out and was scrolling through the list of delivery options that were open.

“Thai food is good, I love pad thai actually.”

“Then I’ll just order two pad thais, do you want anything else?” Mark slid his phone across the table so Taeyong could scroll through the menu. Taeyong just shook his head and handed the phone back.

“I’m good, thanks.” 

“Okay should be here in twenty minutes.” Mark locked his phone and placed it face down on the table. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, not to Mark at least. He was easily distracted by the pieces that were easily fitting together, a small piece of satisfaction in completing a full side of the puzzle. Maybe it should have been weird and awkward but Mark thinks he’s had enough awkwardness with Taeyong to last him a lifetime. They had all day to just exist in the same room, they couldn’t possibly fill up the whole time with talking, that would be exhausting for both parties involved. The topic of Taeyong leaving was briefly discussed on the phone call, Taeyong saying he would leave that night since the flight would be well over ten hours of airtime. Now wasn’t the time to think about that though, especially since Taeyong didn’t mention when specifically his flight would be. 

He looked up to find Taeyong watching him with a smile and suddenly the silence became deafening. He could feel his face flush red but he didn’t look away, he couldn’t. Taeyong was spellbinding in every way; it was as if the moment Mark looked away Taeyong would just disappear and he would wake up from the fever dream. It was in this moment that Mark knew he made the right choice, if saying yes to Taeyong meant having the other look at him like this all the time he would have been a fool to say no. Mark would gladly take pleasure in knowing that Taeyong looked at him like he held the world in his hands. He thinks he would be totally okay with living this fairy tale for as long as Taeyong would let him. Mark also thinks he would really like to kiss Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie we're over 50k words now, I honestly never thought I would get this far or that people would even read this so if you're reading this THANK YOU! You all have given me the motivation to keep going and tackle this beast of a story. We're not even close to finishing yet, there's still a lot more to come! I'm curious, what else are you looking forward to in this story outside of Mark and Taeyong finally getting together? I'm excited to write Johnny and Taeyong meeting, whenever that may be.


	19. XOXO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Taeyong get a little personal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) xoxo

The puzzle was quickly abandoned in favor of food as Mark came into the living room with a plastic bag holding the stacked containers of pad thai. Mark resumed his seat on the floor and handed Taeyong his container. Luckily there was still room on the table free from puzzle pieces for them to put their food down. 

“So what are you doing when you get back? You're done touring, right?" Mark handed Taeyong a plastic fork and then returned to attack his own food.

"Mmm that's a secret." Taeyong said with a straight face but his voice was dripping with sarcasm. He then proceeded to laugh, covering his face with his hand. Mark scoffed in return, no real malice behind it. 

"That's not fair! What's the point in dating an idol if I don't get to hear juicy secrets." Mark returned Taeyong's sarcasm ten fold, stabbing his noodles to really drive it home. Mark was only half kidding; he wouldn't hold it against Taeyong if he had to keep secrets but being wise to his gay polyamorous relationship but not what his (probably) boyfriend was up to seemed odd to say the least. If Taeyong wouldn't talk about what his plans are in the immediate future, then what were they ever going to talk about?

"I didn't realize you felt so strongly about idol life, Mark." Mark thinks he would never get tired of hearing Taeyong say his name, his Korean turning it into almost two syllables as he tried to pronounce it in English. 

“Ah, you've found me out. I’m only in this because you’re an idol." Mark said, pushing the noodles around in their plastic bowl. He could get used to teasing the other if he continued to play into it like this.

“There are worse reasons, I guess.” Mark would agree but he figured it would probably damper the mood if he did. So he changed the subject.

“You guys live in Seoul, right? Where in Seoul do you live?”

“Gangnam.” Taeyong said, mid-chew.

“Of course you do.” Mark may have never been to Korea but his parents were immigrants. They were both born in Korea, Seoul specifically, so he’s heard them talk about their lives in Korea before they moved across the Pacific to start a new life. He was very familiar with the connotations of living in Gangnam, the price tags of an apartment there speaking for itself. 

“It’s close to the company. We didn’t have much of a choice since they own the whole building. It’s nice to be able to go to the studio when inspiration hits in the middle of the night. Baekhyun would disagree since he has to take me but that’s what he gets.”

“Gets for what?”

“You’ll find out eventually, I’m sure.” There was an evil glint in Taeyong’s eyes, something mischievous lurking underneath. Mark wasn’t sure if he even wanted to find out now. “It’s not really a secret. What we’re doing next, that is. Lucas is the only one with something to do, he has a cover shoot next week. The rest of us are just waiting for the company to tell us what to do. We’ve been promoting this album for months now so I’m sure it will be a couple weeks until something official comes along. Until then, Jongin and Ten will probably work themselves to the bone dancing and I’ll be in the studio. Who knows, maybe I’ll finish Ten’s song.”

Lucas modeling was a quiet reminder of more things than Mark realized. They all had jobs before they joined forces and that making music didn’t inherently take them away from them. 4infinity was different, they felt more real and relatable. Taeyong has had his Instagram account since 2014 and anyone who had the time or energy to scroll down that far on his feed could watch him grow up through his perfectly curated lens. How he went from posting clips of him with his family dog and pictures of his makeshift studio in his bedroom to pictures of him in his own studio or out at nice restaurants with friends. Solar Platinum Rhythm Music, better known as SPR Music, didn’t make him take it down when we joined the company. They didn’t even make him take it down when he took the offer to join 4infinity. If anything, it seemed as if they encouraged all of them to be so much more public about their life, as if that was the angle they were trying to sell. 

"Sounds more exciting than my job. I do the bidding of Taemin most of the time."

"But you like your job?"

"I do usually, sometimes I wish I was given bigger pieces but I've only been there a couple months so I understand why things are the way they are." Mark shrugged. He could have taken that job with Rolling Stone but he would have felt like an imposter, like he cheated his way there and didn't belong. He could have been doing private interviews with big name artists within his first year if he took Johnny's help but that's not what he wanted. He wanted to be proud of his accomplishments he made through his own hard work. He wanted to earn it and that's exactly what he's doing now. Mark had grit, a determination to prove himself capable of succeeding in something. Mark just also happened to be impatient sometimes.

"You'll get there soon, I’m sure of it." Taeyong finished the last of his food, standing up to find the trash can to throw his food away. "Can I use your bathroom?" 

* * *

Eventually lunch and puzzles turned to an awkward movie date. The couch could fit three people, four if you didn’t mind rubbing thighs and sitting in the crack of the cushions. It was bought with that very much in mind as Johnny and Mark liked to pretend to be social people. Yet somehow Taeyong found himself on the middle cushion, giving Mark no choice but to sit directly next to him. Every so often Taeyong would bump his knee against Mark’s, causing his stomach to twist in nerves. It’s easy to forget how to do the whole first date thing when it had been years since the last time you’ve done it. What was appropriate? Did Taeyong want to hold hands? That seemed like such a cliche that would get teenagers all worked up but cliches are cliche for a reason. Maybe he should get a blanket? They finished lunch about an hour ago but shouldn’t he get a snack or something? Hundreds of thoughts crossed Mark’s find, completely forgetting about the fact that they were watching a movie that he should be focusing on. 

“I can hear you overthinking.” Taeyong whispered, which seemed unnecessary. It’s not like they were in a movie theater or that there was someone else in the apartment with them. It was just Mark and Taeyong, sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Somehow, that made things worse. 

Before Mark could open his mouth to apologize, Taeyong leaned over and put his head on the other’s shoulder. Taeyong was completely unphased by the action, as if Mark wasn’t in the middle of his own gay crisis and he was the very center of it. Clearly not comfortable enough, Taeyong actually sighed and nuzzled further into Mark’s shoulder. His soft white hair was now tickling the side of Mark’s neck, causing him to freeze completely. Now there was no hope in putting his attention back on the movie as he now took inventory of every part of his body that was in contact with the older. Taeyong’s cheek on his shoulder, their shoulders and biceps molded together, hard knees slightly touching. If he focused hard enough, he could feel Taeyong’s breath on his shoulder down to his chest. Mark focused on that, letting the warmth of the other’s breath ease him into some sort of guided meditation as he timed his breath with Taeyong’s. It probably seemed weird for their breaths to suddenly go in sync with each other but Mark didn’t care, it was keeping his heart rate down to a normal pace. 

Taeyong was right, he was overthinking. This is what two people in a relationship do with each other, they sit and they exist in the same space. They talk, they eat, they enjoy each other’s company. He couldn’t keep acting like some poor, sad boy who was still nursing a broken heart. That was something Mark would have to learn to deal with, and quickly. Or, maybe not since this would be the last time he would be seeing the other for who knows how long. All of the calm he was filled with was eaten by the panic that started to seep up his throat again. This was a dumb idea, he really shouldn’t have agreed. Taeyong would leave and be happy with his other boyfriends and leave Mark in the dust. Taeyong who was so beautiful and kind and caring would get to go home to multiple boyfriends who loved him and Mark would go back to his bed, alone. 

  
  


By the time Mark could even begin to hyperventilate, Taeyong was in his space. He has moved his head from his shoulder and was now inches from his face. He reached up to cup Mark’s cheek and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the other’s. His free hand was reached across Mark, using the armrest to keep himself up. 

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about but I can probably guess. You have to talk to me or this isn’t going to work. If something is bothering you, tell me.” The hand cupping Mark’s cheek ran down his face, a thumb brushing against the corner of his mouth, and stopped to rest on the nape of the younger’s neck. 

“I’m scared.” Mark couldn’t meet his eyes so he focused down at his lap where he could see Taeyong’s legs twisted, carefully avoiding putting weight down onto Mark’s lap. Taeyong leaned back some so that they were no longer touching except for the hand on the other’s neck.

“Of what?”

“The whole long distance thing.” Mark sighed. He knew it sounded silly the moment he said it but that didn’t change how he felt.

“I know it’s intimidating but you’ll never know if things will work out if you don’t try. If in a couple months you still feel this way then we can talk about it but you’re already counting us out before you even give it a chance.”

“Sometimes my brain runs a mile a minute and I can’t stop myself from-” Taeyong was kissing him. Mark was trying to make a point but now Taeyong was kissing him and nothing else mattered. He wasn’t even sure what point he was trying to make anymore as Taeyong’s body heat enveloped Mark. His brain started to go fuzzy around the edges once he realized what was happening. Just as Mark was getting used to the feeling of another pair of lips on his own, Taeyong pulled away.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Taeyong had kissed him. Lee Taeyong, of Korean fame, had kissed Mark in his own living room while the idol’s three other boyfriends were probably on their flight back to Korea at this very moment. Maybe Mark should feel guilty or ashamed but the only thing he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss him back. So he did. He leaned forward and kissed Taeyong with all the boldness he had in himself. 

It’d been so long since he kissed someone but it seems to be a hard thing to forget how to do. Muscle memory kicked in and Mark’s hands reached up to find their way to Taeyong’s face as they slotted together. Taeyong gave in and finally put his weight onto Mark and it was a satisfying feeling; a warm, steady pressure against all of Mark’s body. It was Taeyong all the way down and the warmth permeated deep into Mark. It was nice. Kissing Taeyong was nice and it somehow put his mind at ease.

Taeyong smiled against the younger’s lips and pulled away, causing Mark to chase after him. The older just laughed, leaning back in to press a kiss to his forehead. “We can kiss more later but I think we should talk about boundaries first.” Taeyong said, following up with another forehead kiss. He leaned back and assumed his position back on the middle cushion but made sure to take Mark’s hand in his own in the process.

“Boundaries?”

“That sounds worse than it is. Maybe expectations is a better word. For example, you can’t tell everyone about us. That probably seems obvious but I need you to know that it’s nothing against you. If I could tell everyone, I would. But our jobs depend on keeping all of this a secret.” 

“I figured as much.”

“I can’t give you all of my time but I’ll try and be there for you when you need me. I want you to be honest with me, even if you think it will hurt me.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded, smiling. This was about what Mark expected but having it out in the open was a nice change of pace. 

“Is there anything you need from me? Usually I wouldn’t get so serious about this so soon but since I’m leaving soon, I don’t want to leave things open ended.”

“Not specifically. I need…” Mark trailed off and then added, quieter, “affection.”

“I can give you that.” Taeyong laughed and turned sideways so he could fall back against the other armrest, dragging a squeaking Mark with him. With his arms wrapped around the younger’s waist, Taeyong kissed all over his face, his cheek, nose, forehead, lips, making Mark erupt in a nervous fit of giggles. “If there’s something else you think of, let me know. Something me and Ten do are dates every Monday night when our schedule allows. That’s our time and no one else can come with us. If you want to do something like that, we can. I can set time aside to call you if that will make you feel less scared. You'll have my undivided attention so as long as I can give you.”

Mark nodded furiously, he would very much like that. Mark was a little insecure, never really sure what to do with his emotions or feelings. Sometimes he felt like a ship lost at sea, floating where the tide and currents would take him with no real direction. He was at the mercy of the wind, or in this case, his loneliness. He didn’t realize that’s what it was until he was wrapped in Taeyong’s arms like this was something they just did all the time. Mark had Johnny, and sometimes Yuta and Jaehyun, but he was lonely in a way that friends couldn’t fix. He was navigating the seas with limp sails but now he could feel the wind at his back, speeding him forward. Someone else might equate the feeling to an anchor, holding them steady in rough seas but Mark had a feeling Taeyong would never hold him down. Anchoring meant staying still and that wasn’t what either of them were looking for. Taeyong would be the force that took him to new experiences and new seas, a careful navigation leading to better places and brighter days. 

“Then we can figure that out.” Taeyong brushed Mark’s hair back with his hand. "But we can talk about it later, I'd like to go back to kissing now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally


	20. Good Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Taeyong say their good byes. Mark learns something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!! I had writer's block so I worked on something else. Something else being the post breakup Haechan story! If you like Hyuckil, go give that a read! It's the same Haechan from this story and takes place literally right after Mark and Haechan break up. It's called High Tide, Low Tide. Haechan may or may not make an appearance in 4infinity later on, who knows.

"When is your flight?" They had wasted enough time kissing and lounging that they finally returned to the movie on screen, agreeing to start over from the beginning. Mark's head was comfortably placed on Taeyong's shoulder as they had now swapped seats and Taeyong was leaning against the armrest. Mark was now in the middle of the couch with his legs kicked up on the empty cushion. Somehow Mark didn't feel awkward or nervous sharing such close proximity with the other, not when they were just swapping spit mere minutes ago. It's amazing what a half hour of undivided attention can do to your nerves, especially when the attention was coming from someone who looked as beautiful as Taeyong. It melted off of him with every touch, leaving only the warm glow of affection.

"Mmm, don't remind me. Departure is at nine in the morning." Taeyong grumbled, rubbing his cheek against Mark's untamed hair. 

"Wait…" Mark sat up, pulling his legs under him. He bent his body to face Taeyong, a confused look on his face. "Where are you going to sleep?"

"A hotel close to the airport." Taeyong seemed unamused that his source of warmth had removed itself.

Mark thought about saying something along the lines of “you could have stayed with me” but opted not to. It was probably a good idea to not spend time in such close quarters overnight, not so soon at least. There were things that were best kept personal, like his sleep talking or routine middle of the night bathroom trip. Plus, his place was probably a dump compared to whatever nice hotel he got put up in, Taeyong would probably decline him anyways. But still, wouldn’t it be polite to at least pretend to offer? Mark didn’t want to seem rude and make it seem like he was ashamed or something. “If I would have known I would have offered my bed.”

“Don’t worry about it, I have to get up early and don’t want to wake anyone up. Plus I’ll be closer to the airport so I can sleep in a little longer.” Taeyong tugged on Mark’s arm to pull him back down to lean against him. The elder traced a finger down Mark’s forearm and into the palm of his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Has anyone told you that you worry too much?”

* * *

The rest of the afternoon went much of the same. Quiet talking as they leaned against each other, pretending to watch whatever sounded interesting enough to watch but not captivating enough to distract from the company. It was interesting learning about Taeyong through his own accounts and not through what other people said about him online or what he talked about during interviews and videos of the sort. He told Mark about how he wants lots of pets when he’s ready to settle down for good and about how he’s scared when that time comes. It wasn’t something he thought about often since he was still so young but the idea still loomed over Taeyong, and the rest of 4infinity for that matter. He talked about the places he wanted to show Mark in Korea after Mark finally revealed he had never been. Taeyong was curious about everything, always asking questions and showing genuine interest in Mark and what he had to say. So it was only natural that the topic came up and Mark had to outright admit that he had never even been out of the state of California. Taeyong didn’t laugh or tease, instead he told the other that he had to come to visit soon. Mark would have teared up a little if he was the type to cry when he got emotional, instead he just squeezed Taeyong’s hand and leaned further into his shoulder. 

After ordering pizza and somehow finishing the puzzle, Taeyong pulled out his phone, groaning immediately after looking at his notifications.

“What’s wrong?”

“Baekhyun said it’s time to go.”

“Wait, Baekhyun? He’s here?”

“He’s at the hotel. We’re technically not allowed to be alone when we’re travelling. So he’s been at the hotel all day and now he’s saying a car is coming to get me in twenty minutes. Fucker, why didn’t he say something earlier?” Taeyong mumbled that last part mostly to himself. The time had come, Mark knew it was going to happen eventually. That didn’t make it any easier to pry his hands from Taeyong’s so he could sit up straight and look at him. 

“So what do we do?”

“What do you mean?” Taeyong looked down at his now empty hand and pouted. 

“With our twenty minutes.” Twenty minutes until Taeyong is gone and Mark has to pretend that neither of them have an affinity towards each other. 

“I can think of something.” Taeyong grinned before attacking Mark’s lips, pushing him back onto the couch. Mark thinks that they’re moving too fast, that he shouldn’t be so comfortable under Taeyong’s body already. They should be doing the get-to-know-each-other thing still but Mark can’t help but feel a little aroused when Taeyong so comfortably puts all of his weight on him. It’s warm and, god, Taeyong smells so good. Mark would be okay dying like this, which is dramatic, but it’s true. Taeyong’s mouth gives his brain no opportunity to think about the fact that he’s leaving soon and that’s fine. It’s all perfectly fine.

Until twenty minutes is up and Taeyong’s phone is ringing and ripping his mouth away to answer and getting up. No, wait, Taeyong was keeping him warm. Why did he have to get up? Mark didn’t realize he was pouting until Taeyong pushed his fingers against Mark’s lips. 

“I have to go now.” 

“No.” Mark crosses his arms and seriously humphs like a toddler that just had their toy taken away. He still had some proper mind left in him not to tug on Taeyong’s arm to pull him back down. The older just laughed at him, reaching both hands out for Mark to grab and be pulled up by.

“Come on, walk me down at least.”

“Fine.” Taeyong grabs his suitcase and heads towards the door, slipping his shoes on and waiting for Mark. Mark truds slowly behind him, delaying the inevitable. “You’re acting like you’ll never see me again.”

Taeyong said that as if it was a matter of fact, that Mark would see Taeyong again and that was that. It was probably true but Mark had a hard time wrapping his head around all of this still. Everything has felt like a dream and he was fully prepared to wake up tomorrow and realize everything was a dream. A very detailed dream, but a dream nonetheless. Taeyong could easily go back home and decide that he had his fun with Mark and was now done with him, thrown to the curb like a trinket he never really wanted but bought anyways for the sake of it. Mark wouldn’t blame him; Mark was so very unimpressive, paling in comparison to Kai, Ten, and Lucas. Kai, Ten, and Lucas. The entire time he was with Taeyong he didn’t even spend more than a second thinking about them. All of last week he was so engrossed with the concept only for it to be placed on the backburner during his time with Taeyong. Mark was smart enough to not voice his concerns, instead just hummed and reached out to take Taeyong’s suitcase as they approached the elevator.

“What’s the first thing you’ll do when you get back home?” Mark pushed the elevator button to go down. 

“Take a nap probably, it’s been a long tour.” 

“Okay well after you take your nap.” Mark laughed, nudging Taeyong in the rib as the elevator door opened.

“Straight to the studio I guess. Unless I get roped into something else.” Taeyong shrugged. The elevator descended as the two stood in silence. Mark wasn’t sure what else to say at this point. He was about to be thrown into uncharted territory without even as much as a compass to help map his way. What does someone even say to their long distance celebrity boyfriend when they’re about to leave?

Taeyong reached his hand out to pull on Mark’s ear. “It’ll be fine. I’ll text you every day and we can plan your trip to Korea if you want.” Mark nodded in response, not sure if he would even be capable of forming a proper, logical response. They walked out the elevator and through what would probably be called a lobby. The driver of the black car idling outside got out of the car as they approached and took the suitcase from Mark, giving his greetings as he went to put the luggage in the trunk. 

“Text me when you get to the hotel?” Mark didn’t want to sound clingy but he was sure that’s how it came out anyways.

“Yeah, I will.” Taeyong stepped into Mark’s space and kissed him. It was soft and quick, slightly more than a graze of lips. If Mark didn’t watch it happen, he would have doubted it happened at all. A taste of panic dripped through his chest when he realized they were outside, in public. Taeyong easily subsided it when he reached out to squeeze Mark’s hand. “Start thinking about when you want to come visit. I really want you to come, and soon.” A smile flashed across the older’s face, dazzling Mark. God, he was going to miss this. A couple days together and he was already suckered into Taeyong’s entire existence. 

“Mmm, I’ll talk to Taemin about vacation days tomorrow.” Mark squeezed Taeyong’s hand, not wanting to let go.

“I’ll see you soon then, Mark.” Taeyong squeezed back, then finally letting go of Mark’s hand. 

“Bye.” Mark squeaked as Taeyong stepped back and finally got into the car. It was probably better to not make it into a big deal so Mark tried to keep his brain from racing. Obviously that was a lost cause but he could at least say he tried. It seemed like this should be a big deal, that Mark should be freaking out. Mark should be devastated or upset or anything that would show he was affected by Taeyong leaving him for an indefinite amount of time. Instead, he was struck still in shock. He could only think about the fact that he was actually happy. It was a little bittersweet, sure, but Taeyong made him feel happy. Mark had spent so much of his energy worrying about the past and the future that he didn’t think to stop at any point to think about right now. And right now, Taeyong was gone, leaving behind a cage of butterflies in Mark’s stomach.

Mark watched as Taeyong waved out the window, grinning as the car drove away. That was Mark’s boyfriend, in and out like a summer storm. There would be more storms to come to cool off the heat and Mark would be ready this time around. Once the car was out of sight, he shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to head back inside. Before he could even take a step, he heard a whistling from behind him and then felt a hand grab his shoulder. A silent scream formed in Mark’s mouth, too disoriented to vocalize it.

“You even got a kiss goodbye dude, you’re in deep aren’t you?”

Johnny.

“What the fuck, you can’t just sneak up on me. Jesus Christ Johnny.” Mark managed to cough out, his heart now racing a mile a minute. “Why were you watching us anyways?”

“I just got back and saw a sleek, black car sitting there so I figured it had to be for a certain someone of known fame. I figured he was leaving and didn’t want to interrupt so I stood by my car and waited. I was right, obviously.” Johnny dragged Mark into their building, not letting go of his shoulder.

“You could have at least pretended you didn’t see or something.” Mark rolled his shoulder, trying to release Johnny’s grip. Proving to be ineffective, Mark stopped trying as they rode up the elevator.

“Not my style.”

“Clearly.”

“He’s hot though, pictures don’t do him justice.” Johnny pushed the button for their floor as the door closed.

“I don’t need to hear you talking about how hot my boyfriend is right now.” Shit, did he really say that out loud? He called Taeyong his boyfriend and didn’t even hesitate on the word. He could barely acknowledge the fact to himself and now he was just saying it to Johnny like it was nothing. Before Johnny could taunt Mark even further, he changed the subject. “How’s Jaehyun?”

“He’s fine, I think Yuta is mad at him though.” The doors opened and they made their way to their apartment.

“Why?”

“We went to go see a movie and Yuta said something about him spending more time with me than him. He probably thinks I’m trying to steal his boyfriend.” Johnny pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. 

“Are you?” Mark was joking, clearly. Jaehyun and Yuta loved each other, Mark got to witness most of their relationship unfold so he knew more than anyone how much they loved each other. Or, so he thought.

“No?” Johnny’s voice went up, clearly indicating a question. 

“Is that a question?” Mark asked, slightly confused.

“No.” Liar. Johnny was lying, why would he lie? 

“Oh my god, do you like Jaehyun? Wait, Johnny are you gay?” All the time that Mark knew Johnny, he had never once mentioned a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter. Mark had mentioned his sad attempts at a love life with girls in high school but Johnny never had much input. Did they both really hide being gay from each other all this time? What would the chances of that be?

“Uhm, maybe.”

“Maybe to what? Being gay or liking Jaehyun?” Mark was starting to get frustrated. Johnny was avoiding the questions when it should have been a simple ‘No, Mark, I am not trying to steal your best friend’s boyfriend.’ 

“Yes.”

“For fuck’s sake, Johnny we’re talking about this.” Mark shoved Johnny into their living room and onto the couch. The couch that Taeyong was just sitting in less than twenty minutes ago. That was not what he was worried about though, not when Johnny is apparently gay and trying to become a homewrecker all in one day. One thing at a time, Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always! Comments always appreciated. What do you think about this Johnny development? I had no intention of that happening but it just felt right.


	21. Sun&Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark talks to Taemin and dips his toes into the long distance thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO sorry this one took so long, I've been working on some other stuff. There's a lot of texting in this chapter since Taeyong is gone now and they do a lot of communication via text. I tried to make it easy to read and left out small talk and stuff that doesn't matter heavily to the plot but they do talk a fair amount outside of what's in the story.

“So let me get this straight,” Mark said, running his hands through his hair, “you have a crush on Jaehyun? And Jaehyun knows?”

“I think so.” Johnny had gotten up from the couch after Mark was done interrogating him. 

“You think Jaehyun knows. So what are you going to do about it?” It took some digging but Johnny had finally spilled. Johnny had said he wasn’t sure when he developed this ‘crush’ but he knew that’s what it was. He knew it wasn’t right, that Jaehyun was in love with Yuta, but he couldn’t stop his feelings. Mark couldn’t really blame him, Jaehyun was hot and funny and kind, a total package deal. However, Mark didn’t have a crush on Jaehyun because Mark is a rational person who didn’t go around crushing on taken boys. Johnny was asking for trouble.

“Nothing. Same as I’ve been doing.” Johnny was in the kitchen now, pulling beers out of the fridge.

“Right. So you’re just going to keep hanging out with Jaehyun and hope the crush goes away?” That was such an unbelievably stupid idea, someone was going to end up hurt.

“There’s nothing else I can do. He’s still my best friend. If he’s happy with Yuta then I’m happy for him. I’m not going to stop being his friend or try to break up his relationship. I’m not that much of an asshole.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you have a hot date to tell me about.” Johnny walked back to the couch and handed Mark the beer he wasn’t currently sipping from.

“I can’t believe you’re gay.” Mark huffed, leaning back in his seat before taking a swig of the beer. He hated beer.

“You’re avoiding the subject. Classic Mark move.”

“Shut up. It was fine. We did a puzzle.” Mark motioned towards the completed puzzle still laying on the coffee table as he put his beer down. 

“Wow, thrilling.”

“We watched a movie and ate. I don’t know, dude, we just did normal date shit.” Mark pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the completed puzzle before crunching the puzzle together to take it apart to put back in it’s box. 

“Normal date shit.”

“Yes.”

“Did you fuck?” Mark stopped sliding the pieces into the box to stare at his roommate, jaw metaphorically on the floor.

“Oh my god. No we didn’t, not like it’s any of your business anyways.”

“Damn, that’s a shame.”

“Says the one who’s got one sided feelings for a taken man.” Now it was Johnny’s turn to stare at Mark open-mouthed. He gained his composure much quicker though, quickly reaching out to slap the side of Mark’s arm. 

“Rude. You kissed at least.”

“He wants me to come to Korea. He basically said he’ll pay for the entire trip, so I’m talking to Taemin tomorrow about when I can use vacation days.”

“Sounds like you got a sugar daddy.”

“I- He- He’s not my sugar daddy?” Mark wasn’t sure why it came out as a question, he meant it to come out offended or shocked. Instead it came out confused and he hoped Johnny didn’t take it the wrong way. 

“He might as well be, he was carrying a Balenciaga backpack,” Johnny scoffed, looking too amused over an accessory. “When are you thinking of going?”

“I don’t know, soon I think. Depends on my schedule. And Taeyong’s too, I guess.”

Johnny just murmured something inaudible in response, picking up the TV remote on the coffee table. Mark finished cleaning up the puzzle, leaving Johnny to his own devices. He dumped his half-finished beer down the sink and then headed back to his bedroom to put the puzzle box back where it belonged. 

As Mark was closing the closet door, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Taeyong🎶  
9:36PM  
Hi. I’m at the hotel now.   
Thank you for today :)

9:37PM  
I had fun. Get lots of sleep and have a safe flight

9:37PM  
Good night

9:38PM  
Good night

  
  


* * *

It turns out that being a writer is a very portable job. All Mark needs is his laptop or phone and he can essentially work from anywhere. In fact, that was one of Mark’s favorite parts of the job. He could work on something at his computer at the office and pull up the same document on his phone while inspiration hit him at odd hours. He was pretty confident that Taemin would be fine in letting Mark take off from work whenever he wanted, but somehow Mark was nervous. He could have sent a concise email, not giving any details about why he was trying to take off, but Taemin was Taemin. If Mark sent an email, his boss would find his way over to his desk and start to get nosy. So talking to him in person to direct the conversation in the way Mark wanted was easier, not allowing Taemin to start and steer it himself. 

8:15AM  
When do you think I should come to Korea?  
I’m going to ask for time off but I figured I should see when you’re free so I don’t pick a time when you’re busy or something.

8:28AM  
How about the beginning of December? We’re traveling the week before Christmas to visit family so you can come before then. How about the second week?  
That will give me enough time to get everything squared away.

8:30AM  
Sounds good. I’ll let you know what the boss says

8:35AM  
We just finished boarding. I’ll talk to you when we land. 

8:36AM  
Fly safe :)

“Hey Taemin. Do you have a second?” Mark was peeking around the corner of Taemin’s open door.

“Sure, come in. Close the door.” Taemin was on his phone, furiously typing, as Mark entered and closed the door behind him. Taemin’s office was pretty simple, neat but with pops of his personal life throughout. A bookshelf full of every published issue of SM Magazine stood on the wall to the left of Taemin’s desk. On the right was a wall of windows with frames of photos on the sill. In the frames were images of Taemin and his friends in weird poses and even weirder outfits. Taemin never talked much about his personal life during working hours and Mark never had the pleasure of knowing Taemin outside of work. But Mark could recognize one of the faces in the photos as Kibum. Kibum was a Korean singer that Mark’s parents listened to when Mark was younger. Mark wonders just how much Taemin was privy to, it seemed his bank of acquaintances was much fuller than Mark had realized.

“I need to take some vacation days.”

“Oooh, fun. Let me open my calendar.” Taemin put his phone down to rotate in his chair to use his computer. “When do you need off?”

“The second week of December. I’m not sure if you had anything planned for me already I know it’s only a couple weeks away.”

“You’re fine Mark. I have other employees, don’t worry your pretty head.” Taemin was typing in his computer before he finally looked up at Mark. He had a look in his eyes, something troublesome and Mark mentally prepared himself for the question he, of course, was going to ask. “Anything fun planned?”

“Just needed some time off, is all. I might go visit some friends, I’m still trying to figure it out.” Taemin shrunk in his seat, disappointed in Mark’s answer. Taemin loved to talk but Mark didn’t so Taemin learned quickly what was a lost cause between them.

“The whole week? I don’t have anything in particular assigned to you yet. You’re good to go, make sure you tell HR.”

“Thanks.” Mark smiled and walked to the door.

“Oh, and Mark?” Of course, it would be too easy to leave this office without Taemin coming up with something. Mark turned around, hand on the door handle, waiting for his boss to continue. “Love looks good on you.”

* * *

  
  


Monday, November 16, 2020

Taeyong🎶  
11:43PM  
I’m so tired  
Also, hi I just got home  
I would have messaged earlier but getting out of Incheon is a pain

11:46PM  
You don’t have to apologize  
How’s the weather lol

11:48PM  
Cold, always cold.  
Everyone is awake already but I’m ready to go to bed

11:49PM  
Then go to sleep?

11:50PM  
I wanted to talk to you first  
How was your day?

11:51PM  
Fine  
Oh wait  
I got the whole second week of December off!!

11:52PM  
Awesome!  
I’ll start making arrangements, there’s a nice hotel a street over with an amazing view of the river. I can’t wait to see you again 

11:53PM  
Me too  
I’m going to bed now, good night

11:54PM  
Good night Mark

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

2:08AM  
I know you’re probably asleep but  
Ten convinced everyone we needed a cat  
And of course Lucas got upset because he’s a dog person  
So somehow Lucas convinced us we also needed a dog  
[IMG]  
So now we have a cat and a dog, even though I explicitly told them we travel too much and we needed to wait  
But you really can’t say no to Ten and when Lucas give you those puppy dog eyes you just  
Want to give him everything he asks for

6:45AM  
Oh  
My  
God  
They’re so cute!! What are their names??  
Did you get any sleep last night?  
Or I guess it was this morning for you wasn’t it?

7:12AM  
The cat is Louis and the dog is Bella. I have no idea how they came up with those but I think they fit.  
I took a nap. I’ll sleep for real tonight.   
I’m in the studio still though, they need me to be on some project

  
7:15AM  
Don’t overwork yourself!  
Please get some sleep

  
  
  


* * *

Mark and Taeyong had spent a lot of time playing text tag the week that Taeyong left. It was an adjustment getting used to the timezone difference and Mark wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to do the quick math in his head to figure out the time in Korea. It was easy talking to Taeyong through words on a screen though. Mark didn’t feel the need to always be “on” for the other because he could take him time to put his thoughts in order before sending a response. Sometimes he felt bad for taking so long to reply but that was the fact of the matter of living in completely different countries. Mark would adjust though, not that he didn’t have much choice. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Mark and Taeyong had actually called and heard each other’s voices for the first time since seeing each other in person. It was slightly awkward, Mark unsure of what he wanted or was supposed to say. They discussed their itinerary for Mark’s trip and Taeyong even bought his flight tickets that day. Mark talked about his uneventful day at work and about Johnny and Jaehyun and Yuta. Taeyong just laughed and said he would like to meet Mark’s friends one day. But Taeyong didn’t dwell on that long because that would be nearly impossible. Maybe Johnny, but not Jaehyun and Yuta. There would be no explaining to them how he knew Taeyong without completely blowing their cover. Just another painful reminder of how things were going to be with Taeyong. But Mark didn’t need the world to know who he was or wasn’t dating, if he was happy then that was all that mattered. Or so he keeps telling himself. 

Taeyong talked about Bella and Louis and how they’ve suddenly taken everyone’s attention. Mark could almost hear a twinge of jealousy in his voice as Ten cooed at the kitten in the background. Somehow, the idea of Taeyong being in love with other men seemed less foreign to him. It was still scary and made Mark slightly insecure but Taeyong was so good to him and managed to know how Mark was feeling without him even needing to say anything. Mark thinks he doesn’t regret putting himself into this situation, not yet at least.

-

The week that Taeyong left to go back to Korea also happened to be the week that the magazine was published. Mark honestly had forgotten all about the fact that he was going to be one of this month’s inside stories. He was reminded that today would be the day the November issue would hit the stands by the glossy issue sat face up on his desk with a sticky note attached. It wasn’t typical that everyone would get their own issue, there were too many employees and it wouldn’t be cost efficient. Instead you could put in a request for a discounted copy. But Mark didn’t think to put in his request, too caught up in everything with Taeyong and company.

_“Mark,  
  
_ _  
Keep up the good work.  
  
_ _  
Taemin”_

Mark peeled off the sticky note while looking to see Taemin’s office door closed. His article wasn’t the cover story but it was on the cover nonetheless. Off in the bottom left of the corner, right above the UPC code, was Mark’s story.

_BOLD SOUNDS, LIVE IN ACTION_ _  
__4INFINITY, THE WORLD TOUR_

  
  


Up until today, Mark had never written something that would be on the cover. He didn’t think he would make it until at least a year after working there. It had only been months and here he was, a little blurb in the corner next to a new rock band being praised as the next Red Hot Chili Peppers. Mark stared at the cover sitting on his desk for longer than was socially acceptable. His desk neighbor, who was on the phone when he arrived, hung up and looked at Mark questioning why exactly he was standing there for over five minutes doing nothing. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Did you know my story was going on the cover?” Mark asked, finally picking up the magazine to inspect it closer, as if the ink would disappear if he rubbed his fingers over it. 

“Nope. Congrats!”

“Thanks.” Mark laughed, flipping the magazine over in his hands. He finally sat down at his desk and put the magazine back down so he could look at the cover again. His article of 4infinity was going to be seen around the country in newsstands and at the front of chain grocery stores. Mark checked the time, anxious to tell someone. It was still early, almost ten now, which meant it was late in Korea. He didn’t want to wake Taeyong if he was sleeping, so he opted to take a picture of the cover and send it to him.

9:46AM  
Look what I got today!!  
[IMG]

Mark didn’t expect a reply, Taeyong would either be busy or asleep. It hadn’t taken him long to learn that his boyfriend was a night owl. Taeyong had left America on Monday morning yet Mark already knew by Friday that Taeyong worked late into the night and slept in until the afternoon. So Mark was slightly surprised when he got a reply an hour later.

10:58AM  
That’s your article! On the cover! Wow, we’re going to need at least 10 copies ASAP  
I’m proud of you :)

11:00AM  
Tell me where to send them and I’ll give you as many as you want :)  
I honestly had no idea they were putting it on the cover, it’s only single page  
Also, why are you awake? I thought you were done with that project?

11:03AM  
I am, I just had some stuff I needed to take care of at home  
Don’t worry about me, I’m going to bed now.  
You can just bring some copies with you when you come visit!  
Have a good day at work Mark

11:04AM  
Night Taeyong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And by "stuff" he means fucking Ten. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I think I'm going to pick up the pace a little in the next chapter and jump right to Mark's trip to Korea but I'm not making any promises. 
> 
> Also, it's totally my headcanon that Ten and Lucas broke up so they adopted Bella and Louis to fill the void. But then they realized they loved each other too much so they got back together and adopted Leon because they wanted something to bind them together again.


	22. Long Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark flies to Korea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hotel is loosely based off of Hotel Entra in Gangnam which is only a couple blocks from the SM Studio Center fun fact

Mark wonders how exactly he got here. Standing in an airport for the first time in his entire life, passport in hand waiting to get through security. He checked and double checked his carry on to make sure he didn’t have any liquids or guns or drugs. Not that he had ever even touched a gun in his life, but the dogs pacing the queue made him nervous, anxious. What if someone had snuck a bag of meth in his bag when he wasn’t paying attention? He wouldn’t survive in jail, he couldn’t. Plus, who would tell Taeyong that the reason Mark stood him up was because some asshole thought Mark would make a good drug mule. Mark doubts Taeyong would believe them anyways.

So he gets through security without a hitch, because obviously he was worrying over nothing, and heaves his duffel bag over his shoulder so he could grab his shoes and put them back on. It’s all very strange and foreign to him. It’s cold and there’s a general buzzing overhead from something, he isn’t sure what. It’s early, or maybe it’s late. Taeyong told him to pick a different flight time but Mark said it was fine, he could sleep on the plane probably. Taeyong didn’t put up much of a fight, just told him to take motion sickness pills beforehand and something to help him sleep, “just in case.”

“Tell me when you board and when you land. I can’t be there to pick you up from the airport but I’ll be in the hotel room waiting for you. I miss you.” Taeyong had whispered one night, or morning for Taeyong. He was just waking up and his voice was a little crackly from sleep. It was endearing and Mark wished he was there to hear it in person.

Mark sits at an uncomfortable seat outside his gate, two hours early. Two hours before the plane even started boarding. Taeyong put him in a prestige class seat with Korean Air because his company had a deal with the airline. Which makes sense, as often as their idols travel it would be smart to make that sort of deal. Mark worries about when he’ll have to fly economy because he can’t afford anything better, he’ll have ruined flying forever he thinks.

The past few weeks seemed to have gone by in a blur. A blur of work, eat, sleep repeat. There was a small blip where he got to go home with Johnny and enjoy Thanksgiving with both of their parents. Mark hoped, prayed, that no one would bring up the subject of a girlfriend. Johnny managed to read Mark’s mind and kept the conversation away from topics that would make Mark have to lie to his parents. Johnny was always there for him, even when Mark didn’t realize it. 

Then Thanksgiving was over and he was back in his apartment with Johnny who seemed to have been spending more time at home lately. Mark didn’t think to ask, figured Johnny was just less busy at work now. It was almost Christmas time and things were just generally quiet in the music industry around then. No one was touring or coming out with new music anytime soon. So Mark didn’t pry, just accepted the company when it was provided. They hadn’t talked about the Jaehyun situation since that night and Johnny didn’t seem to want to bring it up so Mark let it lie. They would talk when Johnny was ready, Mark could wait. Instead they talked about Mark and his trip and what they had planned. Johnny gave suggestions on places to go and things to see and Mark made sure to write it all down. It would only be a week but his list was already full of a month’s worth of ideas. 

He told Taeyong about his list and they laughed about how much Johnny thought he could manage to do in a week. Then Taeyong reminded Mark that he could come as often as he would like and it became slightly more real that this was a  _ thing _ . It made Mark’s stomach do things he didn’t realize it was capable of doing, bordering on the verge of being sick. Sick much like how he feels right now, sitting and waiting for a giant flying tube of metal to take him to see his boyfriend. 

Mark pulled the hood of his parka up over his head and pulled out his phone to try and kill some time. Taeyong had told him to pack lots of warm clothes as winter was barreling through Seoul, getting below freezing some nights. Mark didn’t mind the cold, he spent so much time in California in the sun and breeze that it became mundane. Mark hoped it would snow, a romantic flurry with snowflakes catching on his hair as he smiled at a red nosed Taeyong. 

4:04AM   
I didn’t realize the airport would be so cold   
I can’t feel my fingers

4:10AM   
I didn’t realize you were brave enough to fly for the first time alone and in the middle of the night  
I hope you packed gloves!

4:11AM   
:(   
Yes  
What do people even do in airports   
I’m bored   
I still have 2 more hours   
How do you do this   
Taeyongggggg

4:28   
Markkkkkkk   
Depends but I don’t usually spend 2 hours in an airport!!   
I like to listen to music and play video games   
I also almost always travel with someone else which helps   
We also go during normal people hours so we hang out in the lounge

4:18AM   
The what?

4:19   
There’s a lounge but it doesn’t open for a few more hours for you   
Sorry :(  
I have to go, don’t forget to text me before you take off   
See you soon

4:10   
See you soon <3

  
  


After what felt like years waiting, he was finally scanning his boarding pass and shuffling through the frigid jet bridge. Everyone was silent as they made their way to their seats, like zombies with nowhere else to go. He finally found his seat, a window seat towards the front of the plane. The flight attendant smiled and bowed as she took his duffel bag to put in the overhead bin. He felt a little lost and a little out of place as he stared at the pale blue seat in front of him. Whenever he imagined traveling, he thought of crying babies and smelly people not courtesy blankets and pre-departure beverages. 

A half hour later Mark was clasping his hands in a silent prayer as the plane taxied to the runway. He was lucky no one had claimed the seat next to him because he was sure he was making some pathetic noises as the plane was hurtling down the runway. Then, his stomach dropped as the feeling of the plane leaving the ground consumed him. This was a terrible, awful feeling and Mark thinks he will never do this again. He hates heights. How did he let Taeyong convince him this was a good idea? He’s glad he took those motion sickness pills now.

Eventually the plane leveled out and the pressure in his ears popped. He couldn’t relax, not fully, but he could still pull the branded blanket over his chest and pretend. Then Mark remembered the Benadryl he packed in his backpack that was under his seat. Taeyong may have put him on this plane but the only thing keeping him alive was physics and Mark didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to think about how humans very clearly did not have wings and therefore were not intended to fly. Being in a plane was defying nature. So Mark pulled out more pills than recommended and swallowed them with the whiskey sour he had ordered when the flight attendants made their first round. He reclined the seat all the way back, pulled the blanket up to his chin, and popped on his headphones hoping the music would drown out the white noise of the plane. It didn’t, not quite, but eventually he managed to fall asleep.

* * *

Johnny   
1:02PM   
How’s Korea?

1:36PM   
Never let me fly again   
  


1:38PM   
That bad huh?

1:45PM   
Yes   
Luckily I slept through half of it   
Now I’m with this old guy in a fancy hat waiting for my luggage   
I didn’t think drivers actually wore those stupid hats

1:46PM   
They do if your sugar daddy is paying for it

1:47PM   
I’m not coming back   
You can put my room up on craigslist

1:48PM   
Going to stay and live your sugar baby fantasy?   
I knew you had it in you

1:52PM   
Fuck you

1:54PM   
Damn, love you too bro   
  


* * *

Taeyong wasn’t lying when he said it was cold in Seoul. The moment he stepped out of the black Bentley he was sliced by a gust of freezing wind. The driver politely smiled as he closed the door behind an already shivering Mark. Before Mark could thank him, a bellhop was already addressing him.

“Mr. Lee, correct? I’ll take your bags for you. The front desk is right inside when you’re ready.” The man bowed before walking past to the trunk of the black car to grab his suitcase and duffel bag. Mark was floundering, this was all unbelievably new to him. People were speaking Korean, completely unaccented and in rapid fire. He took a second to spin around and take in the street, where people were walking by in knee long peacoats and cashmere scarfs. Then he turned back to the hotel, head craning back to take in the facade. The foreignness of it all still hadn’t really hit, it still felt like he could be anywhere in America if it weren’t for the people talking around him. It was all new and he was sure when he had a moment to stop and process he would probably start panicking. But for now, it was cold as fuck and he needed to get inside.

Mark breathed in and out, pulled the straps of his black Jansport backpack a little tighter and walked through the glass and metal revolving doors and into the hotel before he could freeze to death. He was running on autopilot at this point, letting his feet take him where his brain thought he needed to go. If he stopped to think too long he would turn around and walk right back out and ask the driver to take him back to the airport. Taeyong was waiting for him. Mark was in Seoul, South Korea and his boyfriend Lee Taeyong was overhead in a room with a view of the Han river. This wasn’t real. 

“Hello, Mr. Lee. I’m Marie, are you ready to check-in?” The English pulled him out of his trance. A woman dressed in a tight, crisp skirt suit was smiling at him behind a polished granite desk.

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you ready to check-in to your room?” Her smile never faded, it was bordering on painful. Her lips were pulled tight and Mark’s mouth hurt looking at it.

“Ah, yes sorry.” Mark pulled out his passport and handed it over. The woman click-clacked her way on a computer screen and was then handing back Mark his passport along with a black keycard. 

“Looks like Mr. Lee has already checked-in so your room is ready. Let me know if you need anything else or you can call the front desk at any time. Have a nice day.” She bowed and Mark hesitated before leaning forward in return. That was going to take some getting used to.

The bellhop was already waiting with his suitcase and led Mark to the elevator. They rode up twenty floors in silence, almost to the very top floor. Mark felt a little dizzy with how fast they climbed, at the correct floor before Mark had a chance to feel uncomfortable in the silence. Mark followed the man with his suitcase, thinking of telling the employee that he could handle it. He decided it wasn’t worth the hassle, as the hallway was short and there were very few doors. The man strolled to a stop at the end of the hall where a door was situated in the corner.

“This is your room. If you need anything at all, do not hesitate to ask any hotel staff. Enjoy your stay, Mr. Lee.” The bellhop bowed once again and Mark was quicker to return the gesture.

“Thank you.”

The man walked away and Mark waited until he heard the elevator ding and the doors close before he turned to face the door. It shouldn’t be a big deal, they had been talking about this for weeks. They made plans and he knew that Taeyong would be behind this door waiting for him to take him out to eat or whatever it was that Mark wanted to do when he landed. Mark wasn’t sure at this current moment what he wanted to do other than possibly throw up, at the very least he wanted a nap.

Now or never, Mark.

He inserted the card into the slot above the door handle and it beeped, allowing Mark to open the door. Of course the first thing he sees when he enters the room is Taeyong, hunched over his laptop on a- is that a fucking dining table??   
  
Taeyong looks up at him and Mark couldn't care less about anything else in the room. Mark wonders why he was even panicking, Taeyong was here and waiting for him. Taeyong who woke up early some days to wish Mark good night over the phone. Who sent him more photos of himself and his life than Mark would ever think was possible. Their relationship felt so intimate through the phone and through computer screens, secrets whispered at odd hours of the day due to their time zones. It had only been a month since the concert and now Mark was here in Taeyong’s home country, and here the man was looking at him with an impossibly large smile, scraping the chair back and practically running to loop his arms around Mark.

“Hi…” Taeyong whispered in Mark’s ear. Taeyong had wound his arms around the other’s waist and under his backpack,, causing Mark to drop the handle of his suitcase to do the same. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too…” Mark breathed in the smell of clean laundry and citrus shampoo. It was calming, grounding. They had only psychically seen each other three times and Taeyong already felt like home. 

Taeyong finally pulled back and looked Mark directly in the eyes and just laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You look the same.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Mark’s voice squeaked, looking mildly offended but mostly confused.

“I don’t know,” Taeyong shrugged, still laughing, “come on, let’s get you settled.” Taeyong grabbed the fallen suitcase from beside Mark in one hand and Mark’s right hand in his other, pulling both into the room.

Mark was finally able to get a good look around the room-scratch that-apartment. There was an actual dining table seated next to a gas fireplace that was currently on creating a divide between what Mark assumed was the bedroom. On the wall opposite the fireplace was a kitchenette complete with microwave, minifridge and coffee machine. Behind the open space with the table was what could pass as a living room, with a couch and a coffee table. A wall of floor to ceiling windows behind that. To the left of the dining areas, past the fireplace was indeed a bedroom. A king sized bed laid in the middle of the room with crisp white linen, to the right was a bathroom nestled in the corner of the living room and the bedroom. Mark couldn’t see all the way in but could see the natural light filtering in from the continued wall of a window. To say the least, the room was massive and easily cost more than Mark’s rent.

“All of this wasn’t necessary…” Mark murmured as Taeyong parked the suitcase at the foot of the bed. 

“It’s not a big deal, we actually come here sometimes when we want to get away from our apartment. We know most of the staff here so they know how to keep things down low so it’ll make things easier.” Taeyong reached his now free hand to Mark’s other hand. 

“Well then, thank you,” Mark’s voice was still so quiet. 

“You’re welcome, now tell me what is the first thing you want to do?” Taeyong dropped both hands as Mark went to take off his bag and coat.

“Honestly? I just want to sleep.” As soon as Mark had laid eyes on the massive bed, he knew he wanted to smother his face in the down feather pillows and cocoon himself in the comforter. He may have slept on the plane but calling that sleep was a stretch. He was exhausted to the core and laying in bed was about the only thing on his mind now.

“I figured you would be tired. I’ll let you sleep then, I can sit back at the table and finish what I was working on. Or I can leave and you can call me when-”

“No!” Taeyong looked at Mark, head cocked to the side with a knowing grin. “That- I mean, stay… Please…”

“Okay I can stay. Do you want me to wake you around dinner time?” 

“That sounds good.” Mark was sliding his shoes off to rest next to his still unpacked suitcase. That could wait until after a solid nap. “Actually…”

“Hmm?”

“Could you sleep with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say this time, hope you liked it! It was a little hard for me to write this one which is why is took so long. Thanks for reading as usual!
> 
> Also, just for fun the hotel would have costed around 5 million won for the week and a prestige class round trip Korean Air flight LAX-ICN costs almost $5,000 USD


	23. Groove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Taeyong eat dinner and make plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY this took so long. I couldn't figure out how to connect my plot points and was feeling shitty about how the story was unfolding. I powered through finally

Mark crawled under the layers of fresh linen, still fully clothed in his airport attire. He didn’t care, he was drained. He could worry about changing when he woke up, if he ever decided to. The mattress was swallowing him whole and Mark thought that wouldn’t be a bad way to go. He could fall asleep right here and never wake up and be okay with that. He quickly changes his mind when he feels the mattress shift next to him. If he died now he wouldn’t have the luxury of waking up next to Taeyong. Taeyong, who laughed at him and agreed to take a nap with him. Who was now sliding under the comforter, laying his head on the pillow next to Mark’s. Mark rolled over to face the man next to him in bed. Taeyong had cut his hair, it was above his ears now but still white as the day they met. He looked so young without his hair done up or makeup coating his face.

“Do you want me to set an alarm? I can’t promise I won’t sleep for ten hours.” Taeyong reached his hand out to interlace his fingers with Mark’s.

“I probably won’t sleep that long but if we don’t want to waste my time here we probably should.”

Taeyong pulled his hands back to roll back over and grab his phone from the nightstand. 

“Okay I set it for seven. Also, Lucas says hi.” Taeyong huffed through his nose before locking his phone and putting it back in it’s spot.

“Am I going to see them this week?” Mark hadn’t thought about that elephant in the room yet. He kept himself distracted with everything else in this trip, living in ignorance to keep his mind from coming to conclusions that were so plainly not reasonable. He was done having that internal monologue, well until Taeyong brought up Lucas. Now the voice was back. They knew he was here, of course they would. Taeyong wouldn’t just disappear for a week without telling the others about what he was up to. He was putting off coming to terms with this idea of a rationed relationship, but now Taeyong brought the idea back to the front of his mind. Mark wasn’t sure if he was ready to have the physical proof of that in front of him, not right now at least.

“Only if you want to. Lucas is always asking about you, he misses knowing people his age.” Taeyong had flopped back over, now face to face with Mark. “But you don’t have to answer that now, just sleep. Come on,” Taeyong said, holding his arms open, “you can be little spoon.”

And just like that, Mark melted easily into Taeyong, back to chest. The thought of seeing Jongin, Ten, and Lucas again scared Mark a little. More so than anything, he was intimidated. How could he compete with three other men who had been a part of Taeyong’s life way longer than Mark. Mark, who almost quite literally ran into Taeyong in a clothing store barely a month ago. Mark, who was now in bed with Taeyong. Taeyong, who made sure Mark knew he wasn’t being ignored when he would go quiet. Taeyong, who was so kind and caring and listened when Mark would complain about office politics after a bad day at work. Taeyong, who was rubbing circles onto Mark’s clothed bicep.    
  
The last thing Mark remembers before being enveloped in a warm blanket of sleep was Taeyong kissing the top of his head.

* * *

“So there are a couple options… We can get something delivered, I can cook something at my place, or we can go out.”

“I don’t think my fingers have thawed from earlier.” Mark was unzipping his suitcase as Taeyong sat up in bed, back against the padded headboard, watching.

“Delivery it is. Do you have anything in mind? Your first meal in Korea, this is a big decision Mark,” Taeyong said jokingly.

Mark just snorted, neatly filing away his clothes in the dresser. “You can choose. Surprise me.”

“I’ll get some of everything then.” 

  
Mark finished unpacking, tucking his suitcase into the closet. He felt gross, the stale airplane air was still weighing him down, even hours after he had left. A shower sounded really good now. 

“I’m going to shower,” Mark said casually, not looking behind him as he grabbed some gym shorts and a t-shirt from the clothes he just put away. 

“Okay. Everything you need should be in there in case you forgot something. Hopefully the food will be here when you get done.” Taeyong shifted from under the blankets, swinging his legs off the mattress to stand up. He walked up behind Mark who was still fumbling around in the drawers. “I have something I want to show you when you get out.”

Mark hummed in acknowledgement as Taeyong pinched his side and walked back out to the table with his laptop. Mark grabbed his phone and toiletry bag, and locked himself in the bathroom. The floor to ceiling wall of window left no sight unseen outside. It was dark now, a constellation of city lights sprawling all over Seoul. Something sat heavy in Mark’s chest as he just stood on the tiled floor and watched the headlights of cars glide along the streets. This didn’t seem real. He was here, in Seoul, South Korea. He knew that. That didn’t change the sticky feeling near his heart as he flipped the shower on and undressed.

So Mark showered, hoping to the heat of the water would wash away whatever feeling this was. He stood, wet and naked, under the gaze of the city. It was a weird sensation having such a clear view of the outside world while he was cleaning himself off, but he did it anyway. Taeyong had done this before, clearly, so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. And clearly the rest of 4inifinity had done the same, if what Taeyong said earlier was any indication. Mark wonders if they all stood in this shower together, rubbing each other down under the waterfall shower head. If they all used the same body wash and left the bathroom smelling like each other. If Taeyong wrapped them up in fuzzy hotel towels, kissing them with gentle lips. 

The shower was not helping. 

So Mark wrapped up his bathing, and quickly got out to dry himself off. He looked at himself in the mirror, water dripping down his face. His eyes looked sunken in, his mustache a little darker than it was when he got off the plane. Plainly put, he looked tired. 

Mark washed his face and dried his hair, hearing commotion outside the door when he clicked the blow dryer off. Hearing the sound of what Mark assumed was food made his stomach growl, urging him to put on his clothes and exit the bathroom. Mark followed the sound, and smell, of food into what would be called a dining room.

Taeyong stood, arranging all the containers of delivery food on the table, not noticing Mark standing a couple feet away. Mark watched, leaning against the wall, as Taeyong scrunched his eyes at the mess he made when he took the lid off of something saucy. It was cute. Taeyong was cute, even without the makeup and the lights and the facade he put on. Taeyong being  _ just  _ Taeyong was endearing. Mark felt the weight in his chest start to lighten.

“Do you need help?” Mark finally spoke up, causing Taeyong to inhale sharply.

“No it’s fine, come sit,” Taeyong said, motioning to the seat across from where he was standing.

It was a lot of food. Like, a lot. Enough food to feed a family of four and then some. Mark said as much to Taeyong.

“I realized that I don’t really know what kind of food you like, so better safe than starving.” Taeyong simply shrugged, finally sitting down and passing over chopsticks to Mark. Mark watched as Taeyong stirred up what Mark imagined was jajangmyeon and then took a bite. Chewing, Taeyong looked up and motioned to the food. Mark took the cue and started working his way methodically through the litany of dishes. Clockwise starting from the tteokbokki and ending with some fried vegetables. He’s had Korean food before, obviously, but this was a whole other experience than his mother’s home cooking. There was only so much you could get from the local Asian grocery store, plus Mark’s pretty sure there’s something in the tap water here that makes the food just that much more delicious. It felt like home, but a home he didn’t realized he missed until now. 

“Did I tell you that Johnny saw us when you left my apartment?” Mark asked during a lull in eating.

“No, you didn’t. What did he say?”

“Not much,” Mark hummed, remembering Johnny explicitly calling Taeyong hot, and decidedly leaving that out, “actually, it ended up with him telling me he’s more or less gay?”

“Is that a surprise?” Taeyong raised an eyebrow, food halfway to his mouth.

“Kind of. We never really talked about relationships. I never told him I was gay until about a month or so ago.”

“Isn’t your best friend gay?”

“Yuta? Most defintely gay.”

“And you’re gay.” Taeyong wasn’t asking, simply stating a fact of the matter.

“Yes.”

“So why are you surprised your other best friend is also gay?” Taeyong asked as if it was the easiest conclusion to come to, as if it was obvious Johnny was gay the entire time.

“We went to church together every week growing up, so it just wasn’t something I thought of.” Mark went quiet, continuing to eat as Taeyong watched. 

They ate in silence a little while longer until Taeyong finally spoke up, putting his chopsticks down. “How did that topic even come up?”

“Oh. Johnny went to hang out with Yuta’s boyfriend, Jaehyun. They’re really good friends now and Johnny said Yuta was jealous or something. Basically, Johnny admitted to having a crush on him.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, it’s weird that he admitted to that. I figured he would be smart enough to know not to get involved with someone who’s already in a relationship. Johnny is a romantic, so he’s just asking to get his heart broken.”

Taeyong made a noise, something in between a squeak and scoff. Mark thought maybe he was choking, looking up only to see Taeyong looking at him with a hollowed expression. Mark’s face scrunched in confusion, repeating what he just said to himself. Oh, right. That was almost like the exact situation Mark was currently in, wasn’t it?

“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that I know Yuta, Yuta won’t want to share. He’s jealous and clingy and always gets his way. If Johnny gets in the way, Yuta will be pissed.” Mark said, quickly trying to backtrack. He really hopes he didn’t hurt or offend Taeyong. That wasn’t his intention, was never his intention. At the end of the day he knew what he signed up for. Mark quietly added, “I’m sorry.”

Taeyong breathed deeply, sitting more straight in the chair. He looked at Mark, clearly thinking of what to say. Mark was nervous, did he just ruin this?

“You don’t have to be sorry. I get why you said it. I’m just not used to people knowing about my relationships, so this was just a reminder that what we have isn’t normal. I hope you don’t think that way about us.” Taeyong motioned between the two of them, a slight tinge of hurt on his face.

“No! Definitely not.” Mark quickly said, before Taeyong could come to any conclusions on his own. “I know what I’m getting myself into. It’s still a little weird for me but I mostly get it now. I like being with you,” Mark said easily. He really did like being with Taeyong, from what little time they have spent together. 

“Okay…”

The food was clearly abandoned at this point, neither caring to finish cold jokbal. So Taeyong stood up, clearing the food away as Mark just sat. The air was heavy between them now, something thick that coated Mark's lungs in fear. Fear of ruining their relationship, of getting hurt so soon after licking his wounds from Donghyuck, of being abandoned in a foreign country only hours after he arrived. 

“So what did you want to show me?” Mark finally asked, once Taeyong was finished. Taeyong’s face brightened up, smiling as he pulled out his laptop from the bag on the floor. Maybe he was being stupid for being scared. Taeyong wouldn’t do that to him, not without openly saying as much. He had made that pretty clear from the beginning that communication was important for him.

“I finished Ten’s song.” Taeyong smiled even wider, eyes turning to mere slits from the pressure. “Come sit,” he said, patting the seat next to him.

* * *

“So, does he know about it yet?” Mark asked, sitting on the couch watching Taeyong put up his laptop.

“No, I think it’ll be his Christmas present. I still want to take it to the studio and record the lead vocals for it.”

“You wrote lyrics for it too?”

“Yeah, I actually had the lyrics before anything else.”

“That’s amazing!” Mark wiggled in his seat. You were either a good lyricist or you weren’t, sure you could train but there’s an innate talent for wordsmithmanship that not many people had. Taeyong was one of those people, if his writing credits were of any meaning. He had helped write almost every single 4inifnity song they’ve released thus far, as well as for other mainstream artists. So it’s not a surprise that Taeyong had written this song already, but that didn’t make it any less amazing that he was just able to do this like it was no big deal.

“Do you want to go to the studio with me this week and help? I’m sure I can pull some strings to get you into the building.” Taeyong finally walked over, sitting directly next to Mark on the couch. He placed his hand on Mark’s thigh, squeezing gently. “I think it’ll be fun, it’s not often I have free time to mess around in the studio.”

“Uhm…” Mark trailed off. Mark didn’t belong in a studio. He had given up hope on that years ago, satisfied with just analyzing everyone else’s artistry instead of working on his own. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Taeyong gave another reassuring squeeze. 

“No, I think it sounds cool. I don’t know how much help I’ll be though.”

“It’s fine, everyone starts somewhere. You’re probably better than you think.” Taeyong removed his hand from Mark’s thigh, scooting over so he could lay his head on Mark’s lap. Mark’s hand instinctively went up to comb through Taeyong’s still white hair. It was soft, despite Mark not having seen him with a natural hair color on any social media platform since last year. Taeyong closed his eyes in contentment. “So what do you want to do tomorrow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	24. Line Em' Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark's first full day in Korea has an interesting start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!! Writing dialogue is the worst thing for me, I'm so sorry.
> 
> Also, please note the rating change💃
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Cami: the Mark to my Kai, the Taeyong to my Baekhyun, the Hendery to my Lucas. Thank you for staying up until 3am reading this behemoth of a story in 1 night.

Taeyong is beautiful. Taeyong is so stupidly beautiful, Mark thinks he can’t be real. His shirtless body, carefully caging Mark against the bed, was perfectly toned and gleaming. Mark reached out to rub his hands up the older’s chest, arms slowly wrapping around his neck. Mark imagines this is what heaven feels like, with Taeyong’s lips against his neck. This is the reason he got down on his knees and prayed every night as a kid, so that he could get even just a taste of what Taeyong is. It was hot, despite the ice on the ground outside. Mark felt like he was suffocating, but he loved the feeling. He loved being engulfed by Taeyong as if nothing outside of the bed existed.

Slowly, Taeyong was pushing inside Mark. He can’t remember them discussing this, he doesn’t remember discussing condoms or preparation or how they even got naked. But Mark felt so good and Taeyong had no issue sliding in fully right away. Taeyong propped himself up fully on his arms, looking down at Mark. Mark felt flushed and he wasn’t sure if it was from the literal heat of the room or from Taeyong’s piercing gaze. Mark felt like Taeyong wasn’t quite looking at him, like he was focused on something behind him, looking _through_ him. He felt more naked, which doesn’t make sense because he’s quite literally as naked as one can get.

Then Taeyong started moving and Mark stopped caring about feeling or being naked. It’d been a long time since he’d slept with someone, he forgot how good it felt to be filled by an actual human being and not some silicon toy he kept in his nightstand or under the bed. Mark blinked and now he was on top of Taeyong. How strange. There wasn’t much time to think about how quickly Taeyong moved because he was grabbing Mark’s hips and bouncing him up and down. The man below him seemed so composed for having just moved at lighting speed, barely a drop of sweat on his brow. Mark felt the opposite, he felt wrecked as Taeyong had found his prostate so easily, perfectly hitting the spot every time Mark fell back down.  
  
Mark felt good.

“Ah- Taeyong,” Mark moaned, arching his head back, “shit.” 

He didn’t even realize how painfully hard he was until a pair of hands came from behind him, one hand on the flat of his stomach and the other slithering its way to his untouched dick. That wasn’t right. Something was weird. Something felt off.

Mark finally peeled his eyes open to look down at Taeyong, who’s eyes were shut from pure bliss. Then he noticed something. He moved his gaze further along and there were four hands on him. Then a face was pressed into the crook of his neck, littering lazy kisses up and down the expanse of skin. Mark couldn’t help but let out a moan at a particular harsh nibble of his ear.

Wait.

Mark stilled, body going taut in fear. Who was touching him?

“What’s wrong Mark?” The voice came from behind him, pulling him out of his stupor to turn around and figure out what the hell was going on. “Did I do something wrong?”

It was Lucas. He should have known based on how the hand on his stomach splayed across the entire area. 

“No, it’s fine. Keep going, sorry.” Mark’s mouth moved before his brain could comprehend what was being said. Lucas continued his slide over Mark’s cock, his hand completely enveloping it. Mark felt small and full and a warm buzzing creeped under his skin.

The buzzing turned into something stronger, a fire raging in his gut. He was going to cum and he wasn't sure how it happened so quickly. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum…” Mark whispered, tilting his head down squeezing his eyes shut as he let go. His orgasm flowed through his body, twitching with each pulse. When the pulsing finally stopped, he looked down to see the damage he caused. 

Looking down, he was met with golden skin and honeyed hair. A mischievous smile lit up the round face below him, cocking his head as Mark’s eyes went wide.

Donghyuck opened his mouth before Mark could run away.  
  
“I love you, Mark.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Mark jolted upright. He was covered in sweat, his heart racing. What the hell was that? He looked over to see a sleeping Taeyong. _It was just a dream,_ Mark thought to himself, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. _A dream of your current boyfriend turning into your exboyfriend that ended with an erection next to said boyfriend who you haven’t even discussed sex with yet,_ his brain also supplied. This was so completely fucked. 

Carefully, he pulled the covers off himself, trying not to disturb the sleeping boy next to him. He grabbed his phone and tip-toed his way into the bathroom, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him. Facing the mirror, he was left to observe the problem at hand fully. He was hard, his gym shorts completely tented. It was barely eight in the morning, his first full day in Korea, and he was already contemplating catching the next flight back to LAX.  
  
Get off or will the boner away. Those were his two options. 

He could easily jerk one off, but then he would be left with a permanent sticky feeling knowing he masturbated only a few feet from his sleeping boyfriend. Somehow, that felt wrong.

So that left Mark with just waiting it out. Easier said than done. Who knows how long that could take, and Taeyong could wake up and question why Mark was taking so long in the bathroom. 

Mark decided a shower would suffice, even though he feels like his hair would not be happy with another round of blow drying so soon after last night’s shower. He turned the shower on as cold as he could tolerate. Peeling his clothes off, Mark was still at full mast. How was this even possible? Mark shook his head, quickly getting himself under the showerhead before he could second guess the decision of a cold shower as the sun rises. Honestly, it wouldn’t be a bad deal if he wasn’t exhausted, erect, and embarrassed. The Han River looked beautiful in the morning sunlight, at least what little of the river he could see.

As the cold water washed his sins away, Mark was left alone to his thoughts. There was a lot to unpack in whatever weird wet dream Mark’s mind decided to conjure up. It felt so real, and he loved the way Lucas touched him. Lucas. That was a can of worms he wasn’t ready to unpack. Lucas touched him and Mark, dare he say, loved it. Mark liked the feeling of being small in his hands, the feeling of Lucas being able to toss him around like a ragdoll if he so pleased. But he was with Taeyong, they both were. That should be strange, right? Taeyong was so honest about his relationship with his boyfriends and now Mark was looking at Lucas in such a sexual light. Was he fetishzing now? Should he talk to Taeyong about this? Then he would have to avoid mentioning the fact that his brain conjured up his ex boyfriend only moments after seeing Taeyong in that place instead.

Somehow, during all the mental gymnastics Mark was doing, his erection died down. So Mark cut off the shower, not bothering to wash his hair or body. He dried off quickly, slipping his sleep clothes back on and tousling his hair as dry as he could manage. Hopefully Taeyong was still asleep and Mark could just crawl back under the covers like nothing happened. 

Of course, that would be too easy. 

Taeyong was awake, looking up from his phone as he heard the bathroom door open. All thoughts about his weird dream were completely forgotten when he was met with a sleepy smile and beautiful bedhead. (Seriously, even his bedhead is beautiful?) Mark padded his way back to the bed, crawling under the covers. He didn’t notice how cold it actually was in the room when he woke up, too hot from his dream and fear when he woke up. 

“Hi,” a groggy Taeyong whispered. 

“Hi.”

“Did you sleep okay?” Taeyong was still sitting up in bed, even as Mark laid his damp head on to his pillow. Taeyong seemed content in just watching Mark, easily abandoning his phone in his lap.

“Yeah.” Mark lied. Well, maybe it wasn’t a complete lie. It probably would have been one of the best sleeps of his life if it wasn’t for the whole weird threesome thing. Foursome? Mark internally cringed at the thought of deciphering the logistics of a horny dream.

“Good, I ordered room service. I hope you like bagels.”

* * *

“So I made sure the studio would be empty tonight, if you want to actually go with me.” Taeyong said, finishing off his blueberry bagel. Mark was done eating long ago, too nervous to eat more than half of his bagel.

“Aren’t you messing someone’s schedule up?”

“Not really, RoyalDive are usually the only ones in the studio that late. They’re fine with it. Did you still want to go?”

Mark hummed in agreement, nervously picking at the hem of his gym shorts. He didn’t like the feeling of making someone change their plans to accommodate for him, but what’s done is done. 

“Then let’s get dressed. I want to show you Insadong, it shouldn’t be too crowded today because of the snow.” Taeyong jumped up from his seat, practically bouncing his way to the bedroom. Did Taeyong even bring clothes? Mark didn’t see a suitcase or anything. He was already wearing lounge clothes when he arrived, so he didn’t think anything of it.

* * *

By the time they were outside, most of the snow on the ground had already melted, leaving behind soggy mush in sporadic piles on the road and sidewalk. There was a car waiting for them outside the hotel, the same driver as yesterday holding the car door open for them. As the driver closed the door, Mark looked over.

“So you just have your own personal driver?”

“No,” Taeyong covered his face as he laughed, “I just hired him for the week. Usually Baekhyun drives us around if we need to go somewhere to work, otherwise we just make Jongin take us.”

Mark just nodded, remembering something about Kai owning a BMW. It made Mark a little dizzy thinking about how much the group makes, clearly enough for a BMW or a roundtrip flight to Seoul from Los Angeles. Mark thinks he would never be able to afford a car that nice in his life, especially if he wanted a retirement fund. A hand was placed on knee, Taeyong slightly squeezing to get his attention.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing… just how crazy it is that I’m here right now. I never really thought about going to Korea.” Mark looked out the window, watching cars zip past in the opposite direction. People were here, living their regular lives going about their business as usual. Mark was just another person on their way in a stream of other people. 

“I really do think you’ll like it here.” Taeyong was being sincere, you could hear it in his voice. Taeyong meant that whole-heartedly, a look of fondness on his face when Mark finally turned to respond.

“So, Insadong?” Taeyong patted his knee, nodding.

“Yep! If we don’t get tired from walking, there’s also Bukchon Hanok Maeul which isn’t far away if you want. It’s touristy but it’s good for taking pictures.”

“Okay…” Mark was trying not to feel overwhelmed. He had a general idea of what Taeyong was talking about from trying to retain information Taeyong rattled off at him on the phone when they planned the trip. He told himself he would Google these places and things that Taeyong mentioned, he wrote a list and everything. But it got overwhelming. So he trusted Taeyong, only looking up what some words meant in English. One of those being Hanok Maeul, which turned out to be a village of traditional Korean houses. That was about as much as he could recall in this very moment, but it didn’t really matter. Mark was here, enjoying his limited time with Taeyong. If Taeyong wanted to go see traditional houses, then they would go see traditional houses. 

Which is exactly what ends up happening. They meandered through Insandong without much of a hitch surprisingly. There was no snow on the roads and there was a moderate amount of people. Mark had to fight the urge to worry about Taeyong, knowing he would just get an earful if he said that this was a bad idea. Taeyong would tell him it was fine, that he’s allowed to have friends and he had his mask and hat on. So what if someone saw him? Except that’s all Mark could think about as they browsed the shops lining the roads, what if someone saw them together? As they got in the car a few hours later, Mark was whipping his head around trying to see if anyone was watching them. Trying to see if anyone was around with cameras, ready to look up who exactly Lee Taeyong was spending his free time with on a Monday morning. But now they were in Bukchon and Taeyong was starting to catch on.

“I think I would like to see you in a hanbok one day,” Taeyong said as they walked past a store front with beautiful red and blue hanboks on display. A couple walked out of the store in matching black hanboks with gold thread holding hands, laughing over the man bumping his traditional gat on the doorframe on his way out. Mark tried to hide his laugh as the woman straightened the gat, only making it worse. She kissed him before finally getting it straight, grabbing his hand and heading in the opposite direction of Mark and Taeyong. Mark thinks he would also like to see Taeyong in one. “But it’s too cold and wet. You’ll have to come back when it’s warmer so we can get you in one. In the spring, when the cherry blossoms are here.”

“Only if you’re in one too.” Mark bumped his arm into Taeyong as they walked.

“I think I can manage that.” They continued to walk in silence, Mark taking in all the buildings and their unique architecture. It was amazing how such an old, historic place could still exist inside a growing metropolis in the technological age. People lived in these houses, and people from all over the world would come to see it. Taeyong had told him how they actually had to regulate the hours in which tourists were allowed here, that the residents of the houses would complain of loud tourists at early and late hours of the day. Mark couldn’t imagine living in a house that was on display for tourists, as if he was just a permanent music collection. Living a life on display for the world to see sounded exhausting. “Only if it’s pink though.”

“Deal.” Mark offered his hand, which Taeyong shook, giving a light squeeze before letting go. 

“How do you feel about tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain someone makes an appearance in the next chapter! Any guesses who?
> 
> Also, for those uninclined RoyalDive is the duo who helped compose Long Flight (and also produced Interlude: Past to Present on Resonance Pt 1)


	25. Music, Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Taeyong have a tea date. A special guest makes an appearance.

“Mark, baby.”

Mark groaned, flipping over in bed.

“Mark, time to get up.”

Mark could feel the sun shining directly on his face, so he reached up to cover his eyes from the rays.

“You’re going to be late for class.”

Shit.

“I’m up.” Mark flopped out of bed, pulling on the closest pair of jeans he could find on the floor. He waddled over to the windowsill where he phone was charging to see what time it was. 9:22 AM, eight minutes until class started. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to be late. “Why are you just now waking me up?” Mark ran over to the desk where his boyfriend was sitting to pull on his ear in retaliation.

“You were moaning in your sleep, didn’t want to interrupt you and whoever you were fucking.” Donghyuck giggled, grabbing Mark’s wrist before he could pull away. “I hope it was me at least.” 

Mark leaned down to kiss his boyfriend, a quick peck that of course Donghyuck turned into something more. He should have half the mind to stop before he popped a boner, but he was already going to be late for class. He had to walk to the opposite end of campus as their apartment but he was already struggling in this class. He couldn’t afford to miss any pop quizzes or get points docked for attendance. But Donghyuck was sliding his hand under his shirt, nails dragging up Mark’s spine. A shiver made its way down his body, causing him to wriggle his toes as goosebumps littered his skin. 

“Don’t you have class too?”

“Mmm, yeah… But listening to you seemed more important.” Donghyuck said, his mouth still plastered to Mark’s.

“I really need to go to cla- ah!” Donghyuck had sneaked his hands to the front of Mark’s body, a Donghyuck giving a perfectly timed squeeze to one of his nipples.

“No one is stopping you from going, Mark Lee.” Another pinch to the opposite nipple followed suit.

“Fuck you, Haechan.”

“Ok.”

* * *

Mark never really liked tea. He would equate it to something like drinking hot leaf water. But being the only patrons in a small tea house hidden in an alleyway might change his mind, especially if it was with Taeyong. They both sat barefoot on floor pillows, legs carefully crossed. An old woman came to bring them menus and Mark realized his Korean reading comprehension was not as good as he thought it was. He could get away with talking to Taeyong, reading his texts and whatever odd links he would send, simple conversational Korean he could do. Maesil Tea meant nothing to him, and he said as much to Taeyong. Taeyong just looked at him, opened his mouth to say something, and closed it. In Korean, he responded, “like a Korean plum?”

Mark made a mental note to find some advanced Korean classes online.

Taeyong made suggestions on what to get and Mark just nodded along, letting Taeyong take control. Whatever Taeyong chose would surpass any expectations Mark had, regardless. So Taeyong orders two hot teas for them along with a plate of rice cakes that Taeyong said was pretty standard in tea shops. As the server walked away, Mark took the opportunity to look around and soak in his surroundings. It was something like straight out of a travel show. It was an old Korean house that was modernized with glass windows enclosing in the space. The doors were all shut, keeping the cold out. The ceiling was curved with exposed beams, a square light fixture hanging from the center. There were similar seating arrangements lining the walls, shutters separating some of the tables. Through the window, you could see a garden with outdoor furniture for the warmer months with gravel and stepping stones filling out the group that wasn’t covered in greenery. There were clay pots sitting on a porch on the adjacent wall of the building, next to the entrance. 

And Mark got it. 

Mark understood why people would wax poetic about beautiful places when they traveled. Why people would give disgustingly detailed metaphors about what it was like to be in a moment, to be in a place that was far more than _just a place_ . Of course, anything with Taeyong is more than _just,_ but being in a place so foreign and new made Mark want to write poetry. Or maybe just a really garish Instagram post. 

If Mark could, he would tell you about the crisp air that nipped at him from behind when the door opened as a lone traveler came in to sit near the counter. About how it sent chills through his spine but nothing would ever strike him as strongly as Taeyong watching him. About how the cold made him want to desperately pull close to the man across from him, to share any ounce of body heat possible. How he would like to spend the cold winter days wrapped up under layers of blankets, sharing kisses and cold noses. He would tell you about the noise of the wind chimes that were outside the window by their seats, and how the ringing was like the peal of laughter in the summertime waiting for him when the ice finally thaws for good. A reminder of hotter temperatures and bare skin exposed to the world, a season that Mark would like to experience with someone new. About the sweat that would drip down from Taeyong’s forehead and they walked under the bright summer sun, spending their first summer together. 

“What do you think?” Taeyong asked, a soft smile on his face. He was watching the entire time Mark was craning his neck around to take it all in. It wasn’t often Mark traveled, if at all. In fact, he’s never been off the West Coast. The opportunity had never presented itself, so he was going to take his time to just be in a new place. 

“Of what?”

“Of Korea so far. Of this tea house. Of everything, I guess.”

“I think it’s too soon to tell. It’s all so different but so familiar at the same time, if that makes any sense?”

“Mmm, I think so.”

The woman who took their orders returned before either could say anything more. She placed hot teas in cups that should be considered bowls in front of them, along with a plate of something sweet and colorful. They thanked the employee and Mark watched her eye Taeyong a second longer than what would be considered socially acceptable. The reality slowly creeped over Mark’s shoulders, seeping into his spine causing him to sit upright. He hadn’t even realized he was slouching until just now. He was with someone famous, with someone who had a public image to uphold and had to be mindful of every little thing he did outside the comfort of his own home. It didn’t seem like that, not to Mark who had spent this whole morning walking next to him. All Mark thought of was the fact that he was in a new place with someone he wanted to get to know. Not once did he think to analyze the situation, to watch how Taeyong acted in comparison to how he was in bed last night under the covers huddled close. 

This woman though, a middle aged woman who was no one to either of them, opened his eyes to his reality. The reality that Mark would never be able to _be_ with Taeyong in public. Comparing how Taeyong spoke to him with his head laid in Mark’s lap to how he kept his voice low when walking side by side, it seemed obvious now. He knew, he had the niggling in the back of his brain that this was the case, but to actually be in a situation to set it all in stone was a different story. 

Mark tried to let the worry melt from his bones, to let it drip away with the last heaps of snow piled on the roof of the house. He watched Taeyong cup his hands around the warm ceramic of the tea mug, smiling at the warmth it brought his pink fingers. 

It was okay.

This is what he signed up for. 

Mark agreed to a relationship of privacy because there was something about Taeyong. Mark didn’t need a life of public displays of affection because, for some idiotic reason, he _trusted_ Taeyong. Actually, maybe the reason wasn’t so idiotic. Taeyong trusted him first, and with no reason to give. Taeyong had all the reason to not trust him, he was a journalist for fuck’s sake. But Taeyong called him cute on that very first day and Mark was nothing but flustered. So this is where they were. This is how it would be.

“So, uh, what did you order again?” Mark laughed, hoping Taeyong didn’t notice yet another one of his existential crises.

“The maesil tea, it’s a traditional tea that most people get when coming to tea houses like this.”

“Oh, that’s the plum one right?”

“Yeah,” Taeyong whispered in English as he lifted the cup to his mouth to sip.

Mark watched as a shudder ran through Taeyong as he placed the tea back on the table. Taeyong looked up at Mark and tilted his head in question. Mark replied in a smile and scooped the cup in his own hands and did the same. It was sweet, much sweeter than Mark thought it would be. Mark’s idea of tea was Sleepytime Classic by Celestial Seasonings that his mom would get at the grocery store and give to Mark when he said he was having a hard time trying to fall asleep. This was very much not that.

The tea was sweet and tangy and warmed Mark as it slid down his throat. The cold of the door behind him was no longer an issue at the front of his mind. 

“It’s good,” Mark murmured, taking another sip before placing the cup back down.

Taeyong hummed around another sip of tea, this time taking longer to drink it down. It was all quite cozy; warm tea sitting high in Mark’s stomach, socked feet under his thighs, Taeyong with his sleeves threatening to cover his hands and he tilted the cup back to his mouth. And Mark was struck with the same thought as yesterday when he had Taeyong in his arms, greeting each other.

This felt like home.  
  


* * *

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” Taeyong had dragged him to the studio after they were done walking around and had dinner. He still smelled like smoke from the charcoal grill they sat around. It reminded Mark of campfires and chilly nights at summer camp. Now Mark has a new association, Taeyong smiling as Mark ate way more than he should have and his awkward laughter when one of 4infinity’s song came on the radio as they finished off the bottle of soju they ordered. It had all felt so normal until Taeyong’s voice came through the speakers and Mark watched as the man himself scrunched up his shoulders and flushed pink, laughing to hide his embarrassment. Mark couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“It’s fine Mark.” Taeyong said for probably the twentieth time that night. He pulled a card out of his wallet and swiped it at a keypad next to the door. It beeped and clicked and Taeyong was grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside.

Before the door could even close all the way, Taeyong was crowding him against the wall and kissing him. Mark panicked, forgetting how to breathe. Part of his brain was telling him this was dangerous, that someone could catch them. Could catch Taeyong making out with someone and someone who also happened to be a man. 

Then Taeyong threaded his fingers through his hair and Mark could breathe. The door finally clicked closed and it took everything in Mark to not sigh into Taeyong’s touch. They stayed like that for seconds, or minutes, or hours, before a coughing almost quite literally made Mark jump out of his skin.

“What the fuck?” Mark squeaked against Taeyong’s lips. He made no move to step away from Mark, to play it off like he wasn’t just making out with some strange man in the shadowed hallway leading into the studio. He simply kissed Mark’s cheek and pulled away while rolling his eyes.

“I told Mark no one would be here.” Taeyong said, walking fully into the studio. Mark was still in some state of shock, unable to move. “Jongin, why are you here?”

“A little birdie told me you cleared out the studio so I got curious.”

“You being here defeats the whole purpose.” Taeyong sighed and Mark was still glued to the wall, somewhere between on the verge of throwing up or running away. Fight or flight turned out to be vomit or flight for Mark Lee, as time would continue to prove. “Mark, it’s just Jongin you can come here.”

As if that made things any easier.

Mark carefully peeled his back off the off-white wall and stepped his way deeper into the room. Sitting on the couch pressed against the wall closest to where Mark and Taeyong stand is Kim Jongin. Kim Jongin who Mark has spoken to less times than he can count with his fingers. Intimidation isn’t a word he would use to describe how Jongin sits prettily on the pleather couch, legs spread just wide enough to be indecent. Stunned would probably be more apt because, despite being near freezing, he sits with his tanned legs and arms exposed to the world. He looks like he just stepped out of a sauna, hair wet at the roots and pushed back, sweat stains on his chest and underarms. 

“Who told you anyways? No one knew other than Baekhyun and I told him to keep quiet.”

Jongin just looked at him, a toothy smile creeping onto his face.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“He’d like that.”

“I’m sure he would.”

Mark watches it all unfold, his head whipping back and forth like some bad sitcom. He feels like he’s intruding on something. This was a lover’s quarrel that should be happening in the privacy of their own home. 

Taeyong turns to Mark, stepping closer leaning in to whisper, telling him to sit down and that he’ll ‘deal with this.’

So Mark follows instruction, he walks to the desk covered in screens and nobs Mark had only dreamed of (and maybe saw on a couple of YouTube videos when he kept second-guessing the music thing) and he waits. He waits as Taeyong steps back closer to Jongin.

“I love you but now is not the time.” Taeyong says, barely loud enough for Mark to hear. But Mark was observant and totally not against eavesdropping. 

“Why did you bring him here?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Taeyongie, what are you hiding?” Mark could practically hear the pout on Jongin’s face.

“Nothing, now please leave.”

“I don’t think Mark would mind, right Mark?” Jongin didn’t raise his voice, obvious that Mark was listening in. It would be hard to share secrets in such close quarters anyways.

“I would mind, thank you.” Mark didn’t turn around, didn’t acknowledge anything that was happening behind him. Instead, he let his eyes sweep across the controls in front of him. Something in his brain wanted him to reach out and just touch out of pure curiosity but the sane part of his brain told him not to touch things he didn’t know the purpose of.

There was the sound of shuffling, whispering, a squeak, the sound of flesh on flesh, and then a sigh.

“I didn’t ask you baby. Mark, will you let me in on this secret?” Jongin said, much closer to him than before.

“Um…” Mark finally turned around and was met with a hovering Jongin much closer than comfortable. His eyes flicked back to Taeyong who was much more flush than he was mere minutes ago. “I- I don’t think that’s for me to decide.”

Taeyong sighed, stepping up beside Jongin. “Sit down and shut up. Not a word to anyone.” Taeyong was pushing the much taller man back to the couch, much less flush now.

“My lips are sealed.”

Taeyong was clearly holding back something, Mark couldn’t tell if it was a laugh or a groan. He just rolled his eyes and sat in the rolling chair next to Mark. He reached over to give a comforting squeeze to Mark’s knee before logging in to the computer in front of them. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” It came out more as a question than Mark intended. But Taeyong took no notice.

Taeyong clicked around the computer and then a familiar melody started playing loudly through the speakers surrounding the room.

“Taeyongie, what is this?” Jonging peeped up from behind them.

Taeyong audibly groaned this time, not holding back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much to say this time, just setting up dominos at this point


	26. Dancing In The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark eats with Taeyong and co. and meets midnight streets with Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i'm back! this is a longer one for you, with a treat at the end to make up for the wait. also reminder this is completely un-beta'd!
> 
> a note about languages being spoke:  
> since the nature of this fic involves a lot of different languages being spoken at any given time, it gets a little tedious to keep writing "he said in english" and what not. SO as a general rule of thumb - the majority of conversations involving any 4infinity member is done in korean, ten and mark speak english when alone (along with johnny). the language they speak isn't that important unless i make a point out of it. 
> 
> also pls read the notes at the end

The rest of the evening went a little something like this:

Taeyong played the completed song for Mark and Jongin. Jongin kept asking questions that Taeyong continually ignored, telling him to stay quiet and mind his own business. Mark sat in the studio chair next to Taeyong and pretended that he wasn’t uncomfortable and feeling out of place, instead smiling along as Taeyong asked for feedback on certain parts, as if Mark’s opinion had any sort of weight.

Taeyong brought out his notebook from his, noted, Balenciaga backpack and showed Mark the lyrics, while keeping Jongin at his seat and away from peering over their shoulders. Taeyong pointed some rough spots out and Mark actually procured a lyric from thin air that made its way to the ink blotted pages. Taeyong mumbled something about production credits that Mark made a point not to pay attention to.

Jongin, after almost an hour of being ignored, finally gave up being a bother. He sat back on the couch with an audible sigh, like a pouting teenager, and scrolled on his phone. Neither Mark nor Taeyong paid much attention to him after that as they went through the lyrics line by line now that it was seemingly complete. Time passed by like this for longer than Mark realized.

Which leaves them to here, where Taeyong slaps the table top and stands up with a smile on his face. Mark looked up at him with a question in his eyes that Taeyong answered by putting a finger to his lips and shushing him. Mark watched as his boyfriend sauntered over to Jongin who was still on his phone, but with a clear smirk on his face giving away that he noticed what was happening.

“Hyung?” Taeyong asked, voice determined.

“Yes?” Jongin replied, not looking up from his phone but smirk turned up on full blare.

“Do you want to help?” Taeyong made the last few steps, standing directly in front of Jongin’s crossed legs.

“Help with what?”

“I need someone to sing. Will you please sing this for me?” Taeyong motioned behind him where Mark was sitting, watching.

“What is it for?” There was a threat of Jongin looking up finally, a small tilt of his head that looked like a twitch if you weren’t paying attention.

“I can’t tell you. That’ll ruin the surprise.” Mark couldn’t see his face but he didn’t need to see to know that Taeyong had put on puppy dog eyes and a pout. The playful begging was rolling off his tongue and Mark’s thoughts started to trail off about how Taeyong would sound when Mark was on the receiving end of that begging. But that train of thought didn’t last long when he saw the sitting man finally putting his phone down and looking up. 

“I won’t help unless you tell me what I’m helping with.” Jongin uncrossed his legs, spreading them apart. Taeyong took the hint and stepped into the space made for him. 

“You have to _promise_ not to tell.”

“I promise, now will you just tell me already?” Jongin hooked his arms around Taeyongs legs, pulling him closer, Taeyong’s knees knocking into the front of the couch.

Taeyong looked down at where his legs were touching the leather, then back at Mark who had been silent the entire time. The look on Taeyong’s face was bordering helpless but it eventually morphed into annoyance. “Fine. I wrote a song for Ten. For his birthday”

Jongin just scoffed, letting go on Taeyong’s thighs. “Where’s my song? My birthday is before his.”

Taeyong flicked the older’s forehead, stepping out from the space between his legs. “If you don’t want to help, you can leave.”

Jongin clearly was not someone to take no for an answer. He stood up almost immediately and walked purposefully into the recording booth without saying a word. 

Mark turned out to be surprisingly helpful during the entire process, or at least Taeyong was good at making it seem like what Mark was saying had some sort of influence on what the couple did during the recording process. It was a quick thing, not taking more than an hour. But they were already there for so long already that Mark was getting hungry again, his growling stomach giving him away to Taeyong who was exporting the file on the studio computer while Jongin was suiting up to brace the cold outside. 

Taeyong flipped over his phone that was face down on the desk to check the time, to find it nearing almost midnight. Before Taeyong could make a suggestion, Jongin spoke up.

“I was going to pick up some take out to take home, do you want to come with me?” Jongin wasn’t looking at Taeyong, rather he was watching Mark expectantly. Mark’s mouth turned to cotton, suddenly forgetting every work in the Korean language. With Taeyong, things had bled from awkward and uncomfortable to just sometimes uncomfortable after the first couple video calls. Mark became less intimidated by the beauty and celebrity of his now boyfriend. (Which still didn’t feel real, that he could just call Taeyong his boyfriend.) But now Kim Jongin was standing, staring straight at Mark, asking if he wanted to... what? Get food and go home with him? Right now? In front of Taeyong? As if this was just some sort of regular occurrence?

Except it was, realistically. Jongin was just a person at the end of the day. A person who also happened to share the same partner as Mark. 

“We’ve had a long day, I’m sure Mark wants to go back to the hotel and sleep.” Taeyong looked at Mark expectantly, a small smile on his face. Taeyong was letting Mark make the choice, giving him an easy out if he needed it. But, maybe Mark didn’t. It was only a matter of time before this was going to happen. This was inevitable. He couldn’t go the duration of this relationship without ever acknowledging the giant, sexy elephants in the room. So Mark spoke up.

“Actually, I am kind of hungry.”

Jongin smiled like the cat that caught the canary and Mark very much felt like the canary in this situation. No turning back now.

* * *

The thing about inevitability is that, given the circumstance, you can have things work in your favor. If you get ahead of something, you can prepare yourself for what is to come and, hopefully, end up on top of it all. But, though the situation was bound to happen, things were never going to work in Mark’s favor it seems. Mark would have never had the time to prepare himself for _this._

This being, Ten and Lucas sitting on a couch in the middle of a big open space surrounded by each other and pets. They were draped across each other, legs intertwined like they were one body. Mark had to stop and process what exactly he was witnessing before he noticed.

“Wait, I thought you only had one cat?”

Taeyong was putting food on a table in the kitchen-slash-dining room that was off to the left of the living room where Mark and Jongin currently stood. Jongin also stopped in his tracks as Taeyong came practically running out of the kitchen.

“What are you talking about?” Taeyong huffed out, walking past Mark towards the couch.

“Oh no,” was all Jongin could mutter out before being attacked by a small beagle with licks.

“Surprise!” Ten shouted from his spot on the couch, completely unphased by the panic practically oozing out of Taeyong. 

“I tried to stop him.” Lucas said, earning himself a light thud to his chest by Ten. 

“As if Bella wasn’t your idea,” Ten snorted, unraveling himself from Lucas. 

“How many times are we going to have to go over this. No more pets without discussing it with the rest of us. This isn’t a zoo, Ten-ah!”

Ten stood up and walked straight to Taeyong, standing in front of him with only a few inches between their noses. His face was a neutral mask, up until he inhaled and slumped on the exhale. His mask turned into something really quite pathetic.

“Baby…” Ten trailed off, back hunching more causing Ten to have to crane his neck up much more drastically to look up at Taeyong. If you were close enough to see, you could tell Ten was batting his eyelashes ludicrously. 

“Do you at least have a good excuse?” Taeyong looked down his nose, hands fidgeting at his sides.

“Nope!” Ten straightened out, draping his arms around the other’s shoulders. “We named him Leon. I love him very much.”

All while this was happening, the entire room seemed to have forgotten Mark was awkwardly standing only a few feet from the door in silence. Jongin had made his way to the couch, Bella in tow. Where Ten once sat was now Jongin and Lucas easily found his way into the newcomer’s space. Mark felt like a fly on the wall, being allowed to watch the quartet simply exist in the wall of their own home. Well until a small kitten decided to approach and practically yell at him, alerting the other’s of his presence.

“You brought Mark?” Lucas was quick to stand up, completely ignoring Jongin’s protests. Before he could get close to Mark, Ten shot out an arm to stop him in his tracks. Lucas looked down, confusion evident on his face. Ten just gave a look, and Lucas nodded before he walked closer and to squat down to pick up the cat at Mark’s feet. Standing up, brownish-orange cat cradled in his massive arms, he smiled at Mark.   
  
“Hi Mark,” Lucas said in English and it took Mark a second to realize as much.   
  


“Hi Lucas, how are you?” Mark replied in English, diffidently.

Lucas was quiet for a second, before responding now in Korean, “I’m good, this is Leon.” Lucas grabbed a front paw and puppeted Leon to wave at Mark. Before Mark could say anything more, Ten was next to Lucas, grabbing Leon from Lucas’ hold.

“What brings you to our humble abode, Mark Lee?” Ten spoke in English, Mark’s name devoid of any accent on his tongue. Mark Lee, as if Ten had been calling him that his whole life. 

“Jongin-hyung promised food.” Mark replied in Korean, looking over Ten’s shoulder at said man, who was now spooning Bella on the couch.

“Then why aren’t we eating?” Lucas said, making his way to the kitchen.

“Excellent question, baby. I’m hungry. Hyungie, what did you get?” Ten was quick to follow Lucas.

* * *

“Hey Mom?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“How long did you date Dad before getting married?”

Mark was lying on the couch in his parent’s living room, holding the phone dangerously far away from his face - one drop away from a nasty bruise on his nose.

Mark’s mother hummed, pausing her work folding the laundry on the loveseat next to her son. “About four years.” She resumed her work folding the pair of jeans on her lap.

Mark remembers growing up and seeing his parent’s wedding photos displayed sporadically throughout their home. Pictures of his mom in a white dress, hair way bigger than what would be socially acceptable today, looking at her husband like he had all the answers she had been looking for. Mark likes to peg these photos as the reason why he’s such a romantic. He wants to be the person who hangs the stars for someone; he wants someone to look at him the way his mother looked at his father on their wedding day.

“Was it a surprise?”

“Not exactly. We discussed getting married but the exact when was a surprise. A lesson for you, Minhyung-ah, is that proposals should never be a surprise. If you love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them, talking about marriage should be an easy conversation to have.” While Mark may have a birth-given English name, Mark’s mom had also given him a Korean name, saying it’s what his name would have been if they had never moved to America. Sometimes it was comforting, most of the time it was stress inducing.

“Hm… good to know.”

“Should I be expecting a daughter-in-law soon?”

“Mom!” Mark swung his legs off the couch, staring wide-eyed at his mother. “I don’t even have a girlfriend.” It wasn’t technically a lie. He was in a relationship but he would rather not tell his mom about the big homosexual baggage he was lugging around - not now at least.

“I’m just joking. Why are you asking all these questions then?”

“No reason, just curious I guess.”

Mark’s mother hummed again and that was the end of that conversation. Mark continued his Twitter scroll until getting a text from Donghyuck.

2:45PM  
Miss you  
How’s home?

2:45PM  
Miss you too…   
Same as usual, bored and ready to get back to campus  
To see you again

2:46PM  
Only one more week   
Can you believe it’s almost been 1 year?

2:47PM  
It feels like i’ve known you a lot longer  
I have something special for us planned  
:)

2:47PMM  
WHAT?  
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME NOW?  
WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING

2:49PM  
MARK?

2:51PM  
MARK LEE?????  
HELLOO?

2:55PM  
:)

3:02PM  
You will be the death of me Mark

* * *

Somehow, by some miracle and Taeyong’s careful Tetris skills, all five men managed to fit around a small round dining table covered in food. It was eerily similar to what Taeyong had gotten them for dinner last night, an array of various foods of varying shades of red and brown. Mark made no mention of their previous dinner and just watched the people around him settle into their chairs and start grabbing food silently. It was almost like he was back in college and he had ordered Chinese takeout for him and friends on a weekend. Or, even better, like he was backstage again with the band, watching them devour pizza. Somehow, what looked like a lot of food, nearly disappeared right before his eyes. Ten, who was sitting on his right, took notice of immobility.

“Are you not hungry?” He whispered, though it sounded like it was merely for show than anything else. 

“Huh?” Mark blinked, looking at Ten. “Oh. Yeah, sorry I was just amazed at how much food you all can eat.” 

“Lucas can eat as much as the rest of us combined by himself. It’s honestly kind of amazing, but also disgusting how he can eat that much and still look like that.” Ten made a motion towards Lucas, who was now laughing, mouth full of food, at something Jongin said. Yeah, disgusting is definitely a word for it.

“Mark, are you going to eat?” Taeyong has now also taken notice that Mark hadn’t made any move towards the food.

“I would eat now before Lucas eats it all and gets upset that you didn’t get to have any.” Ten bumped his shoulder, laughing before returning to the noodle dish in front of him.

“He has a point.” Taeyong laughed. He then grabbed a piece of what looked like fried chicken and brought it to Mark’s mouth. “Try this.”

Mark happily opened his mouth, trying not to think about where exactly he was right now.

* * *

“I’m taking Bella for a walk. Mark, do you want to come with me?” Ten stood up from his seat next to Mark, stretching his arms. 

Mark looked towards Taeyong, who was still finishing off a bowl of rice. “You can go, it’ll be fine,” Taeyong whispered, looking up from his food and nodding towards where Ten had walked off to. Mark nodded in return and Taeyong squeezed his thigh. Taeyong looked like he had more to say but didn’t say it, instead just took his hand off Mark’s thigh and smiled.

“Okay, then I guess I’ll be back.”

“Have fun, don’t freeze!” Jongin mused from his seat, practically slumping out of it at this point. 

Mark walked out the kitchen and towards the door he had come in through, where his shoes and coat waited for him. Ten was nowhere to be found but he hadn’t heard the door open so he just stepped down into the entryway to put his shoes on and grab his coat from out of the closet. By the time he was pulling his hat on, Ten had appeared next to him with Bella trotting behind in a navy blue sweater. 

“Are you warm enough? Do you have gloves?” Ten asked, sliding into a pair of black boots. It was, really, a silly look. Ten was wearing a black padded coat with baggy gray sweatpants tucked into what could pass as dressy boots. To top it all off he had on a baby pink beanie and a black mask. But it was past midnight at this point and there was sure to be next to no one on the streets in this temperature.

“I’m fine, I have gloves in my pocket.” Mark pulled out the black gloves to prove his point.

“Alright then.” Ten stepped to the door to grab a leash that was hanging off a hook. Bella was well trained, immediately sitting when she noticed Ten grabbed the leash. Ten quickly clipped it to the harness that was hiding under the sweater. Then, shouting something in what was likely Chinese, Ten opened the door and led the crew out into the hallway.

“Chinese?”

“Mmh, since she’s Lucas’ we figured we’d let him train her. So, Chinese it is.”

Mark was amazed that the group could navigate a relationship with such ease when only Jongin and Taeyong shared the same native language. Mark could barely keep up with Taeyong as it is and he grew up in Korean speaking household, he wonders how Ten could do it so easily.

“How do you keep up?” Mark asked as they rode down the elevator.

“With what?”

“Understanding what anyone is saying.”

“It was hard at first. Korean isn’t that similar to Thai and English. But when I moved here, it was sink or float. So I picked it up as quickly as possible. Chinese was easier at that point. When me and Lucas started dating, it was different. My motivation was different. Lucas was there to help me. Now people on the internet think I’m some sort of polyglot when I can barely form a coherent thought in Thai now. It’s been so long since I’ve had to.” Ten laughed, opening the door to outside and letting Mark through first.

“That’s still pretty impressive.” Mark instantly shivered when he fully stepped outside and was hit with icy wind.

“I guess it is.” Ten let Bella lead the way down the cracked sidewalk away from the building. It was silent for a minute, as they watched the beagle sniff every little thing, before Ten broke the silence. “Is it weird?”

“Is what weird?”

“Everything. Being with Taeyong. Being here in Korea. Being at our apartment. Walking with me alone in the middle of the night. All of it.”

Mark faltered in his steps, taken aback by the bluntness of the question.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just thought you might want to talk about it.” The stumbling did not go by unnoticed, as Ten had paused to let Bella sniff a little longer at a car. 

“I haven’t been trying to think about it, honestly.” 

“Why’s that?” Both of them finally resumed walking, approaching another street.

Mark hadn’t really thought about it in detail. His brain knew that this was something new and different and his automatic reaction was to be stressed. Ever since he graduated, it had been the same routine. It was good, routines were nice. But now, dating someone not even a year after breaking up with Donghyuck, it was like everything was flipped upside down. His routine changed to fit Taeyong into it. He was in a different country because of Taeyong. He was walking late at night with Taeyong’s boyfriend and their dog. None of this was something Mark would have ever imagined. And none of this is taking into account that Taeyong, and Ten, and the rest of them were celebrities. People with fans who lust over them on a regular basis. Everything about this was so vastly different from how life was before.

“It scares me…” Mark finally whispered, barely loud enough to hear over the wind. But Mark knew Ten heard. Ten made a face of consideration.

“But you’re still here.”

“I guess I am.”

By the time they had reached the main road, Ten had stopped to look at Mark. “When you called me, in the beginning, you said you were scared then, too. You were scared of doing this with Taeyong. Are you still scared of that too?”

Mark rubbed his gloved hands together, trying to keep his body from rattling him into the ground. Thinking back to that phone call, he was ready to have a heart attack over that decision. But now, in this moment, he’s happy with Taeyong and his choice. He’s happy that he’s here and that he has someone he trusts that isn’t Johnny. He’s happy that he could find the confidence to say yes to Jongin’s food offer, and that he was so comfortable talking to Ten like this. Ten had put Mark at ease instantly, even a month ago when he was just Ten from 4infinity and not Taeyong’s partner Ten. 

“I don’t think I am.” And he really meant it. He had found navigating this relationship easier and easier every day, Taeyong there to hold his hand through it all. Mark was sure that eventually things would get messy, but they could cross that bridge together. 

Ten took a step closer, Bella now wagging her tail in between their bodies. Ten stepped even closer still. The fog from their breaths were now indistinguishable.

“Can I kiss you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wee woo wee woo ! this was always intended to be a majorly poly fic, as a fyi... but.... will mark say yes.....???? ???? ??? ?? any comments appreciated, want to make sure this story is making sense for you all.
> 
> NOTE:  
> i think i have a couple more chapters until i need to stop and really work on the other work in this series. high tide, low tide is a hyuckil fic but haechan will make an appearance in 4infinity soon-ish. but before i can have that happen, i need to write more of ht,lt. it'll be an imporant moment for mark and i want to make sure i have haechan flushed out as a character before introducing him to the main storyline.


	27. After Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark comes to multiple decisions, finding courage in himself and in his relationship(s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is bare minimum editing done to this, sorry in advance

The first time Mark had kissed a boy, he was just another drunk college student at a frat party. He honestly couldn’t even tell you his name or what he looked like. It was all so unimportant to everything. Except, he still thinks about it. He thinks about what he would have done differently, about why he had to be drunk to kiss a man the first time, why he couldn’t do it sober. He thinks about big hands on his hips and being man-handled and not being able to decide if he liked it or not. No one saw them, they were in someone’s room with the lights off at the other guy’s insistence. Was Mark worried of someone seeing them? Would he have done it in the light of day? What changed?

It took a lot of time for him to grow comfortable in his own sexuality. A lot of time being about five months. He didn’t go back out after that first time, opting to stay with friends and people he knew. Then, somehow, he was convinced to go back to that same house. If the guy from before was there, he couldn’t tell you. Again, unimportant. Maybe it was the same guy who found his way to Mark, maybe it was some other drunk frat guy obsessed with Mark’s tiny waist. “I bet I could wrap both my hands around you,” he remembers. Last time, those words kept him up at night. This time, he hadn’t had anything to drink. Mark was in control of the situation and drunk frat boys were _easy._

It wasn’t the same as the first time. No other times after that were ever the same. Mark found confidence in the way men looked at him. Donghyuck especially. Donghyuck sitting on the kitchen counter, looking at Mark like he _could_ hang the stars for him. It was like he was kissing someone for the first time all over again, with his hands threaded through Donghyuck’s hair.

Kissing Taeyong didn’t come close to that. He likes Taeyong, but he wasn’t in love with him. Mark wasn’t ready to strip himself naked and bend over in the middle of a frat house for Taeyong. Maybe, in another world, Mark and Donghyuck were soulmates and would have lived their happily ever after. But this isn’t a storybook. People change and hearts get broken. Mark has grown and he found Taeyong along the way. And Ten and Lucas and Jongin. 

Kissing Taeyong wasn’t close to kissing Donghyuck.

Kissing Ten, however. Kissing Ten was like grabbing an electric fence to see if it’s on. You know you could just walk down two feet to check if it’s on, but it won’t hurt that much. Just touch it, a quick test.

Mark kissed Ten.

Of course Mark kissed Ten, they were so close and it was so, so tempting. Even though, if the sun was out and the snow was gone, he might have hesitated. A Mark in a Taeyong free world would have never. He would have run away and acted like nothing had even happened. But that isn't Mark anymore. Mark _wanted_ to kiss Ten.

Or maybe it was Ten kissing Mark. It was all the same.

In a way, Mark knew this was inevitable. Ten's lips were careful, gentle. They emptied Mark's head, if only for a brief moment. Then a car horn brought reality back to Mark. They were in public, anyone could see them. So he pulled himself away, stepped back, careful not to trip over the puppy under his feet. This wasn't right.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't-" Ten didn't let him finish though. For every step Mark took back, Ten was quick to take two steps closer. Ten was back in his space in no time, hands reaching to grab Mark's wrist before he could step back further again.

"Why are you running away?" Ten asked, calm despite Mark's obvious alarm at the situation.

"We're in _public!"_ Mark tried not to shout, careful to not draw attention to them. Not that any of this really mattered because it was late, it was dark, and no one was around. They just looked like two regular people taking their dog for a late night walk, shrouded in winter wear. But Mark was gracious. In the end, he didn't care about what happened to himself, he was worried for Ten. Ten had so much more on the line than Mark's little life.

"Why are you really?"

Mark tried to pull his wrist away, but Ten held strong.

"Because..." Mark trailed off. Bella whined, causing both men to look down. Without Ten staring at him, with the guise of privacy, Mark could think. "Because of Taeyong."

Ten looked up, a knowing look on his face. "Then talk to him."

"About what?"

"About how badly you want to kiss me." Ten laughed, finally breaking whatever sort of tension Mark had created in his head.

"That's.. that's not what I said?"

"It was implied." Ten looped his arm around Mark's and led them back to the apartment. "I know it's all new and scary but you need to talk to Taeyong before anything else." Somehow, it felt even colder. Even with Ten's body pressed against his as they walked. "I shouldn't have asked, I know, but I just really wanted to." Ten added with a whisper.

There were a number of things Mark could have said in this moment. 'It's okay.' 'I wanted to.' 'Can we do it again?' 'I don't want to get hurt.' 'I don't want to hurt Taeyong.' But Mark opted for silence as they strolled into the building and back into the elevator. They stayed silent the entire time, until they reached the apartment door. Ten fished in his coat pocket for a key. Before he unlocked the door, Ten looked at Mark.

"If you want to do that again, you have to promise me you'll talk to Taeyong." That was the question though. Did he actually want to kiss Ten? Again? In his head, he had barely finished wrapping his head around the fact that he was dating someone part of a polyamorous relationship.

"OK." Mark nodded, watching as Ten turned the key in the door knob.

* * *

"Do you want a tour?" Taeyong stood up from the couch as he saw Mark and Ten return.

"Don't you think it's late?" Jongin spoke up from his spot on the couch.

"As if any of you are going to bed any time soon." Taeyong made a sweeping motion to Jongin and Lucas who were both still in their day clothes with no sign of them getting up.

Before Jongin could tease, Mark spoke up. "Sure." He needed to talk to Taeyong anyway, even if it was to just clear his head and process exactly what the fuck was going on here. Ten didn't say anything as he wiped Bella's paws and took off her coat. It was as if nothing had even happened. 

Taeyong jerked his chin, walking towards a hallway lined with doors. Tour was a strong word. It was a four bedroom apartment and it was all on one floor. It honestly wasn't that far off from an apartment you could find in Mark's complex. Except for the fact that the bedrooms were significantly bigger and the bathrooms were all one wet room. Mark doesn’t even want to think about how much the rent for this place was, it was practically a house. 

Something Mark never thought about was the sleeping arrangements of 4infinity. There were never any pictures or videos of their bedrooms, or for anywhere in the home really. Which now makes sense why they would avoid pictures like that. Each room looked more or less the same, one full sized bed, one desk and chair, a wardrobe, and personal belongings. Except for Ten’s room, which looked to be the master bedroom and had a king sized bed. Taeyong explained that each member had their own room, if only for keeping up the facade even though they rarely slept all separately.

“How do you decide who sleeps with who? Wait, do you not sleep in the same bed?”

Taeyong laughed, walking into the last room which was his own. “It’s not as complicated as you might think. It’s pretty dependent on our schedules actually. I come home late a lot so I’ll sleep in my own room on those nights. Ten has the big bed, so sometimes we all try to squeeze in there. We’re pretty good at figuring it out at this point.”

“I see.”

“Why?”

Mark shrugged. “Wasn’t something I thought about until now.”

Taeyong was sitting on his neatly made bed. Mark stood in the middle of the room, observing Taeyong’s living space. This was home for Taeyong, a place that was inherently his own, bits of his life sitting on shelves and in drawers. He had a gaming computer with two monitors, shelves of knick knacks, photos of people littering the wall. It was easy to tell that Taeyong lived here.

As Mark finished his 360 ofo the room, ending his turn to find Taeyong with his hands reached out for Mark. Mark took the outstretched hands, stepping into his boyfriend’s space. Taeyong spread his legs further apart, making room for Mark to stand. 

“Do you want to stay here tonight? It’s late and I’m sure the roads are icy.” Taeyong asked, dropping his hands to slide his fingers into the front belt loops of Mark’s jeans.

“I don’t have any stuff here.” It was a lame excuse, but Mark didn’t want to impose. He also felt like he didn’t belong here, in a room among Taeyong’s personal belongings. It felt intimate, private.

“We have an extra toothbrushes and you can wear my clothes.”

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t it be weird?”

“Mark.”

“Taeyong.”

“Come on, I’ll get you something to sleep in.”

* * *

Taeyong got him a pair of sweatpants and a threadbare t-shirt from his dresser, laying it on his bed for Mark. He left the room, letting Mark change and to find an extra toothbrush. Mark made an agreement to himself that he would talk to Taeyong before they went to sleep. He wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without talking about the Ten situation; it would be the only thing he could think of until then. 

There was a knock at the bedroom door.

“Taeyong?” Lucas whisper-shouted on the other side of the closed door. He was trying to be polite by not being loud, but the whole apartment could have probably heard him with how loud his idea of a whisper was.

Mark walked over to the door to open it, saving himself from Lucas barging in. “He’s not here.”

“Oh, sorry.” Lucas said, stepping away from the now open door.

“I’m right here.” Taeyong appeared in the hallway next to Lucas, toothbrush in hand. “What do you need, Xuxi?”

“Jongin said you were staying here tonight. I was seeing if you were asleep yet. Wanted to tell you good night.” Despite his literal size and boisterous personality, Lucas was kind and modest in petto. Somehow he was able to make himself seem smaller. 

“Are you sleeping with Ten tonight?”

“No, Ten said he needed to be alone tonight. He seemed distracted so Jongin is making me sleep in his bed.” Lucas sounded like a child, upset over not getting exactly what he wanted. Pouty, but with no ill intention. Grumpy for the sake of being grumpy and maybe to get coddled just a little bit.

“Go to bed, I’ll come in just a second.”

Lucas turned on his heel and walked past Taeyong and into what Mark now knows as Jongin’s room.

Once Lucas had closed the door behind him, Taeyong handed Mark the toothbrush in his hand and made his way into the bedroom.

“Do you know what that’s about?” Taeyong asked, plopping into his computer chair.

“What?” Mark asked, awkwardly standing by the still open door.

“Ten.”

“Uhm…” Of course Taeyong would ask him about it. Mark was the last person with Ten, and now Ten wants to be alone. That would give anyone sirens and red flags, shouting ‘Hey, something happened between Mark and Ten!’ Which, something did happen. It maybe wasn’t the way that Mark would have wanted to address the something, Taeyong bringing it up first not how Mark had imagined this happening. But here we are. And now Mark wasn’t really sure how to start this conversation, or what his goal even was. 

“Go brush your teeth. You can tell me when you’re done.” Taeyong stood up, shooing him into the hallway and directing him to the closest bathroom. Taeyong then took his leave, seemingly on his way to say good night to Lucas as promised.

* * *

Taeyong closed the door behind him as he finally returned to his room. Mark had Made his way to bed, now carefully under the covers waiting for Taeyong to return. He had spent the last ten minutes waiting and trying to psych himself up. Easier said than done.

“So, what did you and Ten talk about?” Taeyong started for him, sitting on the edge of the bed angled towards Mark. There was no harm in just being forthright, right?

“I kissed Ten.”

Silence.

Okay so maybe this was a horrible idea and Mark should have lied. 

“I know that it was wrong and we shouldn’t have but-“ Taeyong interrupted him before he could ramble any longer.

“Is that it?”

Mark was confused. Was that _it?_ As if Mark didn’t disregard his fidelity for a quick selfish moment with Ten. 

“Well, I mean he asked first but yes?”

“Then why is Ten being broody? I figured he would be happy…”

“Wait, what?!” Mark sat up, staring at Taeyong who was staring at the closed door.

Taeyong shrugged, “you’re a good kisser.”

Alright then.

“And… you’re ok with this?”

“Well I mean I would have liked if we talked about it first. I figured Ten would want to sink his claws into you but you always seem…” Taeyong made wild motions in the air, humming, “I don’t know, hesitant? Not interested in the idea of what we do?” Taeyong finally turned to look at Mark.

“It wasn’t something I thought about.”

“But you’re thinking about it now?”

Mark hummed, is this really what it came down to? If he said yes, he’d be flipping the last bit of normalcy he had left in his love life. He wouldn’t be able to pretend anymore, wouldn’t be the perfect union of two people. If he said no, he’d be plain lying. Which sin was worse? Consensual adultery or a bold faced lie?

“Yes.” Mark decided, he was already going to hell for being gay.

“I don’t want you to rush into something because Ten makes you feel like you have to. If you don’t want to, say no. Ten will still be your friend, he’s got tough skin.” Taeyong stood up, staring at Mark. “But I’m not going to help you. You made the decision, so you have to follow through. What do you say? _Ball is in your court?_ ” Taeyong said in accented English. Mark tried not to laugh. Taeyong was being cute, however intentional it may have been. That was certainly one way to defuse the situation.

Taeyong smiled, then turned around to head towards a dresser on the opposite side of the room. _Guess that’s the end of this conversation,_ Mark thought. He went to go lay back down in bed, grabbing the covers. But he dropped them as soon as he saw Taeyong strip to his tight black boxer briefs. No warning, no shame, just pure skin. Taeyong then neatly put his clothes into a hamper that was next to the dresser, bypassing the dresser altogether to get back into bed.

Taeyong was lean, fit but not muscular. Any videos online of Taeyong disrobed were always blurred or carefully cropped to protect his decency or whatever excuse the company came up with. Not that it mattered now because Taeyong was slinking his way towards the bed, a crooked smile on his face.

“Ten likes to keep the apartment hot in the winter.” Was all Taeyong had to offer. Mark was going to melt into the sheets, disregardless of the temperature in the room. Especially with the way that Taeyong was looking at him right now. Mark’s mind went blank, the only thought in his head being about the major whiplash he was getting right now. How did they go from a serious conversation to Taeyong being nearly naked, getting under the covers next to Mark.

Mark finally gathered the brains to lay down and pull the cover over him, carefully avoiding touching Taeyong and his perfectly clean skin. Taeyong rolled onto his side, facing Mark. Mark followed, rolling to face Taeyong.

“Top or bottom?” Taeyong asked, as he fidgeted under the cover.

“Huh?” Mark was dumbfounded, mouth hanging open and surely drool leaking out at the angle he was laying. 

Taeyong wiggled in bed. “Do you sleep on top of the flat sheet?” He had successfully pulled the flat sheet from under his body, pulling it over him and leaving Mark awkwardly pulling it down on his side of the bed. He wasn’t talking about fucking. Obviously! He was talking the sheets, the thing he was messing with under the comforter. Taeyong totally wasn’t talking about fucking, about whether or not Mark wanted to fucking, what? Top Taeyong?

“Oh… OH! It doesn’t… it doesn’t matter to me, I don’t use them at home. I just leave them in the closet.” Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Taeyong just laughed. Okay, so maybe Mark wasn’t stupid. Maybe Taeyong was just evil and liked watching Mark suffer.

“You didn’t answer my question. I don’t care either way but I have some issues with my back right now so I can’t do any... receiving any time soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> comments and kudos always welcome! i think i might have 1 or 2 more chapters before i bust out the interlude


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